High school student: You know, you're the only black guy I've met who isn't an asshole.
Friend: I'm not black.
–R Train
High school student: You know, you're the only black guy I've met who isn't an asshole.
Friend: I'm not black.
–R Train
20-something fashionista #1: If it weren't for Red Bull I don't know if I'd still be in college, girl.
20-something fashionista #2: Yeah, I know, girl… But if you take two, girl, it gives you diarrhea.
20-something fashionista #1: Yeah…
–L Train
Overheard by: ~LaLa~
Queer: I hate Mexicans, first they jump our borders, then they don't even attempt to speak English.
Tan chick: Fo' reals! I've met some that have been here their entire lives and never bothered to learn English.
Crazy man: Oh my god! Why do you have to be so goddam racist all the time!?
Tan chick: What? I was just making a point, goddammit, I am Mexican!
(five minutes later)
Black lady: Yo! D'shaun! Get yo' ass over here nigga!
Crazy man: I hate black people! They're so goddamn loud, they need to shut up!
–L Train
Overheard by: shocked
Black teenage girl #1: They're always fighting and everything! Bunch of sorry-ass boyfriends we got!
Black teenage girl #2: Like they all proud of their scars 'n shit.
Black teenage girl #3: I think we oughtta do the Lysistrata thing!
Black teenage girl #1: Say what?
Black teenage girl #3: (whispers something to friend)
Black teenage girl #1: Oh, I could never do that!
–Downtown 2 Train
Guy: You know, with that blue polo, you look exactly like Billy Mays. Say, “OxiClean.”
Bearded guy, yelling: Billy Mays here for OxiClean! Wait, no. (clears throat) Billy Mays here…
–E Train
Overheard by: pete
Asian fag to white hag: So if a natural disaster happened and Long Island had to be evacuated, we'd, like, all be screwed!
–2 Train
Overheard by: Kosi
Woman on cell: You all should come to Long Island. They're fucking civilized over there.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Smitten Kitten
Hipster on cell, suddenly yelling: Mom, I live in New York City, not Long Island! New York City! Get a map. I live in New York City.
–Greenpoint
20-something blonde on cell: Uh… Long Island… that's on the East Side, right?
–John St & Cliff St
Overheard by: BennyP
Jersey girl to Long Island guys: Oh my god! I've never been to Long Island! I'll need rockstar directions! Oh, and I totally have camel toe!
–51st & 6th
Overheard by: Fanx 4 that
Crazy preacher man: Look up! You see that ball in the sky? It's not the sun. It's hell!
–Times Square
Subway preacher: Someone is gonna drive your car to your funeral, wearing your bling bling.
–Downtown A Train
Street bible pusher: Don't wait for the asteroids to rain down on you! Asteroids are heading this way now!
–6th Ave & 32nd St
Random crazy dude: Repent, all ye sinners! Get your ass to Genesis!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: LiD
Street preacher handing out bible verses: Jesus saves! Jesus saves! (to suit walking by) Not you! There's nothing good about you!
–8th Ave below 23rd St
Girl: So then I said "mother, I am 20 years old and you cannot tell me I can't go to Wet 'n Wild!"
–Central Park
Overheard by: Quella
Weird chick: Eeeeek! That toilet is flooding! My Payless shoes are getting wet! My beautiful Payless shoes! All this water looks like that movie, The Blob! Oh, I hate you, Steve McQueen! I hate you, I hate you!
–Women's Restroom, Port Authority
Overheard by: Amber Star
Drunk girl to drunker friend who spilled beer on her lap: Again with the vaginal wetness?
–LIRR
Guy to a girl in laundromat: Why can't you dry your underwear? Is that because they're so used to being wet when you're wearing them?
–1st. Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: Mike
Girl to boy: So about this whole wet dream thingy…
–C Train
Girl wearing yoga outfit to friend: And I'm like "you know that your face looks like a fucking cartoon character, don't you?"
–Houston & Mott
Overheard by: JohnJayinNYC
Teen boy: I don't like people. I just like Pokemon.
–Chipotle, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mike N
Blipster: Girl, you know I already got a headache and then she all up in my face with that Dragon Ball Z breath.
–Fulton & Pearl
Girl, during promo network commercial before Up: It is not Cartoon Network if there are real people. I refuse to watch this show.
–Movie Theatre, Battery Park
Overheard by: Yelena
Excited man on cell: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? What are they? People love ancient Egypt way more than ninja turtles.
–Hungarian Pastry Shop
Overheard by: Casey Black
Scruffy hipster to friend: Now all we need to do is find Splinter and Donatello.
–L Train
Overheard by: lilli
Red-headed boy: I like your nose.
Brunette girl: Okay.
Red-headed boy: It's like “ah! I'm a nose!”
–R Train
