36-year-old bald clubster: There's no way you're 36. I'm 36, and there's just no way.
36-year-old woman: No! Really, I am.
36-year-old bald clubster: What did you do–make a deal with the devil?
36-year-old woman: We've talked.
–Union Square
Overheard by: birdie
Cute nerd-girl playing scrabble #1: Did you see that episode where Data made a daughter? It was so good, and so sad!
Cute nerd-girl playing scrabble #2: Yeah, it was.
Cute nerd #1: And do you remember the episode when the little boy idolized data…
Cute nerd #2 interrupting: I remember all the episodes.
Cute nerd #1: But there was this one scene…
Cute nerd #2: I remember that scene.
Cute nerd #1: But I didn’t finish…
Cute nerd #2: I remember all the scenes. Seriously. There was one time when my friend was flipping channels, and she flipped to Star Trek. And I only saw like, a quarter of a second of it, with Dr Crusher bending over a patient, and I said, “‘his blood is turning to some kind of liquid polymer.'” and then Dr Crusher said, “His blood is turning to some kind of liquid polymer!” It’s like when some people hear like 3 seconds of a song and can identify it. I can do that with Star Trek.
–Starbucks, 2nd & 9th
Guy on phone: It's probably something beyond the bestiality in why you didn't get hired.
–4th & Lafayette
Overheard by: andy
Disembodied voice in crowd: Necrophilia, really?
–Times Square
Man: The thing is: my safety word is "No, harder, harder."
–NY Comic Con
Girl: No, seriously, my parents used to have like a harness and a leash for me, because I used to run away in the airport all the time.
–Fordham Law School
Girl to friend: Hot wax and genitals…either very good, or very, very bad.
–1st Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Will
Guy: Great. She doesn't even know me and already she thinks I have a produce fetish.
–Whole Foods, Chelsea
Overheard by: Hunter (aka,
JAP: Oh my god, I totally have to go to my cousin's birthday in a week. Like she is such a bitch!
Follower: I hate her because you hate her.
JAP: What? I don't hate her, she is just a little bitch.
Follower: Like, what's the difference?
JAP, walking away: The difference is you are no longer my friend and luckily you are sooo replaceable.
Follower, running behind: I'm sooo sorry! Please don't do this!
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Activist: Do you have a few minutes for the environment?
Pedestrian: I don't live here.
Activist: That's okay, the environment's everywhere.
–5th Ave & 16th St
Stoner: We’re on the verge of a spiritual revolution. It’s like Fight Club…but without the violence.
–Union Square
Overheard by: braun bowery
Guy: The fact that bar was full of ugly girls is just ridiculous.
–Union Square
Crazy lady: Fine, stay where you are, Linda! Stay on the streets, stay in the gutter…but put all your stuff away!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jen
Woman: If I die of malaria, you can have my DVD player.
–Union Square
Lady on cell: …so what’s the difference between the East Village and the West Village?
–Union Square
Overheard by: feitclub
Guy on cell: I didn’t throw the lamp at you because I was out of control, I threw the lamp at you because you said I was out of control.
–Union Square
Overheard by: John
Guy: Dude! At least you’re getting head. Bad head is better than no head, any day of the week!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Joy Smoker
Girlfriend: I'm not feeling so good.
Boyfriend: Why? What's wrong?
Girlfriend: I feel queasy and dizzy.
Boyfriend: What if you were pregnant?
Girlfriend: By what? Immaculate conception? Or your finger?
–13th St & 4th Ave
Overheard by: Biscuit-lover
20-something dude to another: It's so hard to get laid in this city before 11 pm!
–M-15 Bus
Hottie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white person.
–28th & 29th
Overheard by: A black person from Chicago
20-something male to female: So you'd better be prepared. It's like the Times Square of New York.
–16th St & Union Square
Overheard by: Annie B
Middle-aged Hispanic dude to Indian salesperson: This is New York City. Nobody's gonna kill you, okay?
–Rite-Aid
Young gay man: That's what I hate about New York City. It's such a fucking small town.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: molls
Lady: Where is the restroom?
Einstein: There’s one on 4 near the bathrooms, and one up on 6 near the bathrooms.
–Filene’s Basement, Union Square
Overheard by: Erika Karnell
Lost-looking chick on cell: Why do they always fuck with the trains on weekends? Don't they know there are stoned people trying to get home?
–Subway Platform, Grand Central
Overheard by: Poogtastic
Loudspeaker dispatcher lady: Hey you! Uptown number 5! You better stop sticking your head out the window and answer me on the radio!
–Uptown 4,5,6 Train, Union Square
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Elegant gentleman, as train starts to depart station: Oh, I didn't realize the train was going to move.
–Crowded Uptown 1 Train
MTA announcement: The uptown 1 train is running.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Krisztina
Dispatcher: The arriving train will be the next train. The arriving train will be the next train.
–G Train, Court Square
Overheard by: Katrink
Old man: I'm coming, train. I'm coming. I'm coming, train, you son of a bitch bastard!
–6 Train
