Kid on bicycle which is far too big for him to guy jogging by: Damn, mister, it's too hot to be running…wanna buy a bike?
–Carmine & 7th Ave
Kid on bicycle which is far too big for him to guy jogging by: Damn, mister, it's too hot to be running…wanna buy a bike?
–Carmine & 7th Ave
Employee: I like your pink shirt.
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: It's not pink; it's white with pink and green stripes.
Employee: So you like to wear pink?
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: My shirt *isn't* pink! (now shouting) It's white with pink and green stripes and it takes a real man to wear pink!
–Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Synitta Walker
Small child #1: Look, they got toys out already and the movie isn't even out yet!
Small child #2: Yo, that's crazy gay!
–Toys R Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Tim
Man on cell: Hey mom… It's your son! You jackass!
–Bleecker & Mercer
Hot girl to hot friend: Has my brother ever told you his glue stories? (friend shakes head) Well… (begins whispering)
–2 Train
Man shouting on cell: I didn't know she was your sister! Jesus!
–Amtrak Train
Four-year-old to another: I'll be the mother and you the daughter, so you the boss of me.
–Ave D
Woman to friend: Not only is he messing with my marriage, but now I gotta tell my kids they ain't brothers!
–Park Ave & 125th St
Woman to another: …so I was fucking your brother.
–Theatre District
Dad to son who is crying after being pushed by another kid: Johnny*, why are you crying? He didn't do it on purpose. He's your friend.
Johnny: No he's not! No one's my friend! I don't have friends!
–Brooklyn Heights Promenade
Overheard by: Margarita
Cigarette-bearing mom with raspy voice: Honey, do you want to come with me to get an iced tea?
Five-year old son: Yeah!
Cigarette-bearing mom with raspy voice: No, I was kidding…I'm getting cigarettes.
–129th St, Rockaway
Overheard by: Robert
Black woman: So he wanted to get married, so I can help him out, and I was all for it, cuz I've know him since I was fifteen, and we're cool like that.
Indian woman: Well, do it then.
Black woman: But then he said he wanted more like a real wife…I can't be anyone's wife, I got me two kids and my baby's daddy might not like it.
Indian woman: Uhhh. Well, then know what you're doing.
–M4 Downtown
Overheard by: Amanda
Security guard to another: I know it's habitual to act retarded.
–Time Warner Security Check
Overheard by: spandangle
Security guard: The door's that way, people. I know that when you see a door you want to go through it–it's human nature.
–Crown Plaza Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: GJL
Female security guard: What does my sexual genitalia have to do with it?
–Brooklyn Library
Little boy: Mommy, mommy, look! They've got security guards! Must be a rich people place.
–86th & Brooklyn
Security guard, after metal detector beeps: Ma'am, would you please remove your wooden bracelet and walk back through the metal detector again?
–Liberty Island
Overheard by: heather linford
Crazy security guard: I have so much gas. I'm going to take all my gas and send it to Iraq and end the war. (gets distracted by a girl walking past with an ice cream cone) Hey, you're stomach's gonna freeze!
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Honest Truth
Security guy to suit: Why do you all feel like congratulating me for his win? Just cause I'm black doesn't mean I should be congratulated. Why do you keep doing that? What the fuck did I do?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pop pop
little boy to father: When are the bad people leaving the White House so Obama can be President?
–Grocery Store, 71st & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Rena
FedEx guy to shipping clerk: Obama's gonna go uptown and say, "that's right, niggas, I'z here!"
–W 26th & 6th Ave
Angry black woman on cell: Excuse me! Obama is our President now and I won't be calling you "massa" anymore. You understand?
–Worth & Broadway
Middle-aged black man sitting at bus stop: Not "yo mama," not "Osama," "Obama!" They should paint the White House black. No…that would be irresponsible. Maybe caramel.
–125th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Nicole
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. I want to wish you all a dry, cozy, Obama weekend. Now could you please spare some change for a hungry man? (young black man gives him change) Now that is an Obama voter. (looks around at white people) I will also accept change from McCain voters.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Steph
Guy on phone, announcing to the bar: My baby can say "Obama"!
–Lucky Jack's, Orchard St
Overheard by: Karin
