Old man: Alright honey, let's go back to the hotel.
(starts walking in random direction)
Old woman: Honey, where are you going?
Old man: I don't know, the shiny lights all around us?
–Times Square
Old man: Alright honey, let's go back to the hotel.
(starts walking in random direction)
Old woman: Honey, where are you going?
Old man: I don't know, the shiny lights all around us?
–Times Square
Small child #1: Look, they got toys out already and the movie isn't even out yet!
Small child #2: Yo, that's crazy gay!
–Toys R Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Tim
(hurried suit squeezes into packed compartment of automated revolving door)
Automated female voice: Please step forward.
Suit, squishing forward: Eat me!
Automated female voice: Thank you.
Suit: God, I hate that cheery bitch.
–Marriott Marquis Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: austin
Middle-aged lady to guy handing out Obama and McCain condoms: Now I've got something to play with tonight! All I need is a man.
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: I Hate Times Square
30-something dad on cell pushing small child in stroller: You know, I'm all in favor of that Plan B medication.
–Park Slope, Prospect Park
Overheard by: Alex
Girl in elevator to friend: I don't even know why you need condoms, they break anyway. But I didn't get pregnant!
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kar
Guy at the sidewalk: Anybody wants McCain, Obama and Palin condoms? McCain, Obama and Palin condoms…get it here! Because either way, you're screwed!
–Times Square
Overheard by: non voter
Girl to bartender: Can I get some of those condoms? (bartender takes out two) I mean, like a bunch? I'm a big dirtbag.
–Boss Tweeds
Suit on cell: You just wrap it in duct tape and put a condom on it.
–7th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Karmenlara Seidman
Security guard to another: I know it's habitual to act retarded.
–Time Warner Security Check
Overheard by: spandangle
Security guard: The door's that way, people. I know that when you see a door you want to go through it–it's human nature.
–Crown Plaza Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: GJL
Female security guard: What does my sexual genitalia have to do with it?
–Brooklyn Library
Little boy: Mommy, mommy, look! They've got security guards! Must be a rich people place.
–86th & Brooklyn
Security guard, after metal detector beeps: Ma'am, would you please remove your wooden bracelet and walk back through the metal detector again?
–Liberty Island
Overheard by: heather linford
Crazy security guard: I have so much gas. I'm going to take all my gas and send it to Iraq and end the war. (gets distracted by a girl walking past with an ice cream cone) Hey, you're stomach's gonna freeze!
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Honest Truth
Woman to two male companions: I've fornicated lots of times, and I've never been arrested!
–A Train, Grand Central
Guy handing out tickets: Comedy club tickets, tickets tickets, get drunk and possibly arrested!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Chadwick
50-something on cell: I was watching America's Most Wanted last night to see if I could see…our boy!
–DeKalb & Cumberland, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lea
Grungy guy, carrying a slice and a bottled drink: I don't believe in putting off till tomorrow what I can do today…because tomorrow I might be back in jail.
–Sheridan Square
Overheard by: Suze Volchok
Guy on cell: It's always comforting when I imagine people I don't like being anally raped in prison.
–Prince & Sullivan
Bus driver: The next stop is QCC. Queens Correctional Cen…I mean, Queens Community College.
–Q27 Bus
Overheard by: hey! i go there …
British boy #1: Can you believe we just spent $116 on t-shirts?
British boy #2: Yeah, we got one in every color!
British boy #1: Yeah, now we can be like those gangs in video stores!
–M&M Store, Times Square
Ghetto guy on cell: And then he asked me if he was gonna go to heaven and I said, "You ain't going to heaven, you are going to thug mansion!"
–125th St & Amsterdam
Thugette to thug: I killed him because he was bothering me.
–Broadway & 20th St
Overheard by: Robert G
Pretty thug in white polo (very loudly): Yo, I need to get a scale to weigh some drugs.
–Ditmars & 25th, Astoria
Thug to friend: You can't pull off the lumberjack look. You ain't the fuckin Brawny man!
–Jamba Juice, Times Square
Big thug on cell (angrily): All I'm saying is you'd *better* get your master's degree, or else!
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: Ladle
Hipster girl: Why is the sky blue?
Boy: I don't know. Let's never kiss again.
–Times Square
Overheard by: holding sushi.
Girl #1, about street preacher: Oh my god, I cannot believe he said Jesus was the devil.
Girl #2: I know! Jesus was Moses. Duh.
–Times Square
Overheard by: joanna
