Meet the Wednesday One-Liners Who Wrecked the Economy

Suit on cell: I mean, imagine our mothers in Playboy…

–Borders, Penn Station

Overheard by: I'd Rather Not

50-something suit to others: Ya, we sold ten bags of herb and made $100.

–Wall St & William St

Overheard by: Mike D

Suit on cell: Hey, mom! Ma! 7 cents! You owe me 7 cents!

–5th Ave & 22nd St

Overheard by: Katie

30-something suit to hot female: I can't reassure you about your body while we're in bed, because that would imply that there's something going on between us.

–W Broadway & Houston

Man in suit: Every day I try to do something out of my comfort zone, like hanging out with you.

–Broadway & Murray St

Posted on June 17, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Body Parts, Crime and Punishment, Dating, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penn Station, Porn, Sex, Store, Street, Stupidity, Suits, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness

What the Hell Kind Of Weed Are You Getting for $10?

Black woman security guard: My coworker smoked half a cigarette and tossed it, but before it hit the ground some guy grabbed it and started smoking it.
Black guy: That shit nasty!
Black woman security guard: Sheeeit, cigarettes are $10 a pack!! That's a bag of weed, yo!

–Au Bon Pain, 35th &7th

Overheard by: Darkua

Posted on May 9, 2009
Black People, Compare/Contrast, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Restaurants & Cafes, Security Guards, Smoking, Weed

Just Our Kind Of People!

Greenpeace guy with binder to woman: Good morning m'am! How are you today?
Woman: I am blazed!

–14th St & Broadway

Posted on May 8, 2009
Activists, Questions, The Village, Weed, Women

Like the Time I Tried to Smoke My TV

Stoned vendor: That's a real marijuana leaf in there.
Random curious guy: No way!
Stoned vendor: Way! I grew it myself!
Random curious guy: So I can smoke the plate and shit?
Stoned vendor: Yeah, but you'll set your face on fire and go into a coma.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Dwight K Shrute

Posted on March 17, 2009
Guys, Health and Hygiene, Stoners, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Weed

Since You Got the Good Crackpipe for Christmas

Father: And since I've started smoking cigars in the basement, you can smoke pot down there without your mom knowing.
Daughter: Wait, seriously?
Father: Yeah, just don't tell your brother. He already thinks you're the favorite.

–26th & 10th

Overheard by: wish my dad was this chill

Posted on March 2, 2009
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dads, Family Ties, Girls, Smoking, Weed

Bacon!

Little girl #1 (shocked): I didn't know your dad smokes!
Little girl #2 (rolling her eyes sighing loudly): Not cigarettes.

–Church & Chambers

Posted on January 22, 2009
Family Ties, Kids, Smoking, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weed

Why, Grandmother, What Big Wednesday One-Liners You Have!

Dude to girl: Just yesterday I was smoking a joint and my grandma was all "that smells good, Johnny, that smells good."

–Hop Scotch Cafe

Overheard by: bildita

Girl: Speaking of back-door entry, my grandma sent me an e-mail the other day.

–A Train

Overheard by: naiad

Woman: He's just lucky I learned some tricks from his great grandma.

–Dekalb Ave & Ashland Place

Guy to girl: You look like one of them li'l ass frilly dolls my grandma have on her bed. Cute. (girl stares) What, I'm not gonna get a thank-you for that?

–Canal St.

Overheard by: The

Girl to friend: And so my grandmother was that mail order bride!

–Beauty Salon, East Village

Overheard by: moca

Posted on January 7, 2009
Ass, Backdoor, Beauty, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Friends, Girls, Guys, Internet, Marriage, On the Subway, One-liners, Pick-up Lines, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liner Menthols

Suit to another, on smoking break: Cigarettes are out, cookies are in!

–33rd & Park Ave

Teen boy: I wanna take up smoking just to prove to people how easy it is to quit. Seriously, it's not that hard. Just don't buy a pack.

–74th & Lexington

Bum to another: And so the cops went in and found them… And you know they can't arrest them for smokin' that shit…it's part of their religion!

–23rd & Park Ave

Overheard by: Francesca

Professor: The only reason valuable reason to start smoking is if you were molested as a child or some shit like that.

–Marymount Manhattan College

Girl on phone: So my roommate was bitching at me this morning for walking around in my underwear and I was like, "Dude, you got laid last night, I got yelled at by my booty call's girlfriend. I deserve to smoke cigarettes half naked on my patio."

–Lower East Side

Overheard by: innocent bystander

High school kid: Yo, I would smoke a cigarette dipped in toothpaste!

–Chambers St

Posted on January 7, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Cleanliness, Clothing, College, Cops, Crime and Punishment, Food, Girls, Hobos, Infidelity, Lower East Side, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Religion, Robbing the Cradle, Sex, Smoking, Street, Students, Stupidity, Suits, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness

Except When Your Mother Was Pregnant with You; That Shit Was Hilarious

20-something chick (smelling pot and laughing): Woo…better cross the street! Wouldn't want to get high on this second hand smoke!
Middle aged father: Yeah, you're right…first hand is always better!

–4th & Washington Square West

Overheard by: agrees with the dad

Posted on December 30, 2008
Dads, Family Ties, Girls, The Village, Weed, Weirdness

And Yet Every Coke Slut at Columbia Is Nodding Her Head

White stoner chick: Yo, I love Beauty and the Beach. It's got such a like message.
Asian stoner chick: Like, what kind of message?
White stoner chick: About social justice. That's such a stoner thing to say right?
Asian stoner chick: That's such a Vassar stoner thing to say.

–79th & Columbus

Posted on December 25, 2008
Asians, Movies, Questions, School and studying, Stoners, Street, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weed, White People