Passenger, getting on bus and not swiping Metrocard: I don't gotta swipe. It's all set.
Driver: Oh, yes you do. Christ himself come on, he gotta swipe.
–Q32 Bus, Queens
Overheard by: Your friendly neighborhood Newsbunny
Passenger, getting on bus and not swiping Metrocard: I don't gotta swipe. It's all set.
Driver: Oh, yes you do. Christ himself come on, he gotta swipe.
–Q32 Bus, Queens
Overheard by: Your friendly neighborhood Newsbunny
Street corner punk #1: Where did she say she lives?
Street corner punk #2: Yonkers.
Street corner punk #1: Yonkers? There's no place called “Yonkers”! She was playin' you, man.
Street corner punk #2: Whatchoo talkin' about, man? Yonkers is a city!
Street corner punk #2: Yeah right. There's also a city called “my balls.”
–Sutphin Blvd & 89th Ave, Jamaica
Overheard by: Big Larry
Thuggish Asian watching Cops in store window: Yo, the one without the shirt is always guilty.
–College Point
Teen girl on cell: I tried biting some people, I got arrested.
–R Train
Overheard by: Jon
Very loud and drunk crackhead to friend: I don't care who you are. Everybody goes to jail some time.
–Hoyt & Warren, Brooklyn
Pharmacist on phone: Oh my, is she okay? (pause) That's when you got arrested on the plane?
(pause) At Fort Dix!?
–Drugstore, 6th Ave
Overheard by: Transit161
Friend to another, yelling across street: Good luck with your rape case…I know it wasn't you!
–Centre & Grand
Overheard by: jzjmrdangerdowntown
Small boy, singing to himself: Goodbye, everybody say goodbye… To Chris Brown…'cuz he smacked a woman and he's going to jail.
–Barnard College
Middle school geography teacher: What do we rely on the ocean for?
Student, excitedly waving hand in the air: Crabs! The ocean gives me crabs!
Teacher, choking back a laugh: Maybe you should just say the ocean gives you fish…
–Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: I've never gotten crabs from an ocean
Punk girlfriend: What movie do you want to see?
Punk boyfriend: How about Definitely Maybe?
Punk girlfriend: I don't know…seems kinda chick-flicky.
–Austin St, Queens
Excited man on cell: Hey! Did you hear who died? Amanda's pretend husband died!
–N Train
Overheard by: Tophs
20-something woman to friend: Well, I wanna kill her and she wants to kill me, 'cause I took her husband.
–R Train
Overheard by: Tara
20-something hipster girl: I am a nihilist! Watch me die.
–Waverly & Mercer
Asian guy to white girl: All children are born evil. If they had the strength of an adult during childhood, they would kill someone just to get a lollipop.
–Queens College
Woman on cell: Okay! I get it. She's not a good person. Just kill her.
–Canal St & Laffaette St
Overheard by: Kay
Conductor: You're all gonna die! I'm your worst nightmare! Ahahahaha!
–C Train
Overheard by: P-Diddy
Cashier #1: I have jury duty on Friday, so I'm not coming in.
Cashier #2: Jury duty?
Cashier #1: Yeah, I have jury duty on Friday. But it's okay, cuz I'll get paid.
Cashier #2: But what's jury duty?
Cashier #1: It's when you go to court and send people to jail.
Cashier #2: You can get paid for that?
–Supermarket, Queens
Woman to husband in magazine section: Honey, I'm just going to run to the bathroom before I pay for all…
Husband, interrupting: Whatever. (to stranger) Ugh! Marriage. I have a son, too. It just gets worse and worse, doesn't it?
–Barnes & Noble, Bayside
Overheard by: sympathetic bookseller
Man walking in to immigration center to immigration security guard: You look very elegant today.
–Immigration Application Support Center, Queens
Lady: Oh my gosh, Casey looks so good! You would never know that he's blind!
–W 20th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Katie AK
Slightly tipsy elderly suit: Do you know where I can find a beautiful woman? Someone to spend the rest of my life with?
–Metropolitan Museum Info Desk
A Capella group leader, walking into train: Ladies and gentlemen, happy Thursday. We are a Doo Whop group and we are here to entertain you. If you like what you hear, show us some love. If you are miserable, hell, add more fiber to your diet. This Sunday, we will be saluting the best-looking people on the subway. Have a fiberrific day!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Em Allears
Ghetto black chick after someone took a picture of her: Did you get all the beautifulness?
–Saks Fifth Avenue
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Hipster #1: Carnival games…
Hipster #2: Carnival games.
Hipster #1: Rock 'n' roll…
Hipster #2: Rock 'n' roll.
Hipster #1: Flying cars…
Hipster #2: Flying cars.
Hipster #1: Drugs…
Hipster #2: Drugs.
Hipster #1: Rape…
Hipster #2: Rape.
Hipster #1: Murder…
Hipster #2: Murder.
–40th St & Queens Boulevard
Overheard by: ExcessStrausses
