Mother to friend: So, I had a hot flash the other day, and I was like, ‘Oh my god! Am I going through menopause?’ and–
Son: –Mom! What does ‘menopause’ mean? [Mother ignores him.] If you don’t tell me, I’ll yell it in public until you do!
–Starbucks
Mother to friend: So, I had a hot flash the other day, and I was like, ‘Oh my god! Am I going through menopause?’ and–
Son: –Mom! What does ‘menopause’ mean? [Mother ignores him.] If you don’t tell me, I’ll yell it in public until you do!
–Starbucks
Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?
–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave
Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.
–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel
TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Limey
Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’
–26th St
Overheard by: agrees with that girl
College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?
–114th & Broadway
Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.
–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Late-20s chick #1: I wish I was 22 again so I could just have random sex with some guy.
Late-20s chick #2: Yeah, me too… Me, too…
–Beer Line, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Still Pretending to be 22
Waiter: Every time I see you, you look younger.
Older man: Oh?
Waiter: Younger, fresher, more rejuvenated…
Older man: I’ll remember you in my will.
–Diner, Broadway & 78th
Queer #1: Oh my god! I can’t believe you tricked with him! He looks like he’s 70 years old!
Queer #2: Honey, everyone’s the same age when there’s a hand in your ass.
–51st & 9th
Overheard by: Geri AssTrick
Queer pointing at eccentric woman reading sides of soup cans with a spy glass: I want to be more like that.
Girl: What, ugly?
–Food Emporium, 50th St & 8th Ave
Chick: There sure are a lot of old people in this line.
Boyfriend: No they aren’t, baby. Do you mean Asian?
Chick: No! I know the difference!
–53rd & Lex
Overheard by: Emily
Old lady #1: Oooh, I’m so cold on this bus! That’s why I have to wear this sweatshirt.
Old lady #2: Well, I just wanna know when my heatwave’s gonna end. I’m going through the changes.
— B61 bus
Mourner: Hi, I haven’t seen you in a long time! How’s your mother?
Priest: She’s okay. She won’t be coming today because she’s not feeling well. She just turned 95.
Mourner: 95! She’s that old? Holy crap!
— Funeral Home, Rockaway Blvd, Queens
Overheard by: Les Izzmore
Second grader: Earth is the greatest planet in the whole world!
–125th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Yes, I’m his teacher.
Little boy to younger brother in elevator: Stop! It’s like the hospital, you can’t touch anything!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: student
Little girl: Big Brother is watching!
–Franklin St & Church St
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Little boy: Yo, digit, you don’t get any pussy, how you gonna say she ugly?
–Corsa Ave, the Bronx
Overheard by: Edward Carney
Little girl to other little girl wearing school uniform: You look like a woman. Go change!
–116th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Ken Yapelli
Little girl: Excuse me, where is the drugstore? I mean, where are the drugs?
–Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush
Overheard by: Cupcake
Little boy: I can’t wait to get home so I can scratch my crotch!
–6th Ave & 17th St
