Girl #1: So then he shot his dad, because his dad was beating on his mom.
Girl #2: Okay.
Girl #1: Um, it’s sort of okay, but it sort of isn’t.
–B train
Girl #1: So then he shot his dad, because his dad was beating on his mom.
Girl #2: Okay.
Girl #1: Um, it’s sort of okay, but it sort of isn’t.
–B train
HS girl #1: What time is it?
HS girl #2: 8:25.
HS girl #1: Ha, I missed half my period! Ew, that sounded nasty!
–3 train
Tourist dad: Oh my god, why does it say Grand Central? Guys, get off the train! Why is it Grand Central?
Chick: If you’re trying to go to Times Square just wait on that platform.
Tourist dad: No, we’re trying to go to Grand Central Station.
Chick: Um, well, you’re here.
Tourist dad: Grand Central Terminal? How is it Grand Central?
–7 train
Suit: (bangs on information glass repeatedly)
Clerk, playing with his iPod: How may I help you?
Suit: Can I exchange my expired MetroCard?
Clerk: See the sign says “information only”? Go across the street.
Suit: So what are you here for? To play with your iPod?
Clerk: I deserve my job.
–R Train
Overheard by: Danchik
Teen girl #1: I have to write an expository essay on something that has impacted my life.
Teen girl #2: Has anyone in your family ever died?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, but no one, like, close to me.
Teen girl #2: Do you have any, like, retards in your family?
Teen girl #1: No, but I did meet a retard one time… He was, like, really retarded, too. Maybe I’ll write about that…
–F train
Nice guy #1: Hey, miss, would you like my seat?
Preggers: No.
Nice guy #2: Here, take mine. I’m getting off soon.
Preggers: For the love of God, I fucking said no! People these days gotta learn themselves some English.
–Bronx-bound 4 train
Bag lady: Ladies and gentlemen, my husband and I are homeless. We can’t stay at our shelter during the day so we come on the train to get food. Today we are asking for money so we can do laundry. Anything you can give will help.
Hobo: Why don’t you just admit that you’re gonna buy crack? I’m in the same line of work, don’t believe her.
–N train
Drunk hobo boarding train: Hey, is this uptown or downtown?
Girl: It’s the…
Drunk hobo: Fuck it! Lets go!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tiffany
Giggling guy in suit: The seven is like way out there. I mean, way out there. I hear people just take out woks and start cooking in them. Like it’s Chinatown or something.
–Q train
Overheard by: Adrian
(little boy has a Hot Wheels car and he's rolling it all over everything around him)
Boy: Mom, can I roll it on your head?
Mom: No, you'll mess up my hair.
Boy: Your arms?
Mom: Yeah, sure.
Boy: Your chest?
Mom: No, that's not appropriate.
Boy: Okay…your nipples?
Mom: That's definitely not appropriate.
Boy (disappointed): Aaww…
–6 Train
Overheard by: 1-800-mattres
