Man passing out flyers: Now where do you ladies live?
Girl (whispering): Narnia.
–Times Square
Man passing out flyers: Now where do you ladies live?
Girl (whispering): Narnia.
–Times Square
60-year-old woman to friend, at Met opening gala: I'm not going to go to the opera this year. There are no fancy entrances.
–62nd & Amsterdam, Improvised Met Entrance
Overheard by: Melissa
Crazy man to group of young women: Hello ladies, are you having a nice night? (women ignore him) You could just say "yes." I'm not Jack the Ripper, I'm not the Boston Strangler…look at you, walking all fancy and shit!
–125th & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Anna
Tourist girl: Y'all, Times Square is so fancy. They have a red lobster!
–Times Square
Hobo: Red lobster? What kind of fancy guy do you know? You're lucky if I can buy you a slice of pizza.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: hungry4biscuits
Crazy guy on subway: You have to hold onto your valuables, your Christmas presents, your fancy lingerie…because if you put them down, someone will take them. People are really fast around here. Men, women, transvestites…transvestites are really fond of fancy lingerie.
–Northbound R Train
Overheard by: ElizabethB
Girl on phone: Yeah, I'm here. But I think I passed through the ghetto on the way. Yeah, it was definitely the ghetto. How do I know? It was really obvious: because I saw a sizzler and all the buildings looked the same!
–Penn Station
20-something girl, watching street protest: They better not have closed Popeyes for this.
–M Bus
Overheard by: BHM
Tiny white girl: I just want to go into Applebee's and punch everyone in the face.
–Times Square
Overheard by: that would pass the time…
Girl on cell: Look mom, there's a Jamba Juice. That place is like famous.
–Herald Square
Slob tourist chick to fat husband: I hate my life! Ooooh, Olive Garden!
–Times Square
Overheard by: BarcLeh
Chick #1: You could always go to a beauty school. It's cheaper.
Chick #2: No way, I swore off schools. My friend went to one, and got herpes of the eye. Someone got a bikini wax, and then they used the same dipper thing on her eye.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Helena
Whiny loser: I wish i could win for once.
Jockey winner: There can't be two number ones.
Whiny loser: Oh, that's right, that'll make eleven.
–Time Square
Overheard by: jnigga
Dude #1: Do you think New York is multicultural?
Dude #2: Let me answer that with a question. (long pause) Do you know what the time is?
–Times Square
Old man: Alright honey, let's go back to the hotel.
(starts walking in random direction)
Old woman: Honey, where are you going?
Old man: I don't know, the shiny lights all around us?
–Times Square
Small child #1: Look, they got toys out already and the movie isn't even out yet!
Small child #2: Yo, that's crazy gay!
–Toys R Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Tim
(hurried suit squeezes into packed compartment of automated revolving door)
Automated female voice: Please step forward.
Suit, squishing forward: Eat me!
Automated female voice: Thank you.
Suit: God, I hate that cheery bitch.
–Marriott Marquis Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: austin
Middle-aged lady to guy handing out Obama and McCain condoms: Now I've got something to play with tonight! All I need is a man.
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: I Hate Times Square
30-something dad on cell pushing small child in stroller: You know, I'm all in favor of that Plan B medication.
–Park Slope, Prospect Park
Overheard by: Alex
Girl in elevator to friend: I don't even know why you need condoms, they break anyway. But I didn't get pregnant!
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kar
Guy at the sidewalk: Anybody wants McCain, Obama and Palin condoms? McCain, Obama and Palin condoms…get it here! Because either way, you're screwed!
–Times Square
Overheard by: non voter
Girl to bartender: Can I get some of those condoms? (bartender takes out two) I mean, like a bunch? I'm a big dirtbag.
–Boss Tweeds
Suit on cell: You just wrap it in duct tape and put a condom on it.
–7th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Karmenlara Seidman
