Glenn Close: Now That's Crazy

Black woman: Girl, I be crazy!
Friend: I know!
Black woman: I mean, that nigga break up with me, and I just start in with the rip-rip-rip, and I tore up his clothes, and his furs, right?
Friend: Right!
Black woman: And then he come home, and that nigga be cryin'! And I'm like, “No furs, no car, no nothin! You thought it was over? Now it's over!”
Friend: Yeah!
Black woman: And he can't do nothin' to me–I'll have his ass thrown in jail, you know. And then get him ass-raped.
Friend: What?
Black woman: Yeah, my dad's in prison. How about that, nigga? I put your ass in jail, then I get you ass-raped!
Friend: You are one crazy bitch!
Black woman: You know it! All right honey, here's the subway, gotta go, love you!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Posted on June 29, 2009
Ass, Black People, Breaking Up, Cars and Driving, Clothing, Crying, Friends, On the Subway, Parents, Prison, Rape, Threats, Violence, Weirdness, Women

At Last, My Life's Goal Has Been Realized.

Older woman #1: How much do you sweat?
Older woman #2: I can smell myself!

–Great Lawn

Overheard by: Riding a Bike on this Path

Posted on June 28, 2009
Central Park, Old People, Parks, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sweat, Women

Grease!

Lady: What Broadway show is this?
Little girl: This ain't no Broadway show, it's McDonald's.
Lady, laughing: Oh. Well, it looks just like that Broadway show next door.

–McDonald's, Times Square

Overheard by: Shana

Posted on June 27, 2009
Broadway Shows, Compare/Contrast, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Times Square, Women

Americans Think TV's the Answer to Everything

Pretty young woman #1: It was an accident…
Pretty young woman #2, yelling: You threw a fucking television at me, while I was crying over my dead chinchilla! I was grieving! How could you?

–Ghandi Resteraunt, 1st Ave

Overheard by: Danielle Lenore

Posted on June 27, 2009
Accidents, Animals & Nature, Crying, Death, Restaurants & Cafes, Violence, Weirdness, Women

The Prelude to the Greatest Romance Of Our Time

Gay man: You know, I have finally come to accept my sexuality.
Woman: Oh, that's good!
Gay man: I'm not even afraid to tell the world: Hey everyone! I like men!
Overhearing hobo, with a hopeful smile: Hey! Me too!

–Times Square

Overheard by: hobos are around at the strangest times

Posted on June 27, 2009
Gays and Lesbians, Hobos, Homeless, Queer guys, Sexuality, Times Square, Weirdness, Women

It's Like She Can Hear Everything I Say to You

Woman on train to loud Puerto Rican woman on cell: Excuse me, can you please lower your voice?
Puerto Rican woman, into cell: This bitch just asked me to lower my voice!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on June 26, 2009
Cell Phone, Insults, Offers and requests, On Cell, Puerto Ricans, Trains Not Subway, Women

Next Thing I Know You'll Be Putting My Baby in the Corner!

Black woman with baby, after being pushed by white woman entering crowded subway: Do you not see the baby?
White woman: Yes, I saw the baby!
Black woman: No, you didn't, because you were pushing your titties on the baby!
(white woman ignores her)
Black woman to man next to her: You! Get yo ass out of my baby's face!

–F Train

Overheard by: What's a sombrero?

Posted on June 26, 2009
Ass, Babies, Black People, Crazy, Men, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Rack, White People, Women

Wednesday One-Lineups

Girl: I feel like she's really good at illegal stuff.

–34th & 9th

Overheard by: hellothere

Haggard-looking woman, screaming into cell: What? Now you're gettin' locked up and I am going to fucking prison now! Perfect! (sprints out of store)

–King Kullen, Staten Island

Preteen to another: So when you get arrested and your mom asks you where you were, you weren't with me.

–1st Ave & 16th

Overheard by: Wes Mantooth

Female teen to another: Yeah, that's what my dad got arrested for, too.

–Central Park

Teen boy on cell: I get a lot of shit from authority figures. Especially when I'm getting arrested.

–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

Overheard by: The Man(dy)

Posted on June 24, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Central Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Crime and Punishment, Girls, Insults, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Prison, Psychology, Staten Island, Store, Street, Teens, Tweens, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Go Both Ways

Girl, to herself: What if my water breaks in an elevator? (laughs) Akwaaaaard!

–High School

Conductor, after announcement tone: By the way, this is not an elevator. Waving your bag in the door does absolutely nothing.

–6 Train

Overheard by: you tell 'em

Middle-aged woman, pushing "up" elevator button to another pushing "down" button: You know, I could never figure it out with elevators, do you press the button to tell the elevator to come to you, or do you press it to tell it where you want to go?

–Building, Midtown

Overheard by: Delish

Older usher at Empire State Building: Please step out of the elevator. And as Beyonce says, to the left. To the left!

–Empire State Building

Lady on cell, waiting in line: Oh really? Well, I had heard someone took a crap in a Manhattan elevator!

–Supermarket, The Bronx

Posted on June 24, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Elevators, Empire State Building, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Grocery Stores, Laughter, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Poop, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Public Transportation, Questions, The Bronx, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

…Unless You're Going to Prank Call Her.

Disheveled middle aged man: You are drunk! You are drunk! You are drunk!
Drunk disheveled middle aged woman, leaning against car: Don't you ever call my mother on Mother's Day again.

–Washington Heights

Overheard by: Tess

Posted on June 22, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Men, Parents, Washington Heights and Inwood, Weirdness, Women

Women