Gangsta wannabe #1: Yo, man, I gotta get me a new Sidekick.
Gangsta wannabe #2: Yo, you mean buy one or rob one?
Gangsta wannabe #1: Yo, rob one, fool!
Gangsta wannabe #2: So rob one then!
Gangsta wannabe #1: I will soon!
Very nervous white guy in suit right in front of them quickly slips his Sidekick into his pocket.
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Peter
Guy on phone: His dad’s, like, crazy, and he lives in a house all by himself, and the saddest thing is… the saddest thing is this guy’s dad is even uglier than our dad!
–Waverly Place b/w Mercer & Greene
Woman: Don’t even think about humping your father’s feet!
–President & Columbia
[Before the start of the NYC pillow fight.]Pillow-fighter: I’m gonna beat you all down like you were my daddy! [Hits people with his pillow.] Why weren’t you there, dad, why!?
–Union Square
Guy on cell: Hey dude, my flight has been delayed like an hour, yeah it does suck… [Pause.] Dude, from this point on I’m calling you "daddy". No: "big daddy". Yeah, hey big daddy…
–US Airways Terminal, Laguardia Airport
Little girl pointing at a grizzly bear: Daddy! Daddy!
–Museum of Natural History
Girl: I feel like if your vagina is wet enough, you won’t get AIDS.
–Kitchenette Uptown, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Guy: Happy Birthday!
Woman in Bday hat: Happy Birthday? I’m old enough to be your fucking mother. Wait, how the fuck old are you?
Guy: 30.
Woman: OK, maybe not, but old enough to be your father’s younger sister’s kid’s mother.
–outside Comic Strip Live, UES
Girl: I want a Marc Jacobs bag, and I don’t care if it’s made of baby cow!
–Outside the Met
Overheard by: wants baby cow bag, too
Guy, explaining his pants: Yeah, they look gay, but they make my junk look huge.
–Midtown
Man picking up trash to woman picking up trash: How you gonna make ten dollars an hour and have people making minimum wage looking better than you?
–Madison Sq Park
Shopaholic: I know! One time I thought there was more to life than that. But then I went back to Bloomingdale’s.
–59th & Madison
Overheard by: DM Cook
Teenage girl on phone: So where are you?…So,what happened?…Not to your shoe! In the hospital!
–Central Park
Overheard by: concerned trespasser
Cougar-in-Training, looking at non-trendy partygoers: Clearly they don’t belong here.
–Rooftop party, the SoHo House
Little girl: Look at all the balls!
Dad: No! No! Don't touch them!
–79th & Lexington
Overheard by: chiggie
Gay guy on cell: And they had the guy with the biggest butt stand next to the guy with the second-biggest butt! Seriously, what is wrong with them?
–6th Ave & 12th
Woman getting on a crowded train, looking for a seat: See, I told you there would be a lot of behinds on this train!
–N Train
Overheard by: Some behind lucky enough to find a seat.
Thug to another: After I wipe his ass, I'm gonna beat his ass!
–86th & Park Ave
Woman on cell: So, what are you going to tell him? "Sorry, I can't marry you–your ass is broken"?
–1st & 23
Teen to friend: Why didn't he use a tennis racket? It would have left that waffle fry look on your ass.
–Bus to Penn Station
Skipping tween girl to metrosexual father: I've seen your butt, you know!
–72nd & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Shannon
Man leaving Dunkin Donuts: She tried to sell me donuts!
Wife: Are you sure?
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: soph
Man: So, whatever you want to do, I’ll do.
Woman: But…
Man: I’m fine doing whatever makes you happy.
Woman: But that’s stupid.
–Starbucks, 87th & Lexington
Black kid to father: Dad, were you ever a slave?
Father: No, son.
Black kid: Was I ever a slave?
Father: No.
Black kid, sighing: Good.
–Doctor's Office, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Mike F.
