Little boy: My stomach hurts!
Teacher: How does it hurt? What does it feel like?
Little boy: It's… Almost like how it feels being pregnant.
–Public School, The Bronx
Little boy: My stomach hurts!
Teacher: How does it hurt? What does it feel like?
Little boy: It's… Almost like how it feels being pregnant.
–Public School, The Bronx
Astronomy professor: And on the test you'll all circle the answer that says…
Class, in unison: Mercury and Uranus!
Astronomy professor: Right. Mercury and my anus. So…
–Wagner College
Overheard by: At least class is never boring…
Sassy black woman: You think I would have brunch in Harlem? I wouldn't even have lunch in Harlem!
–D Train
Overheard by: laughing
Dramatic girl on cell: But I love you. I would go to Harlem and back for you!
–Starbucks
Girl: Wow, Harlem is like a cultural playground. There are stores and everything.
–Metro-North
Columbia freshman girl: I would never let anybody in Harlem touch my vagina.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Meagan
Student #1: Hey, where N'Sync at?
Student #2: It's not “where N'Sync at,” it's “where are N'Sync at”?
–Times Square
White college student to Korean friend: Dude, I thought Asian-ness was like… universal!
Korean student, irritably: I hate seeing all these sneaky chinks around.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Someone who can tell Koreans from Chinese…
History teacher: Does anyone have any thoughts they'd like to share about the reading? Any strong opinions?
Girl: I want to share! I have a strong opinion! Can I share?
History teacher: You want to share, Amy*?
Girl: Yes!
History teacher: Go ahead.
Girl: Never mind.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Extremely tall black woman watching video excerpt of porn star Marilyn Chambers "self pleasuring": Huh, looks like she's cleaning out a chicken.
–Museum of Sex, 5th Ave
Very round and fat short woman on cell: Next time ya come down to Astoria bring me some ribs! (girlishly) Bring me some chicken or some ribs. (pause) Wellll, bring some tomorra! (pause) I'll be lickin' my fingas at 4:30 in the mornin'!
–N Train
Overheard by: I want some ribs too
Suit on cell: So, the chicken comes out of its cage, and then it picks your fortune!
–Baxter St & Walker St
Overheard by: Kristin
High school girl: I'm sorry, but I was really high, and the chicken was just sitting there in the fridge. I mean, would you think someone's a bad person who kills someone when they're drunk? (pause) Let's pretend I didn't say that.
–86 St
Lady on cell: They eat the same thing all the time. Every single day it's curried chicken, white rice, curried chicken, white rice. I just want a damn sushi burger!
–Downtown F Train
Gay guy dressed in black with painted red hair: So fuck it. I'm gonna make a fetish costume for a chicken!
–11st St & 3rd Ave
Blonde chick to friend: So I ran into that guy and confronted him. I was like, "why didn't you say hi to me last Friday? I know you saw me, but you didn't say anything. Listen, if you're going to sleep with me Thursday night, you can't just not say hi to me on Friday. I know it's common for a lot of businessmen to sleep with prostitutes and then ignore them the next day when they see them on the street, but they pay them. If you're going to ignore me, fine… but I expect a check in the mail."
–Outside NYU Gramercy Green Residence Hall
Overheard by: Molalala
Girl to friend: Prostitutes don't have negative connotations.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: anonymous
Drunk 20-something male to two 20-something girls: Is it Jewish tradition to go to Amsterdam when you're 14 to get laid by a black prostitute?
–14th St & 2nd ave
Grad student to girlfriend: You know, it's funny. Before I met you, a skanky girl was just a skanky girl. Since we've been dating, when I see a skanky girl, I have to ask myself, "is she turning tricks?"
–Uris Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: Wonders how they met
Man to friend, about a woman hailing cab: Wow, she looks really expensive.
–18th & 7th
Teacher: So, in Gangs of New York, Amsterdam throws the bible into the river. What does this represent?
Student #1: He's rejecting his religion because he wants to get revenge.
Teacher: Right. The bible says…
Student #2: “You shall not get revenge”!
Teacher: I don't think that's actually what it says.
Student #2: Yeah, whatever… It could be the 11th commitment!
–St. Francis Prep, Queens
First grade girl #1: When I grow up, I wanna be a seal trainer!
First grade girl #2: When I grow up, I wanna be a seal!
–Sea Lion Exhibit, Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: helenathegreat
