Wednesday One-Liners Make Digital Records Of Their Humiliation

Stoned girl to tourists filming and photographing ads outside M&M store: It's an advertisement, people!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Alice

Hot woman in suit to unsuspecting family buying a knock-off purse: Don't buy that shit, you stupid fucking tourists!

–44th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: would never buy that shit

NYC punk to tourist bus: Hey, tourists! Welcome to New York! {short pause} Fuck you!

–8th & Broadway

Young thug to friend: Man, if I told you once, then I be telling you a million times. You from New York, fool. In New York, you don't be going giving no tourists directions! If they say, "where's the Empire State Building at?" you spit on them and walk the other way! Now don't you go make me be telling you again! I've had enough of you and yo' foolish ways. (couple wearing "I (heart) New York" t-shirts inch away nervously)

–Union Square

Overheard by: Glad I had a map

Suit with southern accent: Nah! That library has too many tourists.

–51 & Lexington

Overheard by: Miriam

Posted on February 11, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Directions, Families, Friends, Girls, Insults, Knock-Offs, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Only in New York, Punks, Smegma, Stoners, Stupidity, Suits, The Village, Thugs, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Just Let a Vague Smile Of Incomprehension Be Your Umbrella

Thug lady #1: Yo, you got your gun in dat purse?
Thug lady #2: Yeah, bitch, but keep it on the down low, now this white boy knows I gots a gun in my purse.

–A Train

Overheard by: The White Boy

Posted on February 6, 2009
Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Questions, Race, Thugs, Weapons

Don't Get Mad. Get Wednesday One-Liners

Suit: It's at the point now it doesn't matter too much if my wife gets mad, it's the nanny I can't upset. (other men laugh and agree)

–Uptown A Train

Female employee: I do not want to go to anger management for a third time.

–115th & 5th

Overheard by: Tara

Girl to guy: You seem like the kind of person that would be mad if they got shot.

–Wildwood, Park Ave & 18th St

Overheard by: Sean

Mom to three-year-old son: You mad? You mad? Well, you know what "mad" is spelled backwards, right? "D-a-m." Ain't nothin' you can do about that.

–St. Nicholas Ave & 127th St

Overheard by: stella ho

Thug: She's just mad 'cause she's Mexican.

–Staten Island Mall

Overheard by: Wendla B.

Hostess running out of restaurant: Angry couple who just left the bar! You forgot your credit card!

–The Village

Overheard by: DW

Posted on February 4, 2009
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Baristas, Family Ties, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Laughter, Malls, Marriage, Moms, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Shoot, Staten Island, Street, Stupidity, Suits, The Village, Thugs, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

Or Vote and Die If You're in the Army

Young thugette #1: If I was old enough to vote when George Bush got elected, I'd be pissed…how's gas gonna be five dollars?
Young thugette #2: For two bucks I used to get half a turkey.
Young thugette #1 (screaming to entire train car): Vote or die, bitches!

–1 Train

Posted on February 3, 2009
Age/Aging, Food, Money & Class, On the Subway, President, Thugs

Whose Basketball Playing Will We Mock Then?

Thug #1: I heard some shit like white people is dying out, like they ain't gonna be here in like a hundred years. Dead ass.
Thug #2: You mean the whole world gonna be like Harlem, and Chinatown and shit?
Thug #1: Yea, nigga.
Thug #2: That shit will be tight, son!
Thug #1 (looking around): Nah, nigga, that shit scary.

–112th & Lexington

Posted on January 22, 2009
Ass, Death, Fears, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Thugs, Upper East Side

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Know How to Quit You

Tough guy on cell: Yeah, I was at the gay bah. It was two for ones. Whaddayou gonna do? Two for ones!

–Houston & Avenue A

Homeless man in subway station: Gay sex was invented to avoid child support.

–53rd St Subway Station

Overheard by: Billy

Woman on cell: Let me tell you something about this new generation of guys in New York: All gay.

–W 31st & Broadway

Overheard by: A passing gay man

Woman to husband: Not just a gay, but a heroin sheep gay.

–Broadway & 8th

Overheard by: TR

Cop to drunk: Who cares if you're gay? That doesn't give you the right to climb the fire escape.

–W 20th

Posted on January 7, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cops, Couples, Crime and Punishment, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Heroin, Hobos, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Sex, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Pimps of The World: That's What We've Been Trying To SAY

Ghetto Thug: Pssss! Nigga woman, you got a mad fine piece of ass. Let me get in that, yo. Check it!
Scared Woman: You wish! Get away from me before I go get that cop over there.
Ghetto Thug: Bitch, I's just payin' you a compliment. Shit!

–Jamaica Station, Sutphin Blvd

Posted on December 26, 2008
Ass, Backdoor, Black People, Compliments, Cops, Queens, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Thugs, Women

These Days You Have to Leave the United States for Good Old-Fashioned New York Rudeness

Burly Hispanic guy in Army uniform: Hey, dude, you have a napkin stuck to the bottom of your shoe.
Burly black guy covered in menacing tattoos: Thanks, man, I really appreciate it.

–A Train

Posted on December 23, 2008
Black People, Latinos, On the Subway, Shoes, Thugs, Weirdness

We Were Rooting for You Right Until the End, Lady

Large ghetto lady: Astro place?
Thug: Yeah, Astro place.
Large ghetto lady: Motherfucka, can you read?!
Thug: It's Astro place, it should definitely be Astro place.
Large ghetto lady: It's Astor place, ain't no Astro place.
Thug: Like, do you throw asses at it and shit?
Large ghetto lady: Asto-o-o-o-r-r-r place (laughs condescendingly for at least a minute) Yo, I got arrested at Astor place.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: Sad to say, I got off at the same stop.

Posted on December 12, 2008
Ass, Cops, Ghetto Chicks, Insults, Names, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, Thugs

Thugs