Woman: I need to pick up my child from daycare, where would she be?
Security guard: What age group?
Woman: I think she’s one.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Woman: I need to pick up my child from daycare, where would she be?
Security guard: What age group?
Woman: I think she’s one.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, there is a smoke condition at Chambers Street. We will be delayed pulling into 42nd Street.
Teen boy: What the fuck is a smoke condition? My mom has a smoke condition. Subways don’t.
–1 train
Young teen girl: I've done cybersex so often I forgot how to type with two hands.
–A Train
Suit on cell: I have nothing to blog about. I have nothing to video blog about. Man, yesterday I had to force myself to tweet!
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: cowgirly
Girl selling peaches to another: Yeah, my dad was so unsympathetic when I told him my computer crashed that I went straight to the Apple store and charged a new hard drive to his credit card. I was really proud of myself.
–Fort Greene Farmers Market
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Teenage girl to friend: I don't see why we're even here. We could see all this stuff on the internet for free.
–Metropolitan Museum
Overheard by: Derek
Girl on cell: So I asked my doorman if I brought anyone home with me last night and he said he didn’t know! I told him it’s his job to know!
–Outside 145th subway station
Hipster girl: Santa is a man whore!
–45th & 8th
College girl: And then we’re having what I thought was a nice one night stand, and then, he’s all like "what are you doing?"
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: silvver
Indian girl: I need to up my sex number. I either wanna sleep with a professor or a celebrity. (long pause) Wait! Professors are like celebrities!
–72nd and Amsterdam
Overheard by: Vincent
Teen girl to friend: … And then my mom said to me "don’t be a ho."
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lotte
Girl: She is such a fuckin’ slut. (Pause, then indignantly) How you gonna sleep with someone for four dollars?
–Bergen and Smith
Little boy: Ow!
Harried-looking mother: What?
Little boy: My ovaries hurt.
–N Train
Police officer to taxi driver: If you just hit one, the rest will scatter.
–Herald Square
Guy to girl, pushing her into the street: Anna versus car, who will win?
–E Houston & Ave D
Overheard by: haha
Tourist to New Yorker: You're not supposed to jaywalk!
–Herald Square
Chick to another: We didn't get hit by a car… Oh well, maybe next time.
–7th & 23rd
Overheard by: Stormy
Guy with stroller to passing car: You hit my baby, I'll take your car!
–Fordham & Hoffman
Overheard by: sromeo
Crossing guard, watching pedestrian cross in a hurry: My money's on the bus!
–Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Steve
High school kid: I’m thinking of staying in the city for school.
Friend: Really?
High school kid: Yeah, I kinda want to stay in my apartment.
Friend: Oh, I thought it would be to party or something. Why would you want to live at home?
High school kid: Oh, don’t worry, I’m going to kick my mom out first.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: courtney
Eight-year-old son: Dad, I can’t even tell the Ninja Turtles apart! They all look the same, they just have different bandages and stuff.
Dad: Well, do you know their names?
Son: Uhhh… There’s the blue one… Armadillo?
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: hero in a half shell
Teen boy: Wow, look, my feet are bigger than yours!
Dad: So what? My dick is bigger than yours!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Sarah
Girl #1: My mom is obsessed with tv. When she was pregnant with me and her water broke, she waited until Moonlighting was over before she left for the hospital. I'm even named after a tv character.
Girl #2: Natasha?
Girl #1: Yeah, you know, from Rocky and Bullwinkle?
Girl #2: Why didn't she just name you Bullwinkle?
–LIRR
