Father: Look at that! They list the number of calories that the food has. Ha! Who needs to know that, anyway?
Daughter, ten seconds later: Some people!
–Citifield Stadium
Overheard by: astoria mets fan
Father: Look at that! They list the number of calories that the food has. Ha! Who needs to know that, anyway?
Daughter, ten seconds later: Some people!
–Citifield Stadium
Overheard by: astoria mets fan
Boy on street with basketball to car honking horn non-stop: Shut up!
Girl walking by: Well done! I love New York.
–Flushing, Queens
Drunk guy: I summon all the single ladies to my personal sleeping quarters. Somebody come up here and kiss me! I'm an outstanding kisser and an excellent swing dancer! Girls, boys, hermaphrodites, I don't care!
Drunk guy's friend: If you think this is bad, you should've seen him at the Billy Joel concert… He peed on my foot.
Drunk guy: Only because you were wearing sandals!
–Citi Field Stadium
Elderly lady to coughing woman sitting across the room: Do you have something in your throat? Cuz I could slap it out for you.
–Doctor's Waiting Room
Old lady to pharmacy tech: Yeah, I always have an ice cream cone when I see the truck. It's such a nice treat. (pauses) Plus, you never know–this could be my last one.
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Queens Newsbunny
Very old frail-looking woman leaving crowded train: Goddamned people and their fucking backpacks!
–6 Train
Old man on cell: Hello? (pause) I'm at the crack shack. (pause) Well, you look like a raccoon. (pause) This is the first I've been outside all year!
–Madison Square Park
Old Jewish woman, in Russian: My grandchildren are total fucks.
–Coney Island
Black guy on cell: Broadway is all gays and Jews and frankly I am sick of it.
–47th St & 8th
Jewish son: I did not call the rabbi to have him check up on you!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: NosyMormon
Suit on cell: Oh yes, I know all about you. You do crazy things. You eat rice on Pesach.
–Fancy Restaraunt, 79th St
Hobo: I bet if I put up a sign that said "hungry Jew," I'd be getting a ton of money thrown at me.
–98th St & Broadway
Old Jewish woman, exiting store with young woman: I know it's silly, but it was German. They killed six million Jews in Germany. I don't like to buy things that were made in Germany.
–Queens
20-something girl to friend: That Jew laid the spank on her!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Teenage girl: I'm so happy! Nick* friended me on Facebook!
Teenage boy: That's because he was high.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Guy #1, watching man bleeding on pavement: Dude, we should help that guy.
Guy #2: Forgetaboutit.
Guy #1: Ha! You're so right! I love New York.
–Queens
20-something girl: I mean, I can always sleep on top of him.
–Strawberry's, Queens Centre Mall
Overheard by: i like that option…
Man to friend: I keep having dreams about being with other women, and I've never had them before. I think it must be the time of year or something.
–Hudson River Park
Girl on cell: Well, he slipped me Ecstasy while I was sleeping…
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Guy on cell: That's awesome! (pause) That's awesome! (pause) Dude, that's like reverse Sleepaway Camp!
–27th & 2nd
Overheard by: liz
Nurse: I just want to stop having dreams of him saying "pap-smear pap-smear pap-smear…"
–Columbia University
Overheard by: p y l
Man, handing out newspaper to lady: You look special. (lady grabs it) Slim, I meant you look slim.
–Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: Brian H
Physics teacher: Who wants to read problem five?
Girl in front of room: Who wants to drink cyanide for breakfast?
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
