It's High Noon on Wednesday One-Liners' Sun Dials

Girl to boyfriend: Your idea of romance is an 8-ball and trying to get a hard-on!

–12th & Broadway

Preppy girl: Nothing turns me on like carbon monoxide!

–Lucky Jack's

Overheard by: Argopelter

Excited suit: He came out of the womb with a woody!

–1st Ave & 10th

Overheard by: moodle

Girl on cell: I heart you like an erection!

–34th & 2nd

Jock/pretty boy: Dude, I don't know why but she'd always give me boners in the middle of class.

–St Marks & 2nd Ave

Chick: It's all erections and prostates, erections and prostates! Could we have our check, please?

–Arctica Bar & Grill, 3rd Ave & 27th St

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on September 2, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Erections, Girlfriends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Jocks, Lower East Side, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Preppies, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Suits, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

…So I'll Ask Their Names First.

Preppy white girl, about friend's shirt: I wanna party like a rock star!
Punk guy friend: So you want to play a show, shoot up heroin, fuck a stranger, then do it all again in another state the next night?
Preppy white girl: I don't wanna fuck strangers!

–Queensboro Plaza

Overheard by: diex-romantic

Posted on October 16, 2010
Celebrations/Parties, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Heroin, Music, Preppies, Promiscuity, Punks, Queens, Subway stations, platforms, etc., White People, Wishes & desires

Dude, He's Twelve!

Young son: Daddy, look! It's a doggy!
Preppy father: Yeah, it's a dog, son. Give it a break.
Bystander: Father of the year!

–Union Square

Overheard by: likes dogs

Posted on August 13, 2010
Dads, Kids, Man's Best Friend, Parents, Preppies, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

The Non-Standard Usage Of Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: There's a lot bruacracy in public social work…

–Eastern Parkway & New York Ave

Overheard by: jeff

Woman on phone: Her mother is a bird. Her whole family is a flock of birds. I cannot even say how ghetto she is. She said, "columinate." I said, what? You mean "a-coom-a-late?

–1 Train

Preppy on cell: What's your next class? Professional rioting?

–Fordham

Girl: This class is skewered. There are only three guys and like twenty girls. Damn!

–Brooklyn College

Overheard by: Phil

Guy to girl on train: She's just like "huh, brutha." It's like, embedded in them. They were breaded that way.

–7 Train

Posted on August 11, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Brooklyn College, Education, Family Ties, Fordham, Girls, Government, Gripes, Guys, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Passengers, Politics, Preppies, Questions, School and studying, Sexuality, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Women, Words

I Think It's Screen-printed on an Ironic T-shirt Somewhere

Preppy girl, confused: Where are we right now?
Preppy guy: I don't even know.
Preppy girl: Where is the heart of Williamsburg? Is there even a heart of Williamsburg?

–The Brooklyn Kitchen, Williamsburg

Posted on July 16, 2010
Directions, NYC Geography, Preppies, Questions, Williamsburg

Notice That Little Puddle on the Floor?

Out-of-place preppy: Hey, I think that's Grace. Isn't that Grace, dude? Grace! Grace!
Not Grace: Nope, sorry. It's Beth, actually. (keeps walking)
Not Grace's girlfriend: You know, you didn't have to tell them your real name.
Not Grace: I know, I just got excited.

–2nd Ave

Overheard by: Also Not Grace.

Posted on June 20, 2010
Girlfriends, Manhattan, Names, Preppies, Strangers, Street, Stupidity

It's Bloody Hell!

Preppy blonde: So like, you know how it kinda hurts when your tampon gets too full?
Flamboyantly gay friend: Oh, yeah, I hate that.

–A Train

Posted on May 24, 2010
Friends, Gender issues, Gripes, Menstruation, On the Subway, Preppies, Queer guys

Much As I Love the United Negro Pizza Fund

Hobo, approaching preppy teens: Hey do y'all have some money so I could repair the motor on my giant helicopter?
Preppy teenage girl: Uh, sure.
Preppy teenage boy: Yeah, only because that's the coolest fucking reason ever.

–7th Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: Horchata

Posted on March 16, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Gadgets, Hobos, Money & Class, Panhandling, Preppies, Teens, The Village

Ten Bucks Says She Goes Home and Tweets Excitedly About the Rude New Yorker

20-something tourist chick, screaming: I love New York!
20-something preppy black guy: Well, it doesn't love you back, so shut the fuck up.

–7th Ave & W 55th St

Overheard by: KC

Posted on February 19, 2010
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Black People, Comebacks, Insults, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Only in New York, Preppies, Tourism, Tourists

The NYC Answer to “What Time Is It?” Is “Go Fuck Yourself”

50-year-old man with limited teeth: Do you know what time it is?
Attractive young preppy girl: Quarter to four.
50-year-old man with limited teeth: It's a quarter til I make sweet love to you.

–R Train

Overheard by: The mind boggles

Posted on December 31, 2009
Men, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Preppies, Questions, Sex, Time

Preppies