Lady #1: Girl, it was the best salad I ever *had*! Baby, it was better than sex! All I gotta do is eat this salad and masturbate and I'm good to go!
Lady #2: I thought it was okay, but it wasn't better than sex.
Lady #1: That's 'cause you smoke too much and you burnt off all your taste buds. You taste things based on memory.
–W 26th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Jason
(Woman #1 is trying to exit Starbucks while pushing a stroller. Woman #2 comes to her rescue and keeps the door open)
Woman #1: You aren't from New York, are you?
Woman #2: No.
Woman #1: Because you're too sweet.
–Starbucks, 114th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Dan
Woman to toddler: The devil is evil. That's why his name is spelled “d-evil”.
–Greyhound Bus
20-something woman to 20-something man: You were thrown out because you were always creeping around all those women on the fourth floor.
–42nd St & 8th Ave
Ghetto Thug: Pssss! Nigga woman, you got a mad fine piece of ass. Let me get in that, yo. Check it!
Scared Woman: You wish! Get away from me before I go get that cop over there.
Ghetto Thug: Bitch, I's just payin' you a compliment. Shit!
–Jamaica Station, Sutphin Blvd
Old woman talking to friend: All these kids care about nowadays is sex and drugs and good times.
20-something girl walking by: Hooray!
Old woman, yelling: Good luck! Good luck to you…see where that gets you! I'm seventy one and I haven't done drugs!
–Bedford Ave & N 7th St
Loud, obnoxious man: I hate loud, obnoxious people!
–Nomad Restaurant
Girl with brutal Long Island twang: It's just, like, if you have a Boston accent, you sound, like, so unintelligent. Like, less intelligent than other people, even if you're smart. The accent makes you sound dumb.
–7 Train
Overheard by: IDigGraves94
Angry black woman: Fuck you! I'm a lady!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Annearchist
Flamboyantly gay man on the phone: Mom, I hate you, stop being such a faggot!
–46th & 5th
Suit on cell: Yeah? Well, she's a bitch and deserves to die. You wanna know why? Because she's ugly and she talks bad about people.
–47th St & 9th Ave
Tourist chick carrying a Starbucks coffee and three shopping bags to friend: We are the type to visit Wall Street and say capitalism is bullshit!
–Broadway & Cedar
Overheard by: mondoman
Nerdy middle aged white woman to postal clerk: Yes, I'd like just one sheet of the Disney, and one of the Kwanzaa.
–Cathedral Station Post Office
Overheard by: Emily B.
Woman yelling down a stairwell: Happy holidays to you, ma'am! Hope you choke on a candy cane!
–Central Park South
Overheard by: Daisy Mae
Girl: One morning, I woke up and I thought it was Christmas. Then I went outside and I realized it's not Christmas!
–57th & Columbus
Overheard by: Have a holly jolly Columbus Day?
Irish tourist woman: You went to Macy's? Did you see outside? They have black Santas here.
–Brendan's Bar
Overheard by: Danny
Old guy scanning tickets, singing quietly to self after each bar code beep: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!
Conductor on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, we will be arriving shortly. In case you haven't finished your Christmas shopping, feel free to stop by the Metro North booth. You could buy a 10-trip for the kids, a weekly for the wife, or a one-way for the in-laws. Merry Christmas.
–Metro North
Overheard by: Christmas Spirit
Guy on bench smoking cigarette, on cell: But he has no problem lifting his legs so you can eat his ass.
–Central Park
Cornrowed boy to cornrowed girl: Stop chewing on me!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Kelly D
Random girl showing a picture to friends: I'm eating the baby's head. It's what I do in my spare time.
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Nameless
Woman to another with colored contacts: I just want to eat your eyes!
–Elevator, Broadway & 32nd St
Four-year-old boy to teenage babysitter: Oh, yeah? I'm gonna bite your vagina!
–86th & Broadway
Woody Allen lookalike: But buses are so creepy. I mean, what if there are cannibals on the bus?
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: or snakes
Jamaican woman on cell: Guess what? I don't stalk people anymore!
–Metro-North Train
Overheard by: Kristen
Guy to another: I know where you live. I could totally stalk you.
–PATH Train
Overheard by: fish
Man on corner holding many whistles for sale, wearing multicolored, umbrella hat: Young man, get one for your skateboard. Great for bikers, joggers, walkers, fast talkers and park stalkers!
–59th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Emily
Woman on cell: Right, right…I want to show him that's not me: I'm *not* stalking him…I'm *not* obsessed with him.
–West 66 Street & Freedom Place
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
40-something woman to sister (waiting for Daniel Radcliffe to come out after first preview of Equus: Okay, let's go. It's okay. I saw him last week, and I know where he lives.
–Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: ouch, you just elbowed me in the face, bitch
