Chick: Does India have internet access?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Chick: Does India have internet access?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Suit on cell: I just don't know what my problem is. I keep getting fucked in the ass, and I just can't figure out why!
–54th b/w Madison & 5th
Overheard by: Pedro
Gay guy to boyfriend (angrily): Well, fine–you can fuck your own ass then.
–W Train
Overheard by: Bethany
Female suit on cell: That's the last time I tell him he can put it anywhere…I haven't been able to sit right all day.
–54th & 5th
Overheard by: GP
Hipster girl to friend: These short-haired girls are starting to piss me off. The only reason why they get all the artsy guys is 'cause they look like fellow fags and aren't prissy about taking it up the butt.
–6 Train
Overheard by: lauren
Girl on cell: He wanted to do it in the butt… No, his butt.
–37th & 7th
Serious woman to friends: Yeah, my students are telling me that the newest thing is butt sex.
–116th & Broadway
Queer: If a song starts with, ‘It’s Britney, bitch!’ you kind of expect it to be good!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Um, You do?
Girl: Why you call me a bitch? I’m Nigerian!
–NYU bus
Overheard by: sjhaughty
Thug on cell: You a bitch! You afraid to shower!
–42nd St
Overheard by: Brian Libido
Three-year-old WASP, entering room: Welcome to this bitch!
–Supercuts, St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Leo
Kid running ahead of exhausted mom: Run, bitch! Run!
–Prince St & W Broadway
Ghetto guy herding large group of rowdy kids off train: Scuse me, scuse me, scuse me! Lotta kids, they all ain't mine!
–C Train
Overheard by: Julie S.
Professional woman on cell: I mean, she said she'd finally come to the place where she realizes her kids are shit, and she can just wash her hands off the whole situation and be done with it!
–40th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rachel
Receptionist to UPS guy: Shit, I got five kids, and they're all bad.
–6th Ave & 47th
Overheard by: thanks mom
Angry woman, yelling on phone: Nigga, don't give me that "parenting role" shit!
–Flatbush Ave & Park Place, Brooklyn
Concerned mother: He's not even potty-trained, all he does is eat the toilet paper.
–University Pl & 8th St
Overheard by: Justin
Woman at bar to her friend: Ok, I know I’m an art dealer, but I’m like, the least bourgeois person I know.
–Smith & Mills (restaurant in Tribeca)
Overheard by: the lerpa
Little boy to friends: There are are four really big, important artists: Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir and… Pistachio.
–Impressionism Room, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: I love Pistachio’s green period
Young girl: These paintings smell nice and fresh!
–The Met
Angry white suburban artist to Jews for Jesus: Stop talking! You are pushing this on me without me asking -that makes you a cult. Go away. We don’t like your kind here -we are all white suburban artists.
–Morgan L Stop on Bogart
Overheard by: not a hipster
Gangsta: Dali? Ain’t he like, Picasso or some shit?
–The Met
Old woman: I don’t care what the fuck he says, I was a pirate in my last life, and I was on eight pirate ships!
–Williamsburg
Hobo: She was a…Mormon, no, not a Mormon. A Mormon! No, not a Mormon. What’s that religion that’s against violence? Not a Mormon, not a Mormon…a Quaker! That’s right, you know, a Mormon. It’s a circle of friends so I could just go in there and say, “Hey, I’m a Jew. I am against violence.” And they would wanna be my friends, the Mormons.
–Union Square
Sailor: I can’t believe that stripper stole your book.
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: Doug Singer
Girl: I would have been complimented if he’d been fine…but I believe he was homeless.
–21st & 7th
Overheard by: The Radford
Excited 50-ish dad to toddler: Come over here, Jameson! Hey, Jameson, we’re going to go get some beer! C’mon!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Late-20s chick to 10-year-old girl: You really shouldn’t be drinking…
–74th & Broadway
Eight-year-old boy to older brother: This lemonade smells like alcohol. It has an alcoholic after-taste. Yum!
–TGI Fridays, 54th & Lex
Man to wife: There is nothing funnier than a drunken two-year-old.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Lee Harvey
Conductor: Please stop holding my doors open in the back! (pause, no change) Stop pushing open my doors in the back! (pause, no change) Hey, I don't want no more people squeezing through my openings in the back, okay?
–Q Train
Overexcited tourist dad to little girls: Alright, Jade*, blow the bubbles towards Leah*. Yes, towards her, like facing each other, so I can take a picture… When I tell you, okay? Perfect. Okay, now blow each other.
–Liberty Park
Suit: Well, it's not very large by adult standards, but it's big for what it is.
–Queens
Male office worker: My drawers are getting tight already.
–Broadway
Old woman: Would you like to give a donation to help feed our pussies?
–PETCO, Union Square
Overheard by: Lex
Young man: I think I hurt my throat when impersonating Mark having an orgasm.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Harmony Davis
Older queer to boyfriend: Uh! Uh! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum! I have to have this record! It's so good! It makes me orgasm!
–W 72nd S, Record Store
Overheard by: Never achieved an orgasm that way…
Punk kid to two friends: I want to pierce my shaft and put different things in it so I can give girls better orgasms.
–West Village
Overheard by: Andy & Nick
Man on pay phone: I want to come all over your cock.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: sofia
Drunk chick, loudly as the bar goes silent: I could make you come with one finger!
–Bar, Fulton St
Overheard by: Izzy
German dude sits right next to drunk guy and fiddles with his Blackberry, ignoring drunk guy.
Drunk guy: I can’t believe I am sitting here talking to myself, drunk off my ass on an empty train, and you sit right here next to me.
–Nearly empty R train
Drunk college guy on phone: Dude, you’ve gotta come down here… Seriously, everyone’s gonna be here! There’s these two guys coming — the first guy is the first dude and the second guy, he’s the second dude! It’s gonna be freaking sweet!
–Serendipity 3, E 60th St
Overheard by: a. keane
Drunk girl points to a huge heap on the sidewalk: This is my first New York City garbage!
–2nd Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: acep
Drunk girl: …And so Tiffany came over to me and was like, ‘Josh is such a douche bag.’ And so I was like, ‘It’s okay, have another drink.’ And so she was like, ‘Okay. If he comes over here I’m gonna kick him in the balls.’ And Josh came over, and he was like, ‘Can’t you just talk to me?’ And Tiffany was all like, ‘I hate you, get away from me,’ and he was like, ‘But you’ve got a really nice rack,’ and so they started hooking up.
–A train
Angry drunk hobo to security guard outside office building: I am never staying at this hotel again! Wait, is this a hotel?
–48th & Broadway
Overheard by: Cara
Drunk guy, shirt in pieces after being forcefully removed by bouncers: Good show… Good venue.
–In front of B.B. King Blues Club & Grill, 42nd St
Overheard by: Bluesybyer
