Sex

Girl: I feel like sex shouldn't have to involve major home reconstruction.
Guy: It shouldn't, but it does.

–Grand Army Plaza, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Hunter

Black chick #1: I was like, “Damn, what hood did you come from?”
Black chick #2: I don't know no hood where people be wearin' purple tights.
Black chick #1: She just needs to get some dick. Imma tell her dat the next time I see her.

–Pace University

Overheard by: Meg-Tron

Lady on platform: Is there any way to squeeze further?
Man on train: Yeah, second floor.

–L Train

Overheard by: Douglas Allen

Queer: I don't want someone to fuck me with their stoma!

–11th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Amanda

Gay guy: That girl is such a Rice Krispie.

–Outside Gristedes, Christopher St

Overheard by: McF

Queer on cell: And I said to him, "Take it like the bottom you are!"

–8th St & 23rd St

Gay guy: I just got pounded by the two hottest guys I've ever seen!

–58th & 9th

Gay man (getting his hair cut by another): So we went to Fire Island this weekend and we went to this party. I said, "Patrick, you better pee on Jon right now to mark your territory."

–57th & 7th

Gay man on cell: Oh, morals disappear after 8pm!

–Amsterdam & 83rd

Chick #1: He was a skateboarder.
Chick #2: Yeah. Let me just say that he was locked and loaded. He had a nice package.

–Our Place, 3rd Avenue

Young Asian woman: That’s why your country has such a low birth rate. In Korea the men just club women over the head and drag them home.
Young Asian man: [Pausing] I don’t believe you.

–Tosca, The Met

Overheard by: busyboy

Earth chick on cell: I had meditation and yoga class today. So, if you're coming over tonight we have to have spiritual sex.

–Barnes & Noble

Guy on cell: You're never going to believe this, but I need to tell you anyways. I just did some witchcraft.

–9th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Smoking Student

Yoga teacher: Not being able to do something can teach you a lot about yourself. Like how you're a fucking loser.

–Midtown

Rich white girl with dog in purse: Yeah, so when I went to go buy a dog, I picked Pookie out because he's a Pisces and I'm a Virgo, and that way our personalities will match.

–C Train

Overheard by: evan

White dude to another: I'd like to see what his chi looks like.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Aileen

Guy in suit #1: Damn, you know who is hot? Megan Fox. It's her attitude too. I mean, you know there is no way you could ever keep up with her.
Guy in suit #2: Bet that dude she's fucking from 90210 can't keep up.
Guy in suit #3: I was always a fan of Brenda.
Guy in suit #2: Really, I was more of Kelly.
Guy in suit #1: What the fuck?!

–86th St b/w 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: 90s Nostalgia

Drunk guy to drunk girls hailing a cab: Hey there, ladies. Happy Halloween!
Drunk girl #1: Sorry, I'm not drunk enough to go home with you.
Drunk girl #2: I am!

–El Sombrero, Essex & Allen

Overheard by: Kate

Guy: I mean, eating your own cum is one thing, but eating it on a pizza four hours later? I should probably keep my voice down…

–43rd & 8th