Girl #1: Yeah, that carousel one is for kids.
Girl #2: Oh, I know that. But they like have one for dudes too, right?
–Bryant Park
Girl #1: Yeah, that carousel one is for kids.
Girl #2: Oh, I know that. But they like have one for dudes too, right?
–Bryant Park
Little girl to mother: Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?
Mother (under breath): You're laughing now, but one day…
–86th & York
Overheard by: Micaela
Three-year-old girl: Do you get lots of clothes when you die?
Jamaican nanny: No, not at all. Your daddy will be gone, and your mommy will be gone, and your sister will be gone, and your grandma will be gone. You will be all alone.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Louis
Tween #1: Look at them lights in the sky. They look like Batman lights.
Tween #2: No, man, that's angels coming from heaven.
Tween #1: No, that's aliens coming down to interrogate us.
–President St & Franklin Ave, Prospect Heights
Overheard by: JvC
Headline by: Michael
Runners-Up:
· “But Both Were Wrong, for It Was Divine George Bush Descending From His Presidency.” – AlphaBeta
· “It Was a Street Lamp.” – Paul K.
· “Lucas and Spielberg – the Tween Years” – TV
· “Or, As People Out in the Country Call Them, “Stars”” – BabakganoosH
· “Pop Culture – 3: Science – 0” – The Joker
· “Robert Pattinson Gets an Unexpeected Visit After They Take the Aliens to Their Leader” – Tuesday’s Intern
· “The Anti-LSD Ads Write Themselves” – Adam B.
Little kid: Mommy, what's peyote?
Mom, looking around nervously: Ummm…ask your father, sweetie.
–F Train
Pissing guy on phone: What do you mean you're not going to have sex with me? (entire bathroom laughs hysterically) See! Even these motherfuckers agree with me!
–Bathroom, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Bobby
Dad to young son in bathroom stall: Aim in the bowl. Aim in the bowl. Aim in the bowl. Did you aim in the bowl? Did you aim in the bowl? (son comes out of stall) You did! But you didn't flush. One out of two ain't bad.
–Bathroom, Union Square Movie Theater
(constipation grunts and electronic sounds are heard inside next stall)
Guy in next stall, on walkie-talkie: Hey, Tony, turn the walkie-talkie off when you take a shit!
–Men's Room, Hilton Hotel
Drunk white girl: Oh my god, this bathroom is so dark. How am I supposed to see my vagina?
–East Village
Tall black British guy using the urinal, to himself: Repeat aftah me…you are a rock star! Ah! Yeah!
–5th Avenue
Guy on bench smoking cigarette, on cell: But he has no problem lifting his legs so you can eat his ass.
–Central Park
Cornrowed boy to cornrowed girl: Stop chewing on me!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Kelly D
Random girl showing a picture to friends: I'm eating the baby's head. It's what I do in my spare time.
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Nameless
Woman to another with colored contacts: I just want to eat your eyes!
–Elevator, Broadway & 32nd St
Four-year-old boy to teenage babysitter: Oh, yeah? I'm gonna bite your vagina!
–86th & Broadway
Woody Allen lookalike: But buses are so creepy. I mean, what if there are cannibals on the bus?
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: or snakes
Random guy: She still breastfeeds her kids.
Random girl: How old are they?! Like 4 or 5?
Random guy: 9 years old.
Random girl: What!? That's ridiculous.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Teresa
Kid on bicycle which is far too big for him to guy jogging by: Damn, mister, it's too hot to be running…wanna buy a bike?
–Carmine & 7th Ave
Employee: I like your pink shirt.
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: It's not pink; it's white with pink and green stripes.
Employee: So you like to wear pink?
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: My shirt *isn't* pink! (now shouting) It's white with pink and green stripes and it takes a real man to wear pink!
–Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Synitta Walker
