Wednesday One-Liner’s Burden

Jamaican man on cell: First there is the white people, then comes the animals, then comes me!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Cog-in-the-wheel

White hipster: Don’t let the white man bring you down!

–N. 6th & Bedford Ave

Black man, yelling at UGG-wearing Fordham student passing by: White girls get loving, too. But, not with those boots!

–E. Fordham Rd & Bathgate Ave

Guy with rosary: Yo, that girl used to be so bad. Now she’s hanging out with white people and playing croquet. Or whatever that shit is.

–North Woods, Central Park

Cute black girl: Damn! White girls be steppin’ it up! They got booties now and everything!

–106th & Broadway

Posted on June 4, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Black People, Brooklyn, Bryant Park, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Foreigners, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Men, On Cell, Race, Shoes, Sports, The Bronx, Threats, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People

Did You Bring Your Camera?

Annoying hipster: Hey man, you still have that hook up for blow?
Guy #1: No man, he went under, I have a new connection now. Just go to the second bodega at the corner and ask the guy for a fairy dust pizza.
Annoying hipster: Really, alright man, thanks.
Guy #2, after hipster leaves: That’s not true, is it?
Guy #1: Of course not.

–Meserole St

Posted on June 1, 2008
Advice, Brooklyn, Cocaine, Default, Guys, Hipsters, Lies, Questions, Stupidity

So It’s Guaranteed You’ll Fall Asleep Right Afterwards

Hipster guy trying to make out with hipster girl: Come on baby, I swear I’m not drunk.
Exasperated hipster girl: Oh my god, I didn’t say you’re drunk, I said you have mono.

–Friday Night Bar Crawl, West 4th St

Posted on May 30, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Fears, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Illness, Offers and requests, Pick-up Lines, The Village, Threats

Wednesday One-Liners Are for Keeping Airports in

Girl to friends, while walking past bar: Oh, this is the place I got drunk at, then woke up in Queens.

–40th & 7th

Overheard by: Jesse

Drunk Italian guy, entering uptown NRW station: Uptown and Queens? That’s where all the pussy is!

–23rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Zarek

Middle-aged black woman on phone: I can see all Queens from up in here, nigga. Aw, damn, I can see that Rhode Island shit now.

–Roosevelt Island Tram

Overheard by: Jack Fleming

20-Something hipster girl on cell: Why do you have to get off the phone? You’re eating? Again? You big fat ass… God, I hate Queens.

–Queens Bridge

Overheard by: SL

Conductor over loudspeaker: You are now on the N train running to Queens… Unlike yesterday when I was in Queens running the train on all of youse. Enjoy.

–N Train

Overheard by: Kevin

Voice from dressing room stall: I am at a Sears in Queens. S. O. S.

–Sears, Rego Park, Queens

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on May 28, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Italians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Queens, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Store, Subway conductors, Women

Your Editors Suggest You Read Overheard in New York With a Friend

Hipster: Why are you playing Tetris when you have me to talk to?
Friend, still playing: Shhhh.
Hipster: [Closes friend’s phone.]Friend, looking up: Things like that break up friendships.

–Broadway & Lafayette

Overheard by: Jer

Posted on May 22, 2008
Cell Phone, Default, Etiquette, Friends, Friendship, Hipsters, Questions, Video Games

Wednesday One-Liners Snort When They Laugh

Guy to self: Doctor Jean Grey has the most powerful orgasm of all the X-Men.

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: Stan

Engineering school chick, screaming: And I was like, ‘Oh my god, this is the worst protractor ever!’

–Columbia University

Skanky hipster chick to another: I would totally do him… But only if I had the ninja outfit on.

–Ludlow St.

[Four NYPD cops are checking people’s bags at rush hour. A man in a suit appears to be their superior.]Man in suit: But then he realizes that Jedis don’t seek revenge. [The four cops all nod gravely.]

–W 4th St Subway Station

Overheard by: KL

Fiftyish suit: Chewbacca, the original wingman…

–86th & Lexington

Overheard by: Ike

Woman on cell: I’m busy. I’ve got things to do. And right now what I’m doing is looking at comic books.

–Forbidden Planet

Overheard by: Josh

Chick: We were always competing to be chief geek… But he had asperger’s, so he won.

–Central Park

Posted on May 14, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Books & Writing, Central Park, Clothing, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Hipsters, Leisure, On Cell, Orgasm, Parks, Penn Station, Psychology, Sorority Girls, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Suits, The Village, TV, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

That’s When I Realized He Was a Robot

Young hipster professional: …I mean, you’ve seen the signs, right? “If you see something, say something”? …So I ran to the conductor’s car at the next stop and said, “Hey, there’s a really suspicious guy in the second car, he’s acting strange”.
Girlfriend: Oh my god! What did he say?
Young hipster professional: He said, “Stand clear of the closing doors.”

–6 Train

Posted on May 13, 2008
Boyfriends, Crime and Punishment, Default, Girlfriends, Hipsters, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Terrorism, Weirdness

The Appeal Of Perez Hilton’s Site: Encapsulated

Female prepster: … And part of me is totally into really fucked up people with really fucked up problems.
Male prepster: Yeah. Me too. Totally, dude.

–110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Justin Casement

Posted on May 11, 2008
Default, Friendship, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Hipsters, Preppies, Psychology, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Fake Fur Is Fake Murder, Though

Hipster smoking clove: Hey, what kind of fur is that?
Uptown woman in fur: Um… Fake?
Hipster smoking clove: Cool.

–Outside the Imperial Theatre, West 45th Street

Overheard by: JasonBSchmidt

Posted on May 4, 2008
Animals & Nature, Clothing, Compliments, Default, Fakes, Hipsters, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Rich people, Smokers & Smoking, Theater, Women

A Man Who’s Tall in the Saddle Has a Long Way to Fall

Hipster girl #1: Yeah, after he got up I told him it would probably be better to look at the girl he’s having sex with next time.
Hipster girl #2: Good life lesson.

–Wilburg Café

Posted on May 1, 2008
Advice, Compliments, Default, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Sex

Hipsters