Small blonde woman, pointing at pink enamel elephant pin for sale: That's cute.
Shopping companion: Yeah, do we know any Republicans with either breast cancer or the DTS?
–Housing Works, Hudson & 10th St
Small blonde woman, pointing at pink enamel elephant pin for sale: That's cute.
Shopping companion: Yeah, do we know any Republicans with either breast cancer or the DTS?
–Housing Works, Hudson & 10th St
High school girl: She banged some dude with no condom during her period, then she blew another guy after the basketball game.
–Panera, Queens
Overheard by: NBG1
Teen: My health teacher always yells at me for being late. Shouldn't she be, like, sustaining my self-esteem?
–Green Apple Cafe
Overheard by: Julie
Hippie teenager leaving bathroom: When I see you all later, I will not have any idea who the hell you are!
–Nokia Theater, Times Square
Overheard by: dan
Teenage girl to cute guy, after spitting on door window: I have a bad habit of spittin'.
–E Train
Overheard by: MrsBall
Teenager to crying little brother: Shut up! Stop it or I'll take away your ShamWow!
–Times Square
Overheard by: JYC
Teenage boy on cell: I won't cock-block! (pause) I won't cock-block!
–E 77th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Steve G
Girl to friend: Yeah, so before I came in here I wasn't a vegetarian, but now my expectations have changed.
–New Williamsburg Cafe
Overheard by: Nick Ace
Jenny*: When I say that I'm a vegan, the other Jenny, the little Texan Jenny inside of me goes, "you are so disgusting!"
–Tisch School of the Arts
Overheard by: Southern Carnivore
White flyer lady, singing: Peeeeople! Veeeegans have bet-ter-sex, bet-ter-health, and live decades longer to enjoy it all!
–LaSalle & Broadway
Wannabe vegan on cell: Is applesauce vegan?
–Denny's
Guy: You know how vegetarians say they won't eat anything with a face? So what about that woman that got attacked by the chimp? Would they eat her? (stunned silence) Too soon?
–Steinway & Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: Go Rangers!
Elderly woman to elderly man, as a young girl narrowly escapes getting hit by a car: Oh my god, what is it with these crazy people!? I hate this city more and more each day.
Elderly man: Well then, why do you live here?
Elderly woman: Because I love it.
–83rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Dee Dee
Girl: Do you think Africans take antidepressants?
Guy: I really don't like you.
–L Train
Girl: I can't decide if I should wear my hair up or down. (friend nods) I mean, you know when you have to make, like…decisions?
–Bathroom, Columbia University
Very white middle-school boy, yelling to friends: He say yo' momma got a cheap-ass weave!
–87th & Lexington
Girl with huge curly hair: You see I, ugh…randomly wake up reaching up to feel, and see if my hair is still there. Then my subconscious is like "wait! Am I breathing?" Oh yes. I'm breathing!
–Chat N Chew Restaurant
Young teen guy to girlfriend: You see, I got hairline issues. You know, 'cuz when you get older, your hair follicles increase and your hair is less. I'm not used to my hair. It used to be here (points to his forehead), but now it's here. (points to the same place on his forehead) I got hairline issues.
–4 Ttrain
Overheard by: Megz
Nanny, adjusting ward's ponytail: If I fall, I'm taking your hair with me.
–5 Train
Suit on cell: You're stupid enough to swallow a condom but you're smart enough to know you can sue someone.
–69th & York
Overheard by: Eugene
Attractive tall Asian chick with purple hair on cell: There's no way I would be compatible with someone so much smarter than me.
–Joralemon & Columbia, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Awesome Mother Fucker
Effeminate young man to lady friend: I think you're street smart when nobody tells you you're street smart.
–C train
Father to son: You are so smart. You are going to be the leader of a cult someday.
–Thompson & Spring
Guy, refusing to hold on to train pole: I'm trying to see how stupid I can really be.
–7 Train
Overheard by: jj
Train conductor: Next stop, 42nd. If you want to transfer to the e, I think it's running on the r, so get off next stop and walk to the r line. Don't be an idiot and wait for a train that ain't coming. Get off at 42nd and go to the r line.
–A Train
Overheard by: Amy
Chubby girl, passionately arguing on cell: I really believe Fabio is so not stupid. (pause) Seriously! He just has trouble…um…communicating.
–Outside Educational Housing Services, Clark & Henry
Overheard by: Blue Steel
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we have an idiot on board. He knows who he is.
–N Train
Girl: He's so awkward. He's a wallflower that stands in the middle of the room.
Guy: Yeah, he's awkward.
–109th & Central Park West
Headline by: Ron D.
Runners-Up:
· “Al Gore Gets Few Invitations” – Coyoty
· “Everyone Wishes Carrot Top Would Retire” – Emily Leonard
· “How It All Began: Hitler at His First Bar Mitzvah” – Nick Pollotta
· “She Realized Shortly Thereafter She Was Talking to a Parrot” – amp
· “That Is Just Jacob Dylan” – Bigwb
Girl: Yeah, I'm pretty sure he has amnesia.
Friend: I guess that explains why he's falling asleep all the time!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Bernard
