(a guy is selling brightly colored books titled How to Roll a Blunt for Dummies)
Five-year-old kid: Mommy, whats that book about???
Mother (flustered and pushing him away): Umm…umm…uhhh… Honey, not all books are educational!
–Penn Station
(a guy is selling brightly colored books titled How to Roll a Blunt for Dummies)
Five-year-old kid: Mommy, whats that book about???
Mother (flustered and pushing him away): Umm…umm…uhhh… Honey, not all books are educational!
–Penn Station
Baby thug: Why do you yell at me so loud when you're angry?
Mama thug: I never yell at you when I'm angry.
Baby thug: But, mama, you always yell at me so loud when you're angry.
Mama thug: Yeah, I do. It's because I'm so angry.
–Sunset park, Brooklyn
(toddler in stroller gleefully tosses mangoes from display on floor)
Older brother: No! Stop it! (picks up mangoes as toddler keeps pushing them off display) Stop! We're not buying those!
(mom looks the other way)
Cashier: Ma'am, your child is dropping the mangoes.
Mom: I know.
Cashier: But..
Mom: I know, my son's rude.
Cashier: But the other customers…
Mom: He does this all the time, you should come to my house and
see what he does.
–Gourmet Garage, 96th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Mark
Little girl: Please?
Father: I'm not paying attention to you.
Little girl: Pleeeeeeease? Do you want me to cry? I'll cry. Do you want me to cry, daddy? (holds up stuffed owl) Just get this for me and I'll be happy, please?
–Gift Shop, Museum of Natural History
Mom: Give me my phone.
Son: Photo?
Mom: No, you cannot take a picture.
Son (sticking phone in the butt of his pants): Please.
Mom: No, it's too loud. At home…
–NJ Transit
Rich girl #1: What are you going to do when your parents cut you off?
Rich girl #2: Move to Brooklyn.
–West Village
20-something guy: You know, it's like people hate me for having money. But it's like, my parents worked *really* hard for that money, and they worked for it for *me*. So I deserve it.
20-something girl: Yeaaah. I know.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ladle & Jen
Woman to male teacher: I thought you were a middle aged Latino woman.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Alex and Colin
Chubby Latino: I don't want to go there. It'll just be a bunch of angry Dominicans throwing tables.
–Cooper Park, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Drunken lady, sitting uninvited at a Hispanic family table: Cinco cuatro cinco… en Chicago. I have a business at 545 Chicago. In Chicago. I am a successful woman. Stay in school, sweetie. Learn your math and arithmetic… Yes, your math, and your arithmetic. And be good to your mommy. You only have one mommy, so be good to her. Alright, ciao, guys. Adios, coco! What? A cab? No, no, I'm fine.
–Pio Pio Restaurant, 91st & 1st
Overheard by: HJWC
Hasidic Jew answering cell: Hola? Hola? Hola!
–30 Rock
Overheard by: Micky
Bespectacled man on cell, walking a dog: And I owe it all to the politically incorrect Frito Bandito.
–Bryant Park
(very pretty girl waiting for the cross light to change)
Crazy old man: Yum, you sure are pretty.
(no response)
Crazy old man (excited now): Yummy! I like them pretty ones.
(pretty girl hisses at him and walks away)
Tourist dad to little girl: See, darling? That's how you handle those situations.
–Broadway & Houston
Kid: Mom, can I get some water?
Mom: No.
Kid: I'm thirsty, mom! I'm gonna get a seizure!
–77th St & Broadway
