Law student #1: How was your summer?
Law student #2: Off the hook. Italy is the third fucking world. Poverty kicks ass when you don’t have to deal with it, like, every day.
–Mercer & 3rd
Law student #1: How was your summer?
Law student #2: Off the hook. Italy is the third fucking world. Poverty kicks ass when you don’t have to deal with it, like, every day.
–Mercer & 3rd
Woman on cell: I can't come. I'm in the Poconos right now.
–Rite Aid, The Bronx
Punk girl on phone: Hi mom…yeah… Yeah, me and Jane are just walking around in the neighborhood… Yeah, we're at the Time Warner center right now. No! No, of course I'm not on St. Mark's. No. I'd never go there. Of course I'm sober! Why wouldn't I be? Yeah. Okay, love you, bye! (hangs up phone, now to friend with beer) Gimme some of that!
–St. Mark's Place
Russian guy on phone (in Russian): Yeah, I'm on Avenue M. I just got off, I'll be there in a few.
–Q Train, Kings Highway
Overheard by: Robert
Dude on cell: Yo! What's up? I'm waiting at LaGuardia.
–Martin Luther King High School
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm on Long Island right now. I'll be here for a little while.
–Park Slope
Female suit on phone: I have to cancel dinner tonight, I had that meeting I told you about, remember? And I'm still not back yet. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in Jersey still.
–Washington Square Park
Woman on cell outside a pub: Honey? It's mommy. We're still at the hospital. I don't know, we could still be here for hours.
–1st & 72nd
Overheard by: Well, there were hospitals nearby, at least
Grandpa: Honey, take off your shoes and put them on the belt.
5-Year-Old granddaughter: Me?!
Grandpa: Yes, everyone has to take off their shoes.
Granddaughter: But me?! Really?!
Grandpa: Yes, you too.
Granddaughter: What kind of airport is this?!
–JFK
Talkative hobo, seeing woman holding papers about Africa: What's up in Africa? You don't look African.
Dignified woman: I used to work in Angola.
Talkative hobo: That's the best kind of job to have, where they pay to send you all over the world. Damn, I bet it costs $2000 to fly to Angola if you were paying for it out of your own pocket.
Dignified woman: Actually, it costs more than that. It's about $4000 to fly to Angola and back from here.
Talkative hobo: Holy shit! $4000 to fly to Angola and back? Do you know how much weed I could buy for $4000? I could sit my ass in the park all day and smoke myself to death! Damn!
–1 Train
Russian lady: She loves to travel. Like some people alcoholics? She
loves to travel.
–Funayama, Greenwich Avenue
Guy on cell: Hey Maria? It’s John…from Biology…Oh, you can’t talk? OK. I love you. Bye.
–Washington Square Park
Euro chick: No silly, American football is like a girly version of rugby, they have rules and pads.
–66th & Lexington
Man: Look at all these little bananas! I don’t want none a these. These little bananas are for ladies.
–28th & Park fruit stand
Woman: You think that the players look at their butts in the mirror to see what we see?
–Yankee Stadium bleachers
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
Woman: Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I have to touch him!
–W 32nd & 5th
Street preacher pointing at ladies in short skirts: We’ve gotta get them married! We can’t be havin’ them fornicating in the streets!
–59th & 5th
Lady on cell: I mean, there were some funny pictures… Whitney freaking on me just isn’t what I had in mind… I just don’t really want pictures of beer pong in my wedding album, y’know?
–Gramercy Park
20-ish girl on cell: Grandma, it is so important that you are at my wedding. I need to have you there… Dad and I were talking, and we’re going to get you a refundable ticket… Just in case anything happens.
–Chinatownbus
Overheard by: Kaiti
Man to friend: No, it’s over. We had the wedding planned and everything and then she never got a divorce.
–NJ Transit to Penn Station
Old Jewish woman to very nervous Asian 25-year-old bride to be: Honey, I've been married 53 years. The secret to a great marriage? Give him lots of sex. Lots of good sex.
–Dumbo, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tanya
Man on cell: I told her I would convert. We could go to Vegas and get married next week, no problem.
–64th & Amsterdam
Woman on phone: My ex-boyfriend was 24 and he was able to support me, and you're 35 on an engineer's salary and you can't do the same. Do you know how many guys are begging to marry me, and can give me a dowry? So fuck you!
–Target Store, Brooklyn
Hispanic woman on phone: So where are you now? You already married him? Oh, okay. See you later.
–28th & Park Avenue South
Overheard by: Alie
Five-year-old boy to teacher about five-year-old girl next to him: We're going to get married. (to five-year-old girl) What's your name again?
–61st & Amsterdam
Loud suit: And she thought it wasn't organized enough! It was an orphanage in Tanza-fucking-nia!
Suit's wife, laughing: Where did she think she was, Switzerland?
–5th Ave & 57th St
Blonde #1: You know her parents are letting her study abroad next semester?
Blonde #2: Really? Where?
Blonde #1: Ummm, this place that’s near, like… Russia. Like, in China?
Blonde #2: Japan?
Blonde #1: No. Well, yeah, Japan’s in China, but that’s not the one she’s going to.
Blonde #2: India!
Blonde #1: No, but oh my god I totally just remembered! It’s New Zealand!
Blonde #2: New Zealand’s not in Russia, it’s in Australia, stupid.
Brunette passerby: I fear for this planet.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: MistressSilver
Chick: Do you want this seat?
Old man: I may be 100 years old, but I’m only going one stop!
–6 train
