There Are No Small Wednesdays– Only Small One-Liners.

Girl on cell, defiantly: Listen, I can keep my midget in your closet whenever I damn please!

–72nd & Columbus

Man handing out cards to random passers-by: They have midget strippers, buddy, and you can bring your guitar!

–42nd & 7th

Overheard by: Katy

Guy, to friend: You can't call yourself a grown man if you sit down and your feet dangle off the chair.

–Victoria's Secret

Overheard by: Emm

Black guy pushing cart: Man, I miss my two-headed midget friend… He was my best man.

–Union Square

Woman on cell: Have I been an angry little munchkin?

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: TheMac

Posted on August 12, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Friendship, Gay Man's Best Friend, Girls, Guys, Handicaps, Instruments, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Store, Strangers, Strippers, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Whole Foods, Women

A Gay Man Told Her about “Killer Shorts”

Blonde: So, where’d y’all go on vacation?
Brunette: Bermuda.
Blonde: And y’all came back alive?!

–Union Square

Posted on August 12, 2015
Bimbettes, Questions, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday Pick-Up-Liners

Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you.

–M116 Bus

Overheard by: I hate the bus

Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty!

–Allen & East Houston

Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free.

–33rd & Broadway

Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all.

–Times Square

Overheard by: yearbookie

Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you.

–South Williamsburg

Overheard by: DanielXY

Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees.

–Central Park

Posted on August 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Beauty, Black People, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Construction Guys, Friends, Gender issues, History & Geography, Hobos, Love, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nice People, Offers and requests, On the Bus, Orgy, Parks, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Relationships, Shopping, Street, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Weirdness, Williamsburg

Ooh, Awkward for Somebody, Huh?

Doctor #1: Who's taking care of [name of patient]?
Doctor #2: Not me, why?
Doctor #1: Nothing really, just that he's dead.

–Hospital, Manhattan

Overheard by: Lorenzo

Posted on August 12, 2015
Death, Doctors, Hospitals, Medicine, Questions

Oh My!

Kid: What's a safari?
Young mom: It's a trip you can take in Africa where you can see animals like lions and tigers, and… bears.

–Central Park Zoo

Overheard by: kinicke

Posted on August 11, 2015
Animals & Nature, Central Park, Kids, Moms, Parents, Parks, Questions, Stupidity, Travel, Words

What? I Read Lips.

Drunk ass guy #1: (mumbles something drunk)
Drunk ass guy #2: What?
Drunk ass guy #1: (mumbles something drunk again)
Drunk ass guy #2: I can't hear you…I have a lazy eye!

–Gym Bar, Chelsea

Posted on August 11, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Questions, Weirdness

Did You Skip Sex Education?

Hipster #1: Why are there so many pregnant women? I don't get it.
Hipster #2: Well, nine months ago was winter. When there's a blizzard, nine months later there's just babies everywhere.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: o!valencia

Posted on August 11, 2015
Babies, Hipsters, Penn Station, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Time, Weather

Maybe Those Guys in Ski Masks Took Them? Let's Go Smoke a Bowl

Employee #1: What happened to all those CD players in the corner?
Employee #2: Man, who the fuck cares?

–Union Square Circuit City

Overheard by: Wasn't Me

Posted on August 10, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Coworkers, Default, Questions, Store, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Like, New York's Technically a State Of Mind, Right?

College student with Boston accent: Yeah, I was reading this article in like Newsweek or something, that ranked the states from smartest to dumbest. Massachusetts was in the top ten.
College student with Miami accent: What about Florida?
College student with Boston accent: Florida was like, 47.
College student with Miami accent: Out of how many?

–NYU

Overheard by: Still Laughing

Posted on August 9, 2015
Compare/Contrast, News, NYU, Questions, Students, U.S. Geography

Questions