You Won’t Be Laughing When the “Juicy” Diet Takes America by Storm

Drunk black woman #1: No, you gotta put cocoa butter on your legs and drink water. Water keeps your body juicy!
Drunk black woman #2: Jui-cy! Bam-bam!
Drunk black woman #1: That’s right, water keeps you juicy… [Sees young Asian woman smiling at them] Oooh, she know what I’m talkin’ about! She exotic… She an Asian girl.
Drunk black woman #2: Bam-bam!
Drunk black woman #1: Yeahhh… She know what I’m talkin’ about… Oh, shit, it’s our stop… Thank God, because I’m ’bout to squat down somewhere! [Both stagger off train.]

–1 train

Overheard by: amused

Posted on March 23, 2015
Advice, Black People, Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, Drunks, Food, On the Subway, Pee, Race, Talking/Convos

You’ll Get a Contact High

Son: Mom, can I go and see Santa?
Mom: You ain’t sittin’ your big black ass on some white Santa!

–Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: Confused white person

Posted on March 21, 2015
Ass, Black People, Holidays, Kids, Manhattan, Moms, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Race

That's Our Nation's President, Dad.

Drunk white man, pointing to random black guy: Hey, look: it's Puff Daddy!
Embarrassed daughter: Dad, that is not P. Diddy.
Drunk white man: Hey, Puff! Can I get a record deal? Hook a brother up!

–52nd & 7th

Posted on March 21, 2015
Dads, Drunks, Families, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Offers and requests, Parents, Race, Wiggers

Poor Guy

Black man yelling at poster of Seal with a Shar-Pei: A black dude and a dog? A black dude and a dog?! Man… That shit is fucked up! Cute white girls like dogs. Black men don’t like cute little dogs! Shiiit.
Chick: He’s married to a white supermodel, you know.

–Bus stop, 82nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Carol

Posted on March 19, 2015
Black People, Man's Best Friend, On the Bus, Race

That’s the Third Time This Week

Bimbette art student #1, pointing at fresh grapes: I don’t get why they call ‘olive-skinned’ people ‘olive-skinned’. No one’s skin is that color!
Bimbette art student #2, after closer inspection of fresh grapes: Yeah, but those olives look messed up, I think they’re fake. Real olives are, like, darker or something.
Bimbette art student #1: Yeah, those olives are too light, that’s it. No one’s skin is that color of… of light green.
Cashier: Uhm, are you ladies in line? Can I get you some… Grapes?
Bimbette art student #3: Yeah, those olives are totally fake, that must be it.
[Group leaves deli.]Cashier: Did that really just happen?

–27th & 5th

Posted on March 16, 2015
Bimbettes, Cashiers, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Default, Fakes, Friends, Fruit, Idiots, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Race, Students, Stupidity

Like They’re Afraid of a Crime Happening in a Primarily Black Neighborhood or Something

Black teen hipster #1: Why are there so many white people on the 2 train this late at night?
Black teen hipster #2: Please. All these white people are getting off at 96th Street.

Train stops at 96th. The white people leave the train.

Black Teen Hipster #2: Watch ’em all scamper away!

–2 train

Posted on March 15, 2015
Black People, Hipsters, History & Geography, Manhattan, NYC Geography, On the Subway, People, Places, Race, Teens, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People

Wednesdays Wish They Could Be More Like One-Liners

White teenage boy to black teenage boy: She thinks I am a rapist or something.
(black teenage boy giggles) Which I am cool with, you know what I mean?

–Bay Ridge Ave & 4th Ave

Brunette Guido girl: Ohmigosh, you would love this girl, she's like, the only cool blonde person. This one time she was just like "Dude, can we just do the peace-and-love thing? Cause, I don't know how to fight."

–LIRR

Overheard by: whaaasgood

Fashion intern: I had swine flu last year, before it was cool.

–Cafeteria, Hearst Tower

Overheard by: interns are our future

Bike rider on phone, walking with girlfriend: I don't have his number, but you can call Tom* and go down there. Those guys are pretty cool. You can just go down there and give them a prostate massage.

–Riverside Park

Posted on March 11, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Brooklyn, Clerks, Couples, Fashion, Guidos, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Private Parts, Race, Teens, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wiggers

Stupid Race Card

Guard: Your key card doesn't work.
Teenager: It's because I'm black.

–Columbia University

Posted on March 11, 2015
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Race, Security Guards, Stupidity, Teens

That's Not a Lisp, It's Castilian

Smart girl: Well, he needs to check with his partner to see if we can have dogs in the apartment.
Hot guy: So, do you think he's gay?
Smart girl: No! He's Spanish.

–Pelham Parkway & Cruger Ave, The Bronx

Overheard by: Dazed and Confused

Posted on March 6, 2015
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Man's Best Friend, Questions, Race, The Bronx

And We’re Off to the Racists

White guy: You mean, you don’t find Mexicans sexy? Sexy Mexicans?
White girl: Shhh! They can hear you!
White guy: Sssexicans?

–N train

Overheard by: curry sprinkles

Posted on March 4, 2015
Compliments, Default, Girls, On the Subway, Race, White People, Words