White man: That hot chocolate slowed my cognitive functioning.
Black woman: Better slow than fast minute-man honky.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: chinese new year
White man: That hot chocolate slowed my cognitive functioning.
Black woman: Better slow than fast minute-man honky.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: chinese new year
White guy: So Lauren is coming with us on the trip.
Korean guy: Lauren? She's got the crazy eyes!
White guy: Crazy eyes?
Korean guy: Yeah, you can't trust a girl with the crazy eyes.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Sherlock N Holmes
Crazy lady: Excuse me, excuse me, white faced nigga bitch?
White girl: What?
Crazy lady: What? You ain't never seen a zebra?
–Rockaway Park
Super gay dude to equally gay friend: You can tell she's mad when she starts using adjectives.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: liat
Angry black man to white man standing too close: Fool, whatcha think you're doin? You tryin' to get all up on me? You don't know what I could do. I could bust a cap in yo ass. I'm an angry black man!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Bex
Black man to Asian woman he's trying to hit on: Why won't you talk to me, baby? You still mad about the Korean war?
–145th & Broadway
Older woman on cell: Trixie, you have to stop kicking things when you get mad!
–40th & Broadway
Overheard by: Sean
Trampy Spanish girl to cranky Spanish guy: Why are you mad? It was just a blowjob, and he's your brother!
–West Village
Overheard by: Stifled A. Guffaw
White teen bimbo #1: I can't believe I got that parking ticket! Police have nothing better to do.
White teen bimbo #2, totally serious: Yeah, I mean… they still don't know who killed biggie, but they have time to give parking tickets? That's fucking ridiculous.
–72nd & Columbus
Overheard by: soyloaf
Young white guy to sweating black FedEx delivery man in elevator: Wow, it's really hot outside, no?
Sweating black FedEx man: Man, it's a brotisserie.
–78th St & Madison Ave
Asian fag to white hag: So if a natural disaster happened and Long Island had to be evacuated, we'd, like, all be screwed!
–2 Train
Overheard by: Kosi
Woman on cell: You all should come to Long Island. They're fucking civilized over there.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Smitten Kitten
Hipster on cell, suddenly yelling: Mom, I live in New York City, not Long Island! New York City! Get a map. I live in New York City.
–Greenpoint
20-something blonde on cell: Uh… Long Island… that's on the East Side, right?
–John St & Cliff St
Overheard by: BennyP
Jersey girl to Long Island guys: Oh my god! I've never been to Long Island! I'll need rockstar directions! Oh, and I totally have camel toe!
–51st & 6th
Overheard by: Fanx 4 that
Black guy: I prefer to keep my lesbianism in question. Sort of like a wave function.
White girl, cutting him off: Ah! Don't talk about wave functions ever!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: but keep talking about the lesbianism
White girl to friend: I used to speak Spanish.
Hispanic man, passing by: You don't need to speak Spanish! This is America! “America” is a Spanish word! “America Vespucci”! Spanish! Pshhh!
–112th & Frederick Douglass Blvd
Overheard by: i speak spanish too…
Round white lady: Once with my cousin, Ned.
Stringy-haired white lady: Well, we don't count cousins in my home town.
Round white lady: So what if your uncle is your cousin?
Stringy-haired white lady: I suppose ain't no laws in West Virginia 'gainst that, neither.
–A Train
Overheard by: Raven L.
