But aren’t they the same anyway?

Man in a full-length fur coat: “I’m a socialist monarchist. I believe in helping the people, but the people can’t help themselves.”

— W 83rd Post Office

Posted on January 11, 2021
Clothing, Government, People, Philosophy, Places, Post Office, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues

If It’s Invisible, Might As Well Make It a Cell

A hobo is talking into his hand as if it were a phone.

Hobo: Fuck that shit. I’m going dancing!

He hangs up his imaginary phone.

Hobo: Damn, that bitch talks too much.

–Staten Island ferry

Posted on December 15, 2020
Body Parts, Dancing, Gadgets, Hobos, People, Places, Staten Island Ferry, Topics

It’s All Greek to Me

Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.

–Midtown office

Posted on September 8, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Astoria, Babies, Foreigners, Grocery Stores, Ground Zero, Man's Best Friend, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Office, On Cell, On the Bus, People, Places, Poop, Pop Culture, Port Authority, Queens, Shoot, Suits, Times Square, Topics, TV, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vendors & Street Performers, Violence, Women

Sadly Not Beyond the Realm of Possibility

Kid presses call button on commuter hotline phone.

Father: Why did you do that?
Son: I’m sorry. I didn’t know what it was.
Father: If you do that again the police will arrest you.
Son: Really?
Father: Yes, George Bush will come and take you to jail.
Son: What?
Father: He will kill you and put your picture on the Wall of Memories [Ground Zero feature].

–World Trade Center PATH station

Posted on July 8, 2020
Crime and Punishment, Dads, Death, Gadgets, Ground Zero, Kids, Manhattan, Parents, People, Places, President, Topics, Tourist Attractions, Trains Not Subway, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

The Last Line Works Better By Itself

Teen girl: Wow, look at the men’s room line and then look at the women’s room line. It’s so much longer.
Fat woman: Yeah. Shit, I’ll grow a penis.

–Shubert Theater, W. 44th Street

Overheard by: Emily G.

Posted on May 18, 2020
Body Parts, Fat People, Girls, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, People, Places, Private Parts, Teens, Theater & Dance, Topics, Women

Remember That Whole Strike Thing?

Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I waited an hour for you to show up! Were you on a coffee break or what?
Bus driver: Sir, that’s not possible, the lead bus was only ten minutes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the depot.
Guy: Screw you! You guys are the real terrorists! You’re what Homeland Security is trying to protect us against!

–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island