Young, attractive blonde: See, if we didn't get a divorce, you totally would have cheated on me.
Old, unattractive dude: Yeah, yeah. You're right.
–Home Depot
Young, attractive blonde: See, if we didn't get a divorce, you totally would have cheated on me.
Old, unattractive dude: Yeah, yeah. You're right.
–Home Depot
Old man: Could you tell me where a restaurant is?
Security guard: Right there (points to men's room).
Old man: I don't want to shit. I want to eat.
–JFK Airport
Guard to elderly tourists at elevator to roof: Please swing the line around the corner.
Elderly tourist: Ve don't sving.
–Metropolitan Museum
Old, foreign Asian, looking through comic book collection: Want a Looney Tunes with Porky Pig on the cover!
Vendor, turning to stranger: Porky fucking Pig, man!
–Flea Market, 23rd St
Old hobo sitting on sidewalk to grad student: Hey man! You want some cocaine?
Grad student: No, thanks man.
Old hobo: Alright, have a good night.
Grad student: You too.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: tee hee :)
Older woman: She's still a butthead for moving out so soon.
Girl: Grandma, she had a baby!
Older woman: I don't care.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: JEI
Woman on cell: He was here for ten days and he only touched my boobs twice!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: and my girlfriend would be upset if it were 10 minutes
Old thug passing three fat chicks on their way to a club: Explosion of titties!
–Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn
Hipster barista guy: A boob is just a moisturized bag of skin, seriously!
–Think Coffee
Overheard by: its to early for this conversation
Full-on punk guy: Dude! Shit is so good! I just want someone to squirt tahini all over my tits!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Dahlia
Girl on phone: Wait! What? No! Well, I do shit a lot. But I don't want to shit my boobs away!
–Times Square
Loud girl to friend: How the hell do you lose your vibrator?
–4th St & 2nd Ave
Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm just waiting in line at Whole Foods. Still want me to bring the dildo over?
–Whole Foods
Gay man to boyfriend: I'm glad we could come here and show your coworkers that we really do buy lube for our sexual adventures.
–The Leather Man
Overheard by: i don't go to sex shops with my boyfriend
Creepy older man on phone: Someone should really dildo her.
–5th Ave & 58th St.
Overheard by: Courtney
Girl, loudly: Why didn't you tell me you bought lube?!
–Crowded NYU Elevator
Overheard by: S
Large woman to group of friends: And if someone asks a question, I just wave a dildo in front of their eyes!
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: Liat
Young cashier: Have a nice day!
Small old lady: What's so nice about it?
Young cashier: That you're still alive.
–W 90th St
Old woman pushing cart, loudly to old man: I'm going to get you mouthwash for your teeth.
Old man: But I don't have teeth.
Old woman, now yelling: I know that! But this way when you get teeth, you'll know you have mouthwash.
–Columbus Ave & 103rd St
Overheard by: Xsusha
