Little boy to older sister: Look at that ugly bird.
Older sister, bored: Yeah, wow.
Little boy: I wanna crash it…stupid bird.
Older sister: Don't do that baby, it's not nice.
Little boy: Why not? I just wanna crash it.
Older sister: Because serial killers kill animals when they're little.
Little boy: What's a serial killer?
Older sister: It's something white people do for fun.
–7th Ave & 9th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: I have yet to kill anyone
Crotchety old Jewish lady, passing Palm Sunday parade: Easter is for amateurs.
–W 72nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Naomi Choy Smith
Little old lady looking down steep basement stairway: Wow…I wouldn't want to be drunk going down those stairs!
–Broome & Essex
Old guy: I'm going out for a smoke. If you see someone take this jacket, shoot to kill.
–Starbucks
Old man with beard, hunched over walker, watching couple holding hands: You two been doin' the nasty, ain't ya?
–27th & Broadway
Old black lady in wheelchair: I mean, what was he gonna do with a dead body?
–Bowery
Overheard by: Lauren
Very old man to another, in thick New York accent: Ya gotta take it…and put it on ya rectum like this. (demonstrates with hand gesture)
–53rd St & 10th Ave
Elderly gentleman to another: From now on, you will obey me!
–Carnegie Hall
Unstylish woman to woman in fur coat: Fur is murder!
Woman in coat: You should be murdered.
–6th Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: ilove fur
Random passerby to man whose bulldog is urinating in garbage bag: He's a good dog!
Dog owner: Yes, he is!
Random passerby: Be careful, though, he could kill you.
Dog owner: Oh, he totally could.
–11th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Nina
20-something: Well, what are we going to do tonight if the movie is sold out?
Black comedy slinger, overhearing: See a comedy show!
20-something: No, that's okay.
Black comedy slinger: It's cool, I never killed anyone.
20-something: We're alright.
Black comedy slinger: And I love white people.
20-something: We're not tourists…
Black comedy slinger: Oh, okay. Want a piggyback ride?
–44th & Broadway
Overheard by: Robert B
Small boy: So abortion isn't like killing, it's like stopping?
Small boy's mother: Yes, honey…it's all very complicated, but, some people think that a baby can't be killed when it's inside the womb because it's not really a baby yet.
Small boy: So, it's not a baby till it's out?
Small boy's mother: That's right.
Small boy: And then we can kill them?
–M103 Bus
Overheard by: Lilly
Tween thug #1: Yo, Beth Israel hospital. You gotta be a Jew to go there? Haha!
Tween thug #2, somberly: No. My grandmother was in there.
Tween thug #1: Oh. I'm sorry… Shit! Look, that's where we got arrested! They cuffed me on that corner!
Tween thug #2: Yo, what time is it?
Tween thug #1: 5:11. (pause) Oh damn, my momma told me I had to be home at 5! She gonna kill me.
–B82 Bus
Puzzled guy on cell: What kind of girl calls you a "cuddly wuddly bear" and doesn't go out with you?
–The Village
Overheard by: Greene
Hobo: Hey there, folks! I'm Yogi Bear! Have you seen Ranger Rick?
–Gray's Papaya
Overheard by: Zach
Woman on cell: I'm glad the evil bear didn't kill you in your sleep!
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk girl to sober companion: Oh my god, I saw this dog the other day. It was a bear!
–Tick-Tock Diner
Outraged girl on cell: She's anti-polar bear?
–NYU Campus
Overheard by: nina
20-something: He said he murdered someone.
Friend: He's so cute!
20-something: I know!
–N Train
Six-year-old girl, with mace in hand: Look, mommy! A mace! Now I can hit unicorns and make them bleed. Death to unicorns!
Mom: That's great, honey.
–8th Ave & Carroll St
