Don't Get Mad. Get Wednesday One-Liner.

Super gay dude to equally gay friend: You can tell she's mad when she starts using adjectives.

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: liat

Angry black man to white man standing too close: Fool, whatcha think you're doin? You tryin' to get all up on me? You don't know what I could do. I could bust a cap in yo ass. I'm an angry black man!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Bex

Black man to Asian woman he's trying to hit on: Why won't you talk to me, baby? You still mad about the Korean war?

–145th & Broadway

Older woman on cell: Trixie, you have to stop kicking things when you get mad!

–40th & Broadway

Overheard by: Sean

Trampy Spanish girl to cranky Spanish guy: Why are you mad? It was just a blowjob, and he's your brother!

–West Village

Overheard by: Stifled A. Guffaw

Posted on September 2, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Asians, Ass, BJs, Black People, Family Ties, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kick, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Race, Starbucks, Street, Stupidity, Threats, Union Square and East Village, War, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, White People, Women, Words

Are You Saying They Should Have Bigger Things to Worry About?

White teen bimbo #1: I can't believe I got that parking ticket! Police have nothing better to do.
White teen bimbo #2, totally serious: Yeah, I mean… they still don't know who killed biggie, but they have time to give parking tickets? That's fucking ridiculous.

–72nd & Columbus

Overheard by: soyloaf

Posted on August 25, 2009
Bimbettes, Cops, Crime and Punishment, Insults, Murder, Stupidity, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People

That Would Be a Great Name for an All-Male Revue

Young white guy to sweating black FedEx delivery man in elevator: Wow, it's really hot outside, no?
Sweating black FedEx man: Man, it's a brotisserie.

–78th St & Madison Ave

Posted on August 14, 2009
Black People, Clerks, Heat, Questions, Upper East Side, Weirdness, White People, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Really Need to Montauk

Asian fag to white hag: So if a natural disaster happened and Long Island had to be evacuated, we'd, like, all be screwed!

–2 Train

Overheard by: Kosi

Woman on cell: You all should come to Long Island. They're fucking civilized over there.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: Smitten Kitten

Hipster on cell, suddenly yelling: Mom, I live in New York City, not Long Island! New York City! Get a map. I live in New York City.

–Greenpoint

20-something blonde on cell: Uh… Long Island… that's on the East Side, right?

–John St & Cliff St

Overheard by: BennyP

Jersey girl to Long Island guys: Oh my god! I've never been to Long Island! I'll need rockstar directions! Oh, and I totally have camel toe!

–51st & 6th

Overheard by: Fanx 4 that

Posted on August 12, 2009
Accidents, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, B & T, Battery Park, Brooklyn, Death, Fag Hags, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, White People, Women

Submitter Stole Our Damn Headline

Black guy: I prefer to keep my lesbianism in question. Sort of like a wave function.
White girl, cutting him off: Ah! Don't talk about wave functions ever!

–Hunter College

Overheard by: but keep talking about the lesbianism

Posted on August 7, 2009
Black People, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Hunter, Science, Sexuality, White People

Fernando Is the Clear Favorite in the Unsolicited Comment Olympics

White girl to friend: I used to speak Spanish.
Hispanic man, passing by: You don't need to speak Spanish! This is America! “America” is a Spanish word! “America Vespucci”! Spanish! Pshhh!

–112th & Frederick Douglass Blvd

Overheard by: i speak spanish too…

Posted on August 4, 2009
Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Languages, Latinos, Names, Stupidity, White People, Words

Unless It's Your Gay Cousin

Round white lady: Once with my cousin, Ned.
Stringy-haired white lady: Well, we don't count cousins in my home town.
Round white lady: So what if your uncle is your cousin?
Stringy-haired white lady: I suppose ain't no laws in West Virginia 'gainst that, neither.

–A Train

Overheard by: Raven L.

Posted on August 3, 2009
Crime and Punishment, Family Ties, On the Subway, Questions, White People, Women

Have the Effects Of Rent Not Been Widespread Enough?

Professor: He was more bohemian and unconventional.
White bimbo: What's “bohemian”?
Asian bimbo: He's from Bohemia, duh.

–City College

Overheard by: nella

Posted on August 2, 2009
Asians, Bimbettes, City College, Foreigners, Questions, School and studying, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, White People, Words

English Is a Stupid Language, Amiga

White girl: Opera.
Salvadoran guy: Like the black chick?
White girl: No, that's Oprah.

–Lawton St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Eric Frazier

Posted on July 30, 2009
About Celebrities, Brooklyn, Girls, Guys, Latinos, Questions, Race, Singing, Stupidity, White People, Words

A Piñata Full Of Wednesday One-Liners

Eight-year-old boy, matter-of-factly, to dorky dad: Mexican people like to put animals on their shoulders.

–108 St & Broadway

Black guy to white woman: Anyway, it turns out–and this is really weird–in Texas, they hate Mexicans as much as they hate African Americans!

–17th St & 8th Ave

Man to another: I just want to be gang-raped by a group of Latinos.

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Mike

Exasperated woman to friend: And this is why I don't interfere when it comes to Mexicans!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Green Star

10-year-old to friend: You have the same name as a short, fat Mexican boy!

–Maria Hernandez Park, Bushwick

Latino gay to white gay: You have good genes, you just don't have the Latino gene that makes your face moisturize naturally. I'm like the Dick Clark of faggotry!

–12th & 1st

Overheard by: H-Bomb

Teen to friend: Make sure that you're in Guatemalan mode.

–114th & Broadway

Overheard by: Jeremy

Posted on July 15, 2009
About Celebrities, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Black People, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Diet/Weight, Friends, Global Geography, Kids, KKK, Latinos, Men, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Queer guys, Race, Rape, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Wishes & desires, Women

White People