Are Your Eyes Watering?

Adorable four-year-old girl, singing: Daddy! Youuuuu/ you make me flyyy!
Doting father: Awwwwwww!
Adorable four-year-old girl: I farted.

–6th Ave & 12th St

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on December 5, 2009
Dads, Farting & Burping, Kids, Parents, The Village

Wednesday One-Liners Have Fallen Upon Hard Times

Hobo: Can you spare some change? Selfish fucking morons! Can you spare some change? Selfish fucking morons! Can you spare some change? I love you.

–Broadway & 9th St

Hobo to everyone on train: Stand clear the closing doors, ladies and gentlemen. Please watch the gap between the train and the platform. Walk over it, not in it. Your safety is my number one priority because: without you, I don't eat.

–4 Train

Crazy hobo to man: I don't want your change. I want that! (points to man's crotch)

–F Train

Hobo: Can you spare me 600,000 dollars?

–Broadway & 97th St

Overheard by: Martijn H

Drunk hobo to restaurant owner: Oh, man, I've missed you! You haven't cursed me out in forever!

–Restaurant, Ave A & 7th St

Overheard by: Tigertail

Posted on December 2, 2009
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Bosses, Crazies, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Hobos, Homeless, Insults, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Panhandling, Passengers, Private Parts, Public Transportation, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers, Street, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Bless Me, Father, for I Have Wednesday One-Linered

Man in cowboy hat, looking at large crowd surrounding a Jew for Jesus: Man, I can't compete with religion, all I got are card tricks! This sucks!

–Union Square

Overheard by: SilentRaver

Guy on cell: Why, is it because it's the blacks? (pause) Oh, I get it. It's the Baptists.

–Cosi, 13th & Broadway

Overheard by: Heather

Crazy creepster, going up to Catholic girls and screaming: Catholic schoolgirls rule!

–R Train

Overheard by: Amanduh

Tall, 40-something guy on cell: I don't know… I don't think I can go drunk to church.

–53rd St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Midtown Schmidtown

Woman: My husband is pissed because I skipped church for this shit!

–Medieval Festival, Ft. Tryon Park

Posted on December 2, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Bars & Clubs, Catholics, Christianity, Church, Crazies, Creepsters, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Gripes, Guys, Jesus, Judaism, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Race, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Would You Like to See Narnia?

Smoking cook, watching busty girl carrying shopping bags: Jesus…
Busty: I'm not Jesus, I'm the wardrobe lady! And my boobs are real!

–12th & 6th

Overheard by: that guy

Posted on December 1, 2009
Boob Job, Coworkers, Jesus, Rack, The Village

One-Liners All Have Wednesday DNA

Woman on cell: And then he threw the wig and car keys at him, and to me, that says family!

–West Village

Overheard by: Kate S

20-something on cell: Yeah, I Rickrolled my cousin's Bar Mitzvah last night. No, he didn't get it, the sheltered little Short Hills prick.

–MoMA

Overheard by: Trevor

Young guy in deli to friend: So getting support from my parents is like dealing with a record label. You have to create a buzz, make it seem like you're doing something, or they don't want to be involved with you.

–Frank's Deli

Drunk girl: That's my brother! But we're both only children.

–Pieces Bar, Christopher St

30-something man to 30-something woman: When are we ever going to find a time when both of our parents aren't home?

–7th & 1st