Bless Me, Father, for I Have Wednesday One-Linered

Man in cowboy hat, looking at large crowd surrounding a Jew for Jesus: Man, I can't compete with religion, all I got are card tricks! This sucks!

–Union Square

Overheard by: SilentRaver

Guy on cell: Why, is it because it's the blacks? (pause) Oh, I get it. It's the Baptists.

–Cosi, 13th & Broadway

Overheard by: Heather

Crazy creepster, going up to Catholic girls and screaming: Catholic schoolgirls rule!

–R Train

Overheard by: Amanduh

Tall, 40-something guy on cell: I don't know… I don't think I can go drunk to church.

–53rd St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Midtown Schmidtown

Woman: My husband is pissed because I skipped church for this shit!

–Medieval Festival, Ft. Tryon Park

Posted on December 2, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Bars & Clubs, Catholics, Christianity, Church, Crazies, Creepsters, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Gripes, Guys, Jesus, Judaism, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Race, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

The Neverending Story

Tot, slapping storybook shut: No! The end!
Father: Leee-o.
Tot: Pleeease no!

–F Train

Overheard by: Deborah Smith

Posted on December 1, 2009
Books & Writing, Dads, Kids, On the Subway, Parents, Should've Used a Condom, Violence

That's What I Was Afraid Of

Mousy teen girl: You know, a lot of people say I look like Paris Hilton. They say it's my facial features.
Trendy teen girl: Yeah… You know, even though Paris is really skinny and has big boobs, and that's exactly what guys want, her face is disgusting.
Mousy teen girl, looking down awkwardly: Yeah.

–Uptown 6 Train

Overheard by: Miss Rach

Posted on November 30, 2009
About Celebrities, Body Parts, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Rack, Teens, Wishes & desires

And Impossible With It Up, One Would Think

Boy: Man, this semester I'm going to fuck everyone. I'm gonna be a real man-whore.
Friends: Uh-huh.
Man leaving train: Someone should tell him it's hard to be a man-whore with his zipper down.

–F Train

Posted on November 29, 2009
Clothing, Comebacks, Friends, Guys, On the Subway, Passengers, Physical appearance, Promiscuity, Sex, Strangers, Wishes & desires

Why Am I So Happy?

Kid: Daddy, I want a big car.
Dad: If you want a big car, you have to get a good job.
Kid: I want to be an artist like you.
Dad: Well, I went to college for art and now I don't have a lot of money and I don't have a car.

–2 Train

Overheard by: Child-Averse Art Hater

Posted on November 28, 2009
Cars and Driving, Dads, Education, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Money & Class, On the Subway, Parents, Wishes & desires

But The DHL Guy Had It

Girl to friend: I have to go by the post office to pick up a package, because I missed the UPS guy when he tried to deliver it.
Friend: Huh?

–2 Train

Posted on November 24, 2009
Friends, Girls, On the Subway, Private Parts, Stupidity

Why We're Still in Iraq

Confused tourist: Excuse me, I want to take the red line.
Confused New Yorker: You needed to get off at the last stop.
Confused tourist: No, I got on at last stop. Want to take the red train.
Confused New Yorker: Yes, you needed to get off at the last stop.
Confused tourist: But I'm not going to that stop.
Confused New Yorker: No, you aren't.
Confused tourist: How do I get on red line?
Confused New Yorker: Help me!

–L Train

Posted on November 23, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Directions, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Tourists, Wishes & desires

Who Says You Can't Win an Argument?

Girl #1: Stop pushing!
Girl #2: You stop pushing!
Girl #1: Stop pushing or I'm gonna punch your fat teeth into your fat face!

–F Train

Overheard by: goodstuff

Posted on November 19, 2009
Diet/Weight, Girls, Insults, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Punch, Threats

Wednesday One-Liners, for Purely Medicinal Purposes

Guy wearing a promotional cardboard to another: I think I'm going to treat myself to health insurance next month.

–Broadway & 43rd St

Overheard by: Maria

Woman on phone: My urologist wanted to stick a microscope up my urethra! (pause) No! (pause) Because it's going to hurt!

–Vandam St & 6th Ave

20-something woman on cell: Yeah, the doctor told me not to exfoliate my labia.

–R Train

Overheard by: Note to self….

Bartender: I gotta get sexy for my doctor tomorrow. I'm gonna be like, "doctor, I need you to examine me. I need you to remove my garments." Nah… I'm just playin'. My doctor's cute, though. For real. I'm just gonna show some cleavage or somethin'.

–Jamaica, Queens

Woman on phone: She wants to be a doctor. She likes it when the guts fall out. (pause) No, she wouldn't do that. She's too lazy to be a serial killer.

–Fox Newsroom, 6th & 48th

Overheard by: Newsbunny