Girl in bathroom stall: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!
Girl by sink: What?
Girl in bathroom stall: I just flushed the toilet because there was blue stuff in it and it splashed everywhere! I just saw that there's poo in the blue stuff!
Girl by sink: Gross! Did it get on you?
Girl in bathroom stall: It splashed my butt! Someone else's poo splashed my butt!
–Regal Cinemas, Union Square
Lady to dog: Pee! Pee! Pee! Poo on the universe!
–E 9th St
Overheard by: Jen
Well-dressed woman to little dog: Baby, those are cars. Cars are not our friends. You must always stay away from them… Are you listening to me?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Murphy
Woman, shrieking at barking dogs: Stop being crazy!
–Central Park
Overheard by: NB
Woman to Shih Tzu: Yo! I'm walking you, you're not walking me–calm down!
–109 & Manhattan Ave
Dog walker to dog, ranting: Bailey, I am so angry with you! (dog wags tail) Don't you even look at me right now! (yanks dog's leash) I'm taking the television out of your room! No more American Idol for you! (storms across street)
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: allison
Woman to dog sniffing random things: Focus. Fo-cus. Shit.
–Melrose & Wilson
Overheard by: richhorner.com
Guy #1: You know when you have to take the kind of dump when you have to take your shirt off?
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: It was like that.
–Ave A & St. Mark's
Girl to guy, over walkie-talkie phone: Okay, I'm going to the bathroom and I'll be right down.
Friend: What happened to being ladylike and shit? Telling us she's going to the bathroom!
–125th St & Broadway
Mom to little boy: Did you go number two?
Boy: I did! It was so little!
–Train, Grand Central
Overheard by: He has so little to get excited about.
Tween girl with whiskers painted on face: Did you hear what happened?
Tween friend: No, what?
Tween girl with whiskers painted on face: She pooped in a cup!
(both laugh hysterically)
–Bleecker & Mercer
Overheard by: sunny day.
Guy: So then he put my Speedo on his head and I was like “Dude! That was from the dirty basket!”
Girl: Gross! Did he get pink eye?
Guy: No?
Girl: I heard that if you get poop in your eye you get pink eye.
Guy: I don't poop in my Speedo!
–Times Square
Overheard by: oh?
Boy stumbling in: Yo, then I pulled out…and she shit on my foot.
Friend: Was she hot, though?
Boy: She was 200…180 pounds. Whatever…whatever floats your boat, am I right?
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: CMAC ATTACK
Girl, to herself: What if my water breaks in an elevator? (laughs) Akwaaaaard!
–High School
Conductor, after announcement tone: By the way, this is not an elevator. Waving your bag in the door does absolutely nothing.
–6 Train
Overheard by: you tell 'em
Middle-aged woman, pushing "up" elevator button to another pushing "down" button: You know, I could never figure it out with elevators, do you press the button to tell the elevator to come to you, or do you press it to tell it where you want to go?
–Building, Midtown
Overheard by: Delish
Older usher at Empire State Building: Please step out of the elevator. And as Beyonce says, to the left. To the left!
–Empire State Building
Lady on cell, waiting in line: Oh really? Well, I had heard someone took a crap in a Manhattan elevator!
–Supermarket, The Bronx
