Woman: Well, I'm concerned about foreign policy.
Man: Of course, you can make anything into a foreign policy issue. The environment… foreign policy… What does that even mean?
–Sweet Melissa, Brooklyn
Woman: Well, I'm concerned about foreign policy.
Man: Of course, you can make anything into a foreign policy issue. The environment… foreign policy… What does that even mean?
–Sweet Melissa, Brooklyn
50-something man to friends: Have you heard about Twitter? It's a new way of communicating in short text messages. Each message is called a twoo… No, a tween. No, a twain. No, a twat… No, that's certainly not it.
–Lobby, Off Broadway Theater
Overheard by: another electric guy
Guy with iPhone: I have to twitter! Does the girl with the room above the high line know she's topless?
–The High Line
Woman, while waiting for film to start: Joan Rivers just tweeted.
–Chelsea Clearview Cinemas
Guy on cell: All those food trucks? I'm not into them, but those fucking homosexuals follow them on twitter.
–Waverly Place & MacDougal
Overheard by: Sally
Unassuming hipster with group of girl friends: Sometimes I drink just so I can tweet drunk.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Middle aged woman dressed like a teen, hitting on baseball fan: Your cat could definitely have a twitter page.
–F Train
Scruffy American to tourist dudes: We could always just go cruising.
German #1: What is “cruising”?
Scruffy American: It's when you, like, drive around in a car slowly and yell things out the window.
German #2: Like what?
Scruffy American: Like “nice ass!”
German #2: Okay!
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Overheard by: MikeG
Announcer: There is a downtown b as in "brothel" train approaching 81st Street. That's right. Brothel.
–81st St Station
Angry hobo, after receiving no money: Well, fine, screw you all! The reason you ain't giving me anything is cause no of y'all speak English. They should call this the "e" for "immigrant" train.
–E Train
Overheard by: Matt
Dude outside bar at happy hour: He expects me to be a BFF. But I'm just a bf… No, I'm just an f.
–9th Ave & 56th St
Overheard by: K Melv
Businesswoman on cell: No… the letter s… "s" as in "shot."
–Madison Square Park
Crazy woman to herself: My mom always called me "a" because, when I was little, really little, like before I could talk, I would sing "a a a a a a" over and over. And that was the joke, that I knew the first letter of the alphabet. (shrugs)
–S79 Bus
Little kid, singing alphabet song: A – b – c – d – h – i – v!
–M102 Bus
Excited mother to son, watching Egypt exhibit: Oh, look, honey, those are esophaguses!
Embarrassed father, whispering: Sarcophaguses.
–The Met
Overheard by: KeaKea
12-year-old boy #1: Why do they call them African Americans?
12-year-old boy #2: Because they're from Africa, but they live in America.
12-year-old boy #1: But they don't call me a Macedonian American! They don't call you a… What are you again?
12-year-old boy #2: I'm Israeli.
12-year-old boy #1: Yeah, well, that doesn't count. “Israeli” is not a country.
–M79 Bus
Crazy teacher to little kids getting off train: People! We cannot convene in this manner! Do not stand around like a herd of goats!
Sane teacher: Did she just say “goats”?
–F Train
Overheard by: Afraid for the State of Education
Vendor: Let's go soda! Pepsi! Diet Pepsi!
Little girl to mom: Did he say “hot dog”?
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Eminems
Ghetto fabulous sister to another, walking out of bar: You gotta be a classy ho! Bitch!
–Fulton & Lafayette, Brooklyn
Woman on cell: No! He wants a fight and I'm going to fuck her up! I'm going to snap that bitch in half! (pause) I will snap that bitch in half! (pause) Okay, I love you too. (hangs up) Oh, she messed with the wrong bitch!
–27th St, between 6th and 7th
Overheard by: Hungry
Blonde yelling on cell: I was not being a bitch or picking a fight! I was saying "I love you, and these are my concerns"!
–27th St b/w Park Ave & Lexington
Overheard by: V
Girl to another: That's when I knew I was a bitch. My homegirl got kicked in the head by a ho… and I laughed!
–Coney Island Ave & Newkirk
30-something suit: I just need a bitch with an accent!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: CourtSnort
Mom to son, after looking through his phone: Who is in your phone as b-i-t-c-h?
–M60 Bus
Overheard by: Jingles
