Four-year-old girl: Mommy, is this avant-garde?
Mom: Yes.
Four-year-old girl: Mommy, I like avant-garde.
–MoMA
Four-year-old girl: Mommy, is this avant-garde?
Mom: Yes.
Four-year-old girl: Mommy, I like avant-garde.
–MoMA
(little boy has a Hot Wheels car and he's rolling it all over everything around him)
Boy: Mom, can I roll it on your head?
Mom: No, you'll mess up my hair.
Boy: Your arms?
Mom: Yeah, sure.
Boy: Your chest?
Mom: No, that's not appropriate.
Boy: Okay…your nipples?
Mom: That's definitely not appropriate.
Boy (disappointed): Aaww…
–6 Train
Overheard by: 1-800-mattres
50-something lady to 30-something daughter: I really want Japanese food.
30-something daughter: Where do you wanna go?
50-something lady: I see Japanese people in that restaurant. It must be sushi… what's it called?
30-something daughter: Nick's Pizza.
–Fortest Hills
Overheard by: Godzirra
College girl: Yeah, the worst part about Africa was that we, like, didn't go out!
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Noemi
Shabby-looking blue collar mom to distinguished older Indian woman: Ohhh! I have always wanted to go to Bollywood! I love East Africa and Asia! I wanted to buy a bonsai tree, but they are way too expensive.
–5 Train
20-something, looking at Washington arch: There was something like this in France.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: M
Guy on cell: I swear I didn't have sex with her when I was in Norway.
–Lower East Side
Soccer mom: I dropped a twenty dollar bill last time I was in here, like, two weeks ago. Did anybody find it and turn it in?
Cashier: Ya know, we’ve gotten so many twenties turned in this month, you’re going to have to identify yours. Whats the serial number?
–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Veronica at www.lonelyroadsandpsychopaths.com
Girl selling Obama condoms: Buy Obama condoms, they are cheaper than a baby and easier to push than a stroller.
Mom pushing stroller: You're two years too late.
–44th & 7th
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Small child, trying a Sprite: I don’t like it.
Dad: If you don’t like the taste, just spit it out.
Mom: I’ve heard that one before.
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: Brian Flanagan
50-something Long Island woman, showing pictures of her dog while talking non-stop about it: And this is Cici wearing a hat, she usually wears a hat when she goes out. And this is Cici, very drunk…
–LIRR
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Guy on cell walking a tiny poodle: Dude! The dog did it again. (pause) No, I swear, dude. The. Dog. Did. It. Again. (pause) Dude! This dog talks. Talks.
–Broadway & 43rd St, Astoria
(little girl finishes petting a stranger's dog)
Girl's mother: Now say "thank you" to its human.
–Central Park Lawn
Hyper tween schoolgirl: Hey mom, remember when we brought the dog to the mall and he peed in a coconut?
–La Pallette, 12th St
Guy to friend: I love her more than anything, but something about the way her puppy's paws smell really seal it.
–Rosa's Pizza, Penn Station
Overheard by: Craig
Mother to preschool-aged child: That's the New York Stock Exchange. That's where we lose all our money.
–Outside NYSE
Overheard by: Angel
Man to four-shoe-pair-buying wife: It's people like you who confuse the economists.
–Macy's
Toll booth operator to chick in car during rush hour: So, what's your take on the economy these days?
–Verrazano Bridge
Young dudes, watching suits take Queens train at 9 am: Oooh! They got fired.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Only in Brooklyn
Teenage tourist, pointing: Mom, look! It’s Daryl Hannah!
Mom: Honey, that’s not Daryl Hannah. That’s one of those transgender people.
–Downtown 6 train, 77th St
Overheard by: Anne
Headline by: pontiac
Runners-Up:
·
“As I Always Say, ‘If You Can’t Tell, It Doesn’t Matter.'” – Dave
· “Must Be Nicolette Sheridan’s Day Off.” – seamus
· “Not to Mention She’s still Tied to a Walnut Tree in LA” – Liz!
· “Perhaps the Blade Runner Left an Angry Inch” – megs
· “So That’s Where She Went.” – Eamon Stimson
· “Technically, They’re Both Right” – Wes Mantooth
· “Tom Hanks Thought It Was a Fish Tail.” -peter
· “Who Says ‘Ambiguous’ Isn’t a Classic Look?” –
Dame Droiture
