Teen #1: What's a scallion pancake? Do you put syrup on it?
Teen #2: I don't know.
Teen #1: I thought scallions were a seafood.
Teen #2: No. That's “scallops.”
–Chinese Takeout, Queens
Overheard by: illyria
Teen #1: What's a scallion pancake? Do you put syrup on it?
Teen #2: I don't know.
Teen #1: I thought scallions were a seafood.
Teen #2: No. That's “scallops.”
–Chinese Takeout, Queens
Overheard by: illyria
Bike messenger #1: Education is so fucking overrated. Honestly, the worst mistake I ever made.
Bike messenger #2: Uhhh…
Bike messenger #1: Serious fucking waste of time.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Neilium
Woman: Are these Japanese dolls?
Employee: Yes.
Woman: Oh, are you Japanese?
Employee: No.
Woman: Are you sure?
–Union Square
Teen girl: Girl, you look cute pregnant! You should stay pregnant!
–2 train
Overheard by: n69n
Woman #1: So I decided to celebrate turning 50 by traveling to Tibet.
Woman #2: Tibet? Where’s that? London?
Woman #1: …No, it’s near China and Russia.
Woman #2: Oh. It’s not like I don’t like to travel but I went to Mexico once and it was stupid.
–4 train
Young woman to another: But do you know how big a horse dick is?
–5th Ave & Carroll, Park Slope
Girl: I'm really tired. I'm, like, an animal activist right now.
–Parking Lot, Broadway Mall
Overheard by: Lysa
Student: I'm not that sensitive. I can watch those videos where they like, torture the animal or whatever, and then I'll go eat it.
–Cardozo Law School
Asian girl: Does this make me look like a sad Panda?
–NYU Dining Hall
Columbia girl: I'd never have asked if I knew he was the one who'd killed it. But I didn't suspect him. Who'd spend their time strangling a gerbil?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Who'd have thought?
Guido to friend: Yo, it smells like a skunk burped up a hot dog.
–Penn Station
Lady on speaker: If you have an animal, please do not put it through the X-ray.
–LaGuardia Airport
Woman to teen skater punks splashing in fountain: You know there's birdshit in that, right?
Lead teen skater punk: We're not drinking it!
–55th St Water Fountain
Overheard by: A little purel never hurt
Woman stuck in bathroom, kicking and banging: Help me! [Inaudible yelling in Spanish.]Conductor: Miss, don’t push the door, slide the door!
Man: Some people just shouldn’t be allowed on the train.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Erin
White guy: Honestly, this sounds crazy, but I've never been able to find actual porn on the internet.
Asian girl, indignant: Dude. You just google “porn.”
–Bleecker St
Soulful black man: Well, think about this. A white man lived in Graceland, a black man lived in Neverland. (nods knowingly)
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Bearsian
Gallery director to intern: So after he was arrested we sent a letter to Henry Gates asking him for money, you know, since we are a multicultural organization.
–Lower East Side Art Gallery
Latina to Latino: Latinos and black people can't be racist. That's, like, just white people.
–Red Hook, Brooklyn
White hobo: When I see a black nigger together with a white nigger, that just confuses the hell outta me.
–Houston & Clinton
Woman: She likes black dogs because she's black, and I like white dogs because I'm white.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Yehuda
