Black man yelling at poster of Seal with a Shar-Pei: A black dude and a dog? A black dude and a dog?! Man… That shit is fucked up! Cute white girls like dogs. Black men don’t like cute little dogs! Shiiit.
Chick: He’s married to a white supermodel, you know.
–Bus stop, 82nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Carol
Bimbette art student #1, pointing at fresh grapes: I don’t get why they call ‘olive-skinned’ people ‘olive-skinned’. No one’s skin is that color!
Bimbette art student #2, after closer inspection of fresh grapes: Yeah, but those olives look messed up, I think they’re fake. Real olives are, like, darker or something.
Bimbette art student #1: Yeah, those olives are too light, that’s it. No one’s skin is that color of… of light green.
Cashier: Uhm, are you ladies in line? Can I get you some… Grapes?
Bimbette art student #3: Yeah, those olives are totally fake, that must be it.
[Group leaves deli.]Cashier: Did that really just happen?
–27th & 5th
Black teen hipster #1: Why are there so many white people on the 2 train this late at night?
Black teen hipster #2: Please. All these white people are getting off at 96th Street.
Train stops at 96th. The white people leave the train.
Black Teen Hipster #2: Watch ’em all scamper away!
–2 train
White teenage boy to black teenage boy: She thinks I am a rapist or something.
(black teenage boy giggles) Which I am cool with, you know what I mean?
–Bay Ridge Ave & 4th Ave
Brunette Guido girl: Ohmigosh, you would love this girl, she's like, the only cool blonde person. This one time she was just like "Dude, can we just do the peace-and-love thing? Cause, I don't know how to fight."
–LIRR
Overheard by: whaaasgood
Fashion intern: I had swine flu last year, before it was cool.
–Cafeteria, Hearst Tower
Overheard by: interns are our future
Bike rider on phone, walking with girlfriend: I don't have his number, but you can call Tom* and go down there. Those guys are pretty cool. You can just go down there and give them a prostate massage.
–Riverside Park
Guard: Your key card doesn't work.
Teenager: It's because I'm black.
–Columbia University
Smart girl: Well, he needs to check with his partner to see if we can have dogs in the apartment.
Hot guy: So, do you think he's gay?
Smart girl: No! He's Spanish.
–Pelham Parkway & Cruger Ave, The Bronx
Overheard by: Dazed and Confused
White guy: You mean, you don’t find Mexicans sexy? Sexy Mexicans?
White girl: Shhh! They can hear you!
White guy: Sssexicans?
–N train
Overheard by: curry sprinkles
Principal: And can anyone tell me what is so significant about Barack Obama becoming president today?
Five-year-old: He's the first brown president.
–P.S. 290
Overheard by: TA who hears everything
Chubby girl on cell: Hello?! I’m getting a tattoo! What I need to know is: right butt cheek or left butt cheek?
–Elevator, Sulzberger Hall, Barnard College
Lady in cubicle on phone about daughter: She went from looking like a boy to J-Lo in three months, so she’s very busy shaking her booty — it’s raw, exposed estrogen.
–Wall Street
Man, to group of other men as thin passerby ignores them: Damn! Don’t she know it’s illegal for a black chick to have no ass?!
–2nd Ave & 3rd St
Overheard by: Ohiowatha
Attractive teen: My ex-boyfriend used to tell me that I couldn’t talk about anything that had to do with my ass. He was, like, anal about it and would say all the time, ‘Don’t you talk about your ass, it’s going to completely turn me off — I don’t want to hear about it.’
–2 train
Overheard by: Talia
Man on cell: I remember — we just got my rear end replaced.
–University
Overheard by: Asinine
Chick on cell: Eeyore’s butt — where is it?!
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Man on cell: And she said, ‘You’re pretty cute for a garbage man,’ and then she grabbed my ass.
–Hell’s Kitchen
Overheard by: Kat
Girl: Who was she with?
Hairdresser: I’m not, like, racist or anything, but she came with two guys, one was Puerto Rican and one was black!
–Supercuts, 3rd and 32nd
Overheard by: Joe
