Red-headed boy: I like your nose.
Brunette girl: Okay.
Red-headed boy: It's like “ah! I'm a nose!”
–R Train
Red-headed boy: I like your nose.
Brunette girl: Okay.
Red-headed boy: It's like “ah! I'm a nose!”
–R Train
20-something girl #1: What's wrong with the German language? What have you got against German?
20-something girl #2: Nothing, I just really need a drink.
–R Train
Woman, demonstrating American Sign Language: Meaning is so dependent on the duration of the sign. This (makes gesture) means “thirst,” but this (makes gesture) means “lust.”
Man: I guess it depends on what kind of fluid you want.
–1 Train
Average 20-something woman: So they ordered from that Chinese place for lunch.
Too-skinny 20-something: Isn't that the third time this week?
Average 20-something woman: I don't understand the fascination with eating from the same place three times a week.
Too-skinny 20-something: I don't understand the fascination with eating a meal three times a week.
–L Train
Overheard by: Rina
Loud woman on cell: And then he had the nerve to ask me if it was cause he's black! I was like, "it's not cause you're black, it's cause you slept with that stripper!"
–Starbucks
Midwestern grandmother, seeing granddaughter play on subway: She's working on her pole dancing, just like her mother.
–E Train
Young Asian guy, telling stripper what he does for a living: Do you even know what a hedge fund is?
–Strip Club, Queens
Thug to girlfriend, pointing at totem pole in museum: You know what those be? Fancy stripper poles! (makes techno music noise with his mouth)
–Museum of Natural History
Blonde chick on cell: Oh my god, Mike, just fuck her and get over yourself, I really don't care! (hangs up, to friend) I don't understand why my boyfriend keeps calling me asking me if it would break my heart if he slept with the stripper we met at the bar on Saturday.
–NYU
Overheard by: i wish i had me a girl like that
Serious, tired, cute guy on cell: So you remember the stripper that has been hassling me? Well, I went out with her and her girlfriend on Tuesday, and stuff got out of hand… really out of hand–like Budapest out of hand! (pause) I don't know, but I woke up in fucking New York City!
–Penn Station
Thug teenager to woman shoving umbrella between doors to keep them open: Shit, woman! You'd best pull that umbrella out. This ain't no number train, we will leave yo ass!
–R Train
Very excited middle-aged woman hearing doo-wop singers board train: Woooo! Music train!
–R Train
Overheard by: astoria mets fan
Girl on subway car looking at subway map: What, there's no "you are here"?
–A Train
Overheard by: Rins
20-something girl: Ugh, I hate the subway. They need to, like, invent a, like, above-ground transportation system!
–6 Train
Man walking onto train, slowly: All the premium seats are taken.
–A Train
Overheard by: glad i'm in first class
Gay guy: You know what's so cute, is Europe.
–Mott & Prince
Overheard by: Anna P.
College girl to friend: And I'm like "No, you can't chew on the couch. You can't have couch for breakfast." (pause) But what about you, are there any cute guys in your dorm?
–Downtown 1 Train
Girl on phone: Oh-h-h-h my gawd, girl, you don't even know! And then he goes "Damn, girl you in Delta Gamma? Nothing goes down faster than an anchor!" And then I was just like "Shut up!" but I did it anyways, I mean… he was cute.
–Gates to Fordham University
Man on cell picking through garbage can and walking away with trash in hand: Oh my god, I just found the cutest belt in a trash can! Honestly, the things people throw away!
–118th St & Amsterdam Ave
Gay guy marching in protest to another: The guys in this protest are much cuter than at the last protest I attended.
–63rd St & Broadway
Catholic schoolgirl #1: And that would hurt a lot more because my boobs are swollen because I'm getting my period.
Catholic schoolgirl #2: You just announced that to the entire train…
Catholic schoolgirl #1: Well, you're the one who was gonna hit it!
–F Train
Overheard by: Amanda
Girl #1: When I was pregnant I was addicted to eating deodorant.
Girl #2: Damn, girl, that's just wrong!
Girl #1: It was so bad I couldn't even see my man in prison cause I couldn't go that long without some deodorant. Secret was good, but I didn't like that Dove shit. Sometimes I'd have to test that stuff out in the store. I'm all takin' a little lick, puttin' it back if I don't like it.
Girl #2: Shit girl, you're crazy.
–6 Train
Round white lady: Once with my cousin, Ned.
Stringy-haired white lady: Well, we don't count cousins in my home town.
Round white lady: So what if your uncle is your cousin?
Stringy-haired white lady: I suppose ain't no laws in West Virginia 'gainst that, neither.
–A Train
Overheard by: Raven L.
