Suit #1: Oh hey, how did dinner with Karen go the other night?
Suit #2: Oh man, she is so hot. She looks like…like a golden retriever. Too bad she has a boyfriend.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Have been told I look like a Burmese cat
Suit #1: Oh hey, how did dinner with Karen go the other night?
Suit #2: Oh man, she is so hot. She looks like…like a golden retriever. Too bad she has a boyfriend.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Have been told I look like a Burmese cat
Dude with chick to group of smokers outside bar: We are going to eat pork chops and fuck.
–Bleecker and Crosby
Gay male on cell: …Do you really think I would try his sausage balls?
–53rd St & 8th Ave
Budget Vin Diesel: I love bacon. If I could, I would put bacon in my cereal.
–Sunburnt Cow, Avenue C
Overheard by: LeahPia77
Hispanic deli worker: Es muy barato, como la carne de gato.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Anna Pilar
Black man, to Jewish friend: You’re not Jewish. You had bacon at your baby’s naming ceremony. Thickest, juiciest most delicious bacon I ever ate in my life. You named your kid Samuel and you had bacon. Delicious, delicious bacon.
–A Train
Man on cell phone: The sausages! I mean, I don’t feel bad for the hot dogs. But, the sausages?!
–41st and 7th
Overheard by: Justin
Hot girl: I feel really really bad.
Sarcastic gay friend: Your conscience about sleeping with married guys catching up to you?
Hot girl: No, it's that stupid Mexican food you made me eat. I wanna puke.
–6 Train
Overheard by: In Shock
Chubby girl #1: See the girl in this James Bond poster? If my face got a little skinnier, that haircut would look hot on me.
Chubby girl #2: I'm not sure your face will ever be that skinny again…
–E Train
HS boy #1: How do you spell “toll”?
HS girl: T-O-L-L.
HS boy #2: Like “pay a toll”?
HS boy #1: Like “take a toll on a nigga.”
–F train
Overheard by: Miss B
Girl #2: You’re so right! She does kind of look like a Tyrannosaur!
Girl #1: Oh my god, you’re so mean.
Girl #2: What? You said it first.
Girl #1: I said: “She kind of looks like a tennis player.”
Girl #2: Um, oh. Oops.
–1 Train
Overheard by: ouch.
Headline by: James
Runners-Up:
· “Either Way, She Makes Quite a Racket” – DotTim
· “I Always Get Lesbians and Giant Man-Eating Lizards Confused.” – L.J.
· “If It’s Martina Navratilova, They’re Both Right.” – Brady
· “It’s the Way She Devoured the Competition” – Markle9
· “Serenasaur or Venusaur?” – Matt
· “With the Racket and the Tiny Arms, It Could Really Go Either Way.” – Rosie
Conductor: We’re going to be held at this station shortly.
Woman, yelling: What do you mean we’re gonna be held in the station shortly?!
Conductor: Woman! I said we’re gonna be held here shortly!
–R train
Father: So, what did you guys do at Timmy’s* sleepover?
Boy: I don’t really remember… We had one too many milkshakes.
–1 train
Guy: You know, they’re giving away money on the T train for being nice.
Bimbette: What?
Guy: The T train — they’re giving away money to people who are nice.
Bimbette: Who are?
Guy: The T train.
Bimbette: How can a train give away money?
Guy: Not the train. The people — the train people.
Bimbette: Why would they give away money?
Guy: To encourage people to be nice. They give it to people who do nice things.
Bimbette: Nice things?
Guy: Yeah, like holding open the door, letting someone have your seat — nice things.
Bimbette: How can they just give away money?
Guy: It’s not actual money. They’re gift certificates to Dunkin’ Donuts.
Bimbette: What’s a donut?
Guy: Are you fucking kidding me?
–A train
Overheard by: this imaginary train you speak of sounds nice
New Yorker: Are you a farmer?
Tourist: Noooo. I went to Ranch Camp, but I’m not a farmer.
–F Train
