Male yuppie #1: Let's open a bar with home-crafted beer–microbrews!
Male yuppie #2: That would be awesome, man! No one's ever done that before!
Male yuppie #1: I know!
–Blind Tiger, West Village
Overheard by: Are you sure?
Male yuppie #1: Let's open a bar with home-crafted beer–microbrews!
Male yuppie #2: That would be awesome, man! No one's ever done that before!
Male yuppie #1: I know!
–Blind Tiger, West Village
Overheard by: Are you sure?
Man: Tonight we’ll go to the Polish restaurant, or we’ll go see Spamalot. Either way, we need the laughs.
–Elevator, 250 West 57th St
Four-year-old standing and pointing as Gaston is about to stab the Beast: Nooo! Stop that!
–Lunt-Fontanne Theatre
White chick: I’m entirely too white for this show. That, or too Canadian. They spell ‘color’ without a ‘u’!
—The Color Purple, Broadway Theatre
Guy on cell: I’m at Marie’s Crisis. Yeah, everyone at the party was ugly, and so I left, and I figured if I’m gonna hang out with ugly people, I might as well sing showtunes.
–Marie’s Crisis piano bar, 50 Grove St
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Small child during Tarzan: He’s dead ’cause he got shot.
–Richard Rodgers Theater, 45th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Adam
Black 40-something lady passing theatre: Ain’t dis a play o’ somethin’?
–Outside Nederlander Theatre on 41st St
Overheard by: A-Mo
Girl: Can I have that one, please?
Donut Wagon Man: Sure, here you go. That’s the Michael Jackson.
Girl: No, I wanted this other one.
Donut Wagon Man: Oh, that’s the Janet.
–West Houston and Varick
Cashier to coworker: I would rather be homeless sleeping under a bridge than working this shitty job. [To customer] Have a great night!
–Joyce Leslie, 8th St & Washington Sq E
Middle-aged actress #1: I just spent six thousand dollars on chemotherapy for my 13-year-old cat.
Middle-aged actress #2: Oh, I have a great homeopathic vet. What kind of cancer did she have?
Middle-aged actress #1: Breast cancer. She had a full mastectomy.
–Bank St & 8th Ave
50-something Long Island woman, showing pictures of her dog while talking non-stop about it: And this is Cici wearing a hat, she usually wears a hat when she goes out. And this is Cici, very drunk…
–LIRR
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Guy on cell walking a tiny poodle: Dude! The dog did it again. (pause) No, I swear, dude. The. Dog. Did. It. Again. (pause) Dude! This dog talks. Talks.
–Broadway & 43rd St, Astoria
(little girl finishes petting a stranger's dog)
Girl's mother: Now say "thank you" to its human.
–Central Park Lawn
Hyper tween schoolgirl: Hey mom, remember when we brought the dog to the mall and he peed in a coconut?
–La Pallette, 12th St
Guy to friend: I love her more than anything, but something about the way her puppy's paws smell really seal it.
–Rosa's Pizza, Penn Station
Overheard by: Craig
Guy #1: It is so over, but he doesn’t know it yet.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: Yeah. Too much wifey drama.
–The Roxy, W. 18th Street
Overheard by: Carlynn Houghton
Guy to three cute girls: You’re the best looking gay guys I’ve seen all day!
–Christopher & Bedford
Chick to dude: You could wear a dress if you wanted to.
–Broadway
Abercrombie tot: Wait, you can’t carry a boy dog in a purse. That’s unnatural!
–Penn Station
Tween girl to friends: No, she’s a boy now and she looks gay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R
Cute brunette: Who am I, forcing your lovers into a male-female dichotomy? I am terrible!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Guy, in chinese: Do you think I'm Harry Potter?
–Vivi Bubble Tea Bar
Girl on cell outside art bar: And I was like "Dumbledore, try some jeans."
–8th Ave & Horatio St
Overheard by: Jean Ann
Cute girl graduating to friend: I hate gowns… How does Harry Potter stand it?
–Columbia University Business School Graduation
Overheard by: Jen
Guy, after watching new Harry Potter movie: Man… that's it? That was a lap dance!
–42nd Street Movie Theater
Crazy woman wrapped in shawls: I'd kidnap and fuck Harry Potter for an eight ball of coke. (to onlooker) Why aren't you at work?
–Brooklyn Theater
Overheard by: JesseJack (I've got a Job)
Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Korky
20-something girl: I'm a teenager! I collect pogs and say "suck it," and listen to Kriss Kross!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Claire H.
Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.
–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre
Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it."
–Chambers St Subway Station
Overheard by: sarah
Trendy girl: I can't believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess "Don't Stop Believing" and "We Are the Champions"… basically any Queen song.
–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place
Overheard by: Any Britney Song
20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don't dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.
–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway
