Girl #1: I don't know about you girls, but I'm fucking something tonight.
Girl #2: Don't you have a boyfriend?
Girl #1: Well, he's not around. Fuck this American bullshit. I'm getting laid.
–Fulton & Naussau
Overheard by: prince
Girl #1: I don't know about you girls, but I'm fucking something tonight.
Girl #2: Don't you have a boyfriend?
Girl #1: Well, he's not around. Fuck this American bullshit. I'm getting laid.
–Fulton & Naussau
Overheard by: prince
Guy on cell: But baby, it's a full body workout, depending on the position.
–Pratt Campus
Jogger on phone: I gotta stay in shape, you know? I'm not getting any younger. Even though the guys I graduated with look worse than I do.
–Marine Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: wantsoutof_bklyn
Older lady to young male athletic facility employee: Do you have big balls? Exercise balls? I want bigger balls than you have there.
–NYU Palladium Athletic Facility, 140 E 14th St
Overheard by: JohnB
Large smoking man with burrito and Margarita: I can never work out, I'm too drunk all the time!
–Blockheads
Overheard by: how do you live?
Sassy black lady: Daaaamn! You're making me walk all the way to 45th Street?
–42nd St
Large Latina on cell: So I grabbed the baby and said "Kali! She likes this!" and started doing squats.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Russel
Male tourist: Supposedly they are trying to change their image.
Woman tourist: To what? Less slutty?
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Alyx
Black girl: And I told that nigga that one of these days he's better goddamn fuck me sober!
Friend: Damn straight!
–67th & Lexington
Overheard by: Oliver Woodhead
45-year-old woman: So I ended up shaving it, and it looks so pretty! It's like I'm ten years old again!
–Houlihans Restaurant
Overheard by: remembers when she was ten years old
Girl on cell: Wait. The dad shaves the son's ass?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky
Guy in shower to guy in the next: Man, I am never shaving my pubes again.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt
Guy with a bunch of tattoos: The sex was great, but she was psychotic. Every time I shaved she would accuse me of having had oral sex with another woman.
–86th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Alan
British woman on cell: Are you shaving? Your face or your balls?
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: Just around
Sleazy biker, taking a bottle from marathon relief table: My mother always told me I should be bottle-fed.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Uncomfortable volunteer
NYU student on cell, angrily: I was trying to show your mom a good time so I wouldn't have to stick my dick in her again!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: chris k.
Guido on cell: So you fucked the mother *and* the daughter?
–23rd & 3rd
Guy to girl: Anything over 50 is a super milf!
–Chelsea
Teen to friend: Cause I ain't no full-time mama. I'm a part-time mama.
–Church & Chambers
Middle aged hipster with ponytail and gray streaked goatee: I'm a soccer mom!
–Times Square
Guy: Jimmy wrote a rap.
Girl: Is it good?
Guy: It was… “I'ma fuck her, I'ma fuck her, I'ma fuck her, I'ma fuck her in different ways.”
Girl: Oh.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Alex Berger
Thug: Yo, man! What color are my nipples? What color are my nipples?!
–LaGuardia High School
Teen to friend: Calm yo black nipples! Calm yo black nipples!
–Union Square
Overheard by: hairy pink nipples
Girl to friends: The idea of some machine sucking on my nipples just terrifies me!
–Bathroom, NYU
Overheard by: Trying to pee in peace
Random girl: Yeah, I have like four nipples.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Nameless
Tall beautiful 30-year-old curvaceous brunette in stockings and pumps on cell: I was like: "you're preaching about non-violence and you're touching my nipple!"
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Janusz
Mom: You've had crabs before?
40-something son: Yeah…but it wasn't from having sex with a dirty whore. It was from sleeping on a dirty bed.
–Bx 12 Bus
Overheard by: maritza
Annoying fundraiser guy: Scuse me, miss, if I could have a second of your time.
(cute girl stops and takes off headphones)
Annoying fund raiser guy: I work for the Children's Rights Foundation and I'm collec…
Cute girl (interrupting): Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you wanted sex.
–23rd St & 6th Ave
