A Gangsta Paradise of Wednesday One-Liners

Thug: Last I heard, he was being charged with some serious shit — accessory to kidnapping, accessory to rape… That’s why you can’t hang out with niggas that’s in love.

–Q19A bus

Overheard by: A White Bear

Thug referencing billboard of The Librarian: Return to King Solomon’s Mines: Yo, that’s an action flick ’bout the Dewey Decimal system!

–49th & Broadway

Overheard by: Nikki W

Thug on cell: Whatchoo mean, it ‘wasn’t a successful relationship’? I stuck it in her butt 14 times! That’s what I call a successful relationship.

–12th St & 4th Ave

Thug teen with sideways ball cap and pants around his knees: It’s like she tryin’ to be fashionable, but it just ain’t workin’, yo!

–34th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: knows better than to wear hats sideways

Young thug to friends: She makes me all romantic… Like, I want to fuck her under the stars and shit.

–Grand & Broadway

Overheard by: Ramona

Thug reading High Times: Shit! I did not just miss my stop again!

–6 train

Overheard by: HelloClairice

Posted on February 7, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, On Cell, Relationships, Thugs

Wednesday One-Liners Live Life on the Edge

Chick on cell: Yeah, but the possibility of being hit by the log is too great… And I don’t know if I want to take that risk.

–Train to Glen Rock

Young suit: I always have problems with zippers. Once, I was putting on my pants and my leg went through the zipper instead of the leg hole. It made a ‘rip’ noise, and then it broke.

–West End Ave

Traffic cop waving cars through pedestrian-flooded intersection: C’mon, c’mon! If they get hit, they get hit.

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: Jobee, a pedestrian

Teen boy: Those signs are idiotic. If the kid runs out in front of your car, you’re going to hit him whether he’s deaf or not!

–Bedford Park, Bronx

Overheard by: Cousin It

Go-go dancer boy: I’m totally the only one who hasn’t fallen off the bar yet.

–Pier 45, Hudson River Park

Overheard by: Palest Girl on the Lawn

Posted on February 7, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Cops, Dancing, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, On Cell, One-liners, Stupidity, Suits, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesday One-liners Are All Over the Map

Chick: Does India have internet access?

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: pixelvisions

Posted on February 7, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Girls, Global Geography, Idiots, Internet, Rockefeller Center, Stupidity

Behind the Scenes With Wednesday One-Liners

Suit on cell: I just don't know what my problem is. I keep getting fucked in the ass, and I just can't figure out why!

–54th b/w Madison & 5th

Overheard by: Pedro

Gay guy to boyfriend (angrily): Well, fine–you can fuck your own ass then.

–W Train

Overheard by: Bethany

Female suit on cell: That's the last time I tell him he can put it anywhere…I haven't been able to sit right all day.

–54th & 5th

Overheard by: GP

Hipster girl to friend: These short-haired girls are starting to piss me off. The only reason why they get all the artsy guys is 'cause they look like fellow fags and aren't prissy about taking it up the butt.

–6 Train

Overheard by: lauren

Girl on cell: He wanted to do it in the butt… No, his butt.

–37th & 7th

Serious woman to friends: Yeah, my students are telling me that the newest thing is butt sex.

–116th & Broadway

Posted on February 6, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Backdoor, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hair, Hipsters, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Queer guys, Suits, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Ain’t Shit but Hos and Tricks

Queer: If a song starts with, ‘It’s Britney, bitch!’ you kind of expect it to be good!

–8th & Broadway

Overheard by: Um, You do?

Girl: Why you call me a bitch? I’m Nigerian!

–NYU bus

Overheard by: sjhaughty

Thug on cell: You a bitch! You afraid to shower!

–42nd St

Overheard by: Brian Libido

Three-year-old WASP, entering room: Welcome to this bitch!

–Supercuts, St. Mark’s Pl

Overheard by: Leo

Kid running ahead of exhausted mom: Run, bitch! Run!

–Prince St & W Broadway

Posted on February 6, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Insults, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Words

Just Wait 'Til You Have Wednesday One-Liners Of Your Own!

Ghetto guy herding large group of rowdy kids off train: Scuse me, scuse me, scuse me! Lotta kids, they all ain't mine!

–C Train

Overheard by: Julie S.

Professional woman on cell: I mean, she said she'd finally come to the place where she realizes her kids are shit, and she can just wash her hands off the whole situation and be done with it!

–40th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Rachel

Receptionist to UPS guy: Shit, I got five kids, and they're all bad.

–6th Ave & 47th

Overheard by: thanks mom

Angry woman, yelling on phone: Nigga, don't give me that "parenting role" shit!

–Flatbush Ave & Park Place, Brooklyn

Concerned mother: He's not even potty-trained, all he does is eat the toilet paper.

–University Pl & 8th St

Overheard by: Justin

Posted on February 6, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Black People, Brooklyn, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Guys, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Poop, Should've Used a Condom, The Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Art for Wednesday One-Liner’s Sake

Woman at bar to her friend: Ok, I know I’m an art dealer, but I’m like, the least bourgeois person I know.

–Smith & Mills (restaurant in Tribeca)

Overheard by: the lerpa

Little boy to friends: There are are four really big, important artists: Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir and… Pistachio.

–Impressionism Room, Metropolitan Museum of Art

Overheard by: I love Pistachio’s green period

Young girl: These paintings smell nice and fresh!

–The Met

Angry white suburban artist to Jews for Jesus: Stop talking! You are pushing this on me without me asking -that makes you a cult. Go away. We don’t like your kind here -we are all white suburban artists.

–Morgan L Stop on Bogart

Overheard by: not a hipster

Gangsta: Dali? Ain’t he like, Picasso or some shit?

–The Met

Posted on February 4, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Artists, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Race, Religion, Restaurants & Cafes, Scents of the City, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Met, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women, Words

Wednesday One-liners Have Some “Interesting” Beliefs

Old woman: I don’t care what the fuck he says, I was a pirate in my last life, and I was on eight pirate ships!

–Williamsburg

Hobo: She was a…Mormon, no, not a Mormon. A Mormon! No, not a Mormon. What’s that religion that’s against violence? Not a Mormon, not a Mormon…a Quaker! That’s right, you know, a Mormon. It’s a circle of friends so I could just go in there and say, “Hey, I’m a Jew. I am against violence.” And they would wanna be my friends, the Mormons.

–Union Square

Sailor: I can’t believe that stripper stole your book.

–44th & 8th

Overheard by: Doug Singer

Girl: I would have been complimented if he’d been fine…but I believe he was homeless.

–21st & 7th

Overheard by: The Radford

Posted on February 3, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Hobos, Old People, Religion, Union Square and East Village, Williamsburg

Wednesday One-Liners Have Rum in Their Sippy Cups

Excited 50-ish dad to toddler: Come over here, Jameson! Hey, Jameson, we’re going to go get some beer! C’mon!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Late-20s chick to 10-year-old girl: You really shouldn’t be drinking…

–74th & Broadway

Eight-year-old boy to older brother: This lemonade smells like alcohol. It has an alcoholic after-taste. Yum!

–TGI Fridays, 54th & Lex

Man to wife: There is nothing funnier than a drunken two-year-old.

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Lee Harvey

Posted on February 2, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Drinking & Drunk People, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Wednesday One-Liners Are What She Said

Conductor: Please stop holding my doors open in the back! (pause, no change) Stop pushing open my doors in the back! (pause, no change) Hey, I don't want no more people squeezing through my openings in the back, okay?

–Q Train

Overexcited tourist dad to little girls: Alright, Jade*, blow the bubbles towards Leah*. Yes, towards her, like facing each other, so I can take a picture… When I tell you, okay? Perfect. Okay, now blow each other.

–Liberty Park

Suit: Well, it's not very large by adult standards, but it's big for what it is.

–Queens

Male office worker: My drawers are getting tight already.

–Broadway

Old woman: Would you like to give a donation to help feed our pussies?

–PETCO, Union Square

Overheard by: Lex

Posted on January 30, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Clerks, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Dads, Height, Kids, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Penis, Pictures, Public Transportation, Queens, Sex, Store, Street, Stupidity, Suits, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

All Wednesday One-Liners