Hipster guy #1: Last night I started fighting with someone.
Hipster guy #2: Are you serious? I'm always fighting other people. Cause y'know, that's the only thing you can do besides kiss them.
Hipster guy #2: This one time I accidentally kissed someone and I was like “eewwwww”.
Hipster guy #1: Ewww.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: What the hell were they talking about?
Squeaky blonde: When I feel like that after drinking too much I just totally stick my finger down my throat. I don't wake up with a hangover, and it saves calories too!
–Blarney Rock Pub
Overheard by: Ant928
Dumpy middle aged lady: I haven't lost any weight, but I'm still alive. So… I'm pretty proud of myself.
–Union Square
Girl: You should have to pay by the calorie. That'd make people less fat.
–Chipotle, Broadway
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Five-year-old boy to mom: Hey, mom, this energy drink has 10 calories less then the Monster drink!
–7-Eleven
Overheard by: CatVonD
NYU student: You know when you're on a diet, and you wash your face with apricot cleanser? It smells so good that you just want to, like, eat it!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: melbert
Teen boy #1: I got drunk for the first time last weekend.
Teen boy #2: Really?
Teen boy #1: Yeah, it felt so good! Every girl I saw looked really hot.
Teen boy #2: Yeah… That tends to happen.
–L Train
Young daughter, pointing: That trash can is stinky!
Haggard father: Yes, it's a very stinky trash can.
–87th St & West End
Overheard by: Special K
Guy #1: Man it’s freakin’ freezing out! Isn’t there supposed to be global warming or something!?
Guy #2: Well, obviously we’re not trying hard enough.
–50th & Broadway
Girl: Are you lost?
Man: No, I just smell weed.
–10th & 5th
Overheard by: Rum Tum Ting
Preppy girl: I really loved that movie. I thought it was titillating… And not just because there was cock and balls. I don’t care about that.
–Third Avenue
Guy to self: Brokeback mountain… Starring Hillary Clinton!
–Herald Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Worst Movie Ever
Doofette: I mean like I know it got the Oscar and all, but I thought "No Country for Old Men" was pretty boring. I have to admit though the choreography was amazing.
–SoHo
Thug, peddling pile of DVDs: Ghetto Blockbuster! I am your ghetto Blockbuster! I got movies, CDs, porno. [Another group of customers walks in.] I got that action, comedy, romance and I got that pussy! I am your friendly neighborhood ghetto Blockbuster.
–24 Hour McDonalds, Water & Moore
Overheard by: BigKahuna&BigRed
Creepy hipster: You’d think you can’t have sex to "Silence of the Lambs"…
–Huron St, Greenpoint
Overheard by: sweetchuck
Dude on cell: If you like murder, you’re gonna love this movie!
–48 Bus
Big girl: You're sweet.
Cute girl: No I'm not, I'm full of piss and vinegar.
–Metro-North Rail
Tall girl: My little sister started stinkin' already, an' she only in third grade. I ain't start stinkin' till the fifth grade. When you start stinkin'?
Short girl: I ain't never stink.
Tall girl, snorting: Sure. (pauses and thinks) Why does everyone say girls stink between our legs? I know I don'. I'm fresh.
Short girl: You know that girl, she opens up her legs in class and you can smell at that shit.
Tall girl, shrugging: I don't go around sniffin pussy.
–Q43 Bus
Overheard by: beeniebooger
Teen boy: I like touching fat people.
–69th St & 5th Ave, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Guy to friends: So I was on the subway the other day and I was counting some guys’ chins and I realized, I’m just not a nice person.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: CUMT
Large black woman on cell: Of course I’m loud, I’m fat!
–25th & 8th
Overheard by: Beckerman
Chick to guy: I’m thinking of keeping it, as an excuse to get fat.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ladle
30-something with heavy NYC accent: Ya know, if I had to do high school all over again, I woulda fucked a fat chick. I wouldna cared so much.
–34th & 5th
Man yelling on cell: I would be so much better at Jeopardy then her! Her fat Indian hands can’t hit the button as fast as I can!
–35rd St & 5th Ave
Female house manager: He comes over and he’s like: "What are you doing?" and I said: "My job." and he goes: "You’re fat."
–Theater, St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Mariah
