David Letterman recruiter: Late show with David Letterman! Free tickets to David Letterman!
New York Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain: Letterman sucks!
–Time Square
David Letterman recruiter: Late show with David Letterman! Free tickets to David Letterman!
New York Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain: Letterman sucks!
–Time Square
Bouncer on phone: I don't care if they is balding, got big guts or little dicks!
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: chiddox
Flaming gay man to lover: You have a small dick that never gets erect, and you are not in my will!
–Avenue St John & Kelly Streets, Bronx
Overheard by: Li'l Squeaker
Hobo: Stop controlling my eyeballs to look at your dick!
–Times Square
30-something man: Waaaaait, did they say "dick in cider" or "dick inside her"?
–7th St & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Juicy
High school kid: I wish I had two dicks. (pause) So both of my hands have something to do in class.
–Q27 Bus Stop
Overheard by: cough.cough.cough
Woman on phone: It's not about you, it's about your small dick.
–Times Square
Girl to friend: So you're going to tutor his dick, right?
–University & 10th St
Announcer guy: Hey girl, I love your face. And Charmin loves the other end!
–Charmin NYC Restrooms, Times Square
Overheard by: Nathan
Drunk boyfriend: Thanksgiving is over, and so is our love!
–Grand & Leonard, Williamsburg
Overheard by: fanny
Subway busker, about next song: This is not a love song. The reason that this is not a love song is because I don't like her anymore.
–Time Square
Philosophy professor on last day of class: If you love something, set it free. And if it flies away, run after it and kill it.
–City College
Overheard by: Dan Lurie
20-something guy to friend sharing iPod with him: I would do anything to live there…I would pretend to be in love.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: dallas
Woman on cell: I will skin and tar you. (pause) Oh, I love you!
–W Broadway & W 3rd St
20-something guy on cell: In the eight-minute cab ride it went from her telling him he was wearing a cheap coat to her licking his face!
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Overheard by: Robert
Conductor: We are not moving because of a switch problem at 125th. If you are in a hurry, there are taxis upstairs.
–Uptown D Train
Overheard by: Wes
30-something man in Santa suit on cell: Where the fuck is my fucking taxi, bitch?
–Lafayette & Spring
Cop pulling over a cabbie: Why did you honk? Where did you see danger? Where did you see danger? Besides behind your own wheel…
–Times Square
Woman cut off by cab while crossing the street: Oh my god! I'm getting cab-fucked left and right!
–Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: Marc
Stoned girl to tourists filming and photographing ads outside M&M store: It's an advertisement, people!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Alice
Hot woman in suit to unsuspecting family buying a knock-off purse: Don't buy that shit, you stupid fucking tourists!
–44th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: would never buy that shit
NYC punk to tourist bus: Hey, tourists! Welcome to New York! {short pause} Fuck you!
–8th & Broadway
Young thug to friend: Man, if I told you once, then I be telling you a million times. You from New York, fool. In New York, you don't be going giving no tourists directions! If they say, "where's the Empire State Building at?" you spit on them and walk the other way! Now don't you go make me be telling you again! I've had enough of you and yo' foolish ways. (couple wearing "I (heart) New York" t-shirts inch away nervously)
–Union Square
Overheard by: Glad I had a map
Suit with southern accent: Nah! That library has too many tourists.
–51 & Lexington
Overheard by: Miriam
Blond girl #1: And then I was like, “Why can't we just be separate but like…”
Blond girl #2: Yeah, separate but equal!
Blond girl #1: Exactly!
–Store, Times Square
Overheard by: michelle
Husband: What? Just because I want to see my mother-in-law fall down and hit her head, does that make me a terrible person?
Wife: Yes!
–Time Square
Overheard by:
Crazy guy (inexplicably overjoyed): Heyyyyy! White people!
–1 Train
Gay black man on cell: She is such a delicate white cunt, she can't raise her own child. She needs a Jamaican man to do it.
–45th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Kristy Magyar
Angry black guy: I swear to god I'm bout to start slappin' white people.
–Union Station
Overheard by: scared white guy
White English guy to Anglo-Filipino chick: I don't think we'll be welcome there because we're white.
–Nostrand & St. Mark's, Brooklyn
Black guy: Man, I love white people, and I never shot anybody!
–Times Square
Panicked child: Mommy, why are there so many white people here?
–Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting
Woman: In Central Park right now, the Mormons are in full bloom!
–Bandshell, Central Park
Overheard by: Mojosaves
Chick to boyfriend: I could really use some Viagra, maybe I can get some from my grandpa. (pause) Wait, never mind, he's Mormon.
–17th St & 5th Ave
Girl: What do the Mormons have against gay people? Is it because the gays dress better? I mean, Mormons only like to wear white shirts and black pants.
–Uptown A Train
Deliriously drunk woman: I was Mormon!
–Times Square
Girlfriend: This frappuccino tastes like foam.
Boyfriend: I guess they put a lot of foam in yours.
Girlfriend: Oh my god, they should make a foam-flavored frappuccino.
–Shuttle from Times Square to Grand Central
Overheard by: valerie
