It's the Great Wednesday One-Liner, Charlie Brown

Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.

–A Train

Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?

–Halloween Adventure

Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!

–35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria

Overheard by: kathcom

Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!

–Downtown 6 Train

Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.

–Downtown 6 train

Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: J. Ra

Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.

–Soho

Overheard by: Edan

Posted on February 10, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Astoria, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Fruit, Girls, Guys, Insults, Kids, Men, Moms, Money & Class, Music, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Questions, Robbing the Cradle, Sexuality, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, TV, Vagina, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Gone Wild

College-aged girl, to her friends: We have to make out tonight. And we have to get it on camera.

–Ave A

Overheard by: damnitanyway

Yuppie girl: I felt so uncomfortable so, like, I had to get wasted.

–9th St, Park Slope

Overheard by: Corbin

18-year-old Asian girl: My parents just don’t know me anymore, you know? I’ve changed my last year in New York, you know? Like, I’ve had sex with a lot of people.

–Food Emporium, 50th & 8th

Girl in red leather pants, on cell: Yeah, but you have to bring a leather outfit, otherwise you won’t get any clients. Everyone there is a biker or otherwise they are latex fetishists.

–89th & Broadway

Overheard by: ejuliast

Girl: I used to have two vibrators, but I broke ’em both.

–14th St

Trendy girl on cell: Yeah, so Long Islanders will be there. You know what that means: debauchery…and danger!

–41st & Lex

Girl: He had the nerve to tell me that I had no life. I was like, “I do too have a life! I am drinking constantly!”

—Petite Abeille, Tribeca

Posted on February 9, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Drinking & Drunk People, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Sex, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Wednesday One-Liners Won't Go to Brooklyn to Eat

Elderly woman yelling at man looking at map: Where you going? What color is your train? Is it yellow or orange? This train is green. You should get on a red train. (singing) Red, orange, yellow, green, blue. Oh, and brown. Can't forget that. Just don't go to Brooklyn. No. No. No-o-o-o. Not there.

–4 Train

Overheard by: Sunny

Girl on phone: My friend said that's probably why I don't like Brooklyn–because I have the night of the living dead outside my window…

–Amsterdam & 112th

Upper East Side man: If you really want to rough it, go to Brooklyn.

–84th & 2nd

Little girl shouting: Everyone in this entire building is going to Brooklyn!

–Grand Central

Posted on February 8, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Colors, Columbia University, Death, Directions, Film, Girls, Grand Central, Kids, Men, Old People, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Upper East Side, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Let’s Get It On, Wednesday One-liners

Guy on cell: She is worse than blow, man…I can never have sex with anyone else ever again now that I’ve had a taste of paradise.

–Starbucks, 43rd & 3rd

Chick on cell: So how come you never told me about this other girl you are dating? She’s from work? You have to tell me these things! You can’t just keep this shit from me…wait, so you just fucked her and now it’s over? That’s how it is? Why are you telling me this? You can’t just tell me this!

–Duane Reade, 96th & Broadway

Overheard by: Douglas Dukeman

Chick on cell: I swear to you, Matt was an animal in bed last night, but Kelly was much better.

–72nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Sophia

Posted on February 7, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Infidelity, Promiscuity, Sex, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

A Gangsta Paradise of Wednesday One-Liners

Thug: Last I heard, he was being charged with some serious shit — accessory to kidnapping, accessory to rape… That’s why you can’t hang out with niggas that’s in love.

–Q19A bus

Overheard by: A White Bear

Thug referencing billboard of The Librarian: Return to King Solomon’s Mines: Yo, that’s an action flick ’bout the Dewey Decimal system!

–49th & Broadway

Overheard by: Nikki W

Thug on cell: Whatchoo mean, it ‘wasn’t a successful relationship’? I stuck it in her butt 14 times! That’s what I call a successful relationship.

–12th St & 4th Ave

Thug teen with sideways ball cap and pants around his knees: It’s like she tryin’ to be fashionable, but it just ain’t workin’, yo!

–34th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: knows better than to wear hats sideways

Young thug to friends: She makes me all romantic… Like, I want to fuck her under the stars and shit.

–Grand & Broadway

Overheard by: Ramona

Thug reading High Times: Shit! I did not just miss my stop again!

–6 train

Overheard by: HelloClairice

Posted on February 7, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, On Cell, Relationships, Thugs

Wednesday One-Liners Live Life on the Edge

Chick on cell: Yeah, but the possibility of being hit by the log is too great… And I don’t know if I want to take that risk.

–Train to Glen Rock

Young suit: I always have problems with zippers. Once, I was putting on my pants and my leg went through the zipper instead of the leg hole. It made a ‘rip’ noise, and then it broke.

–West End Ave

Traffic cop waving cars through pedestrian-flooded intersection: C’mon, c’mon! If they get hit, they get hit.

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: Jobee, a pedestrian

Teen boy: Those signs are idiotic. If the kid runs out in front of your car, you’re going to hit him whether he’s deaf or not!

–Bedford Park, Bronx

Overheard by: Cousin It

Go-go dancer boy: I’m totally the only one who hasn’t fallen off the bar yet.

–Pier 45, Hudson River Park

Overheard by: Palest Girl on the Lawn

Posted on February 7, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Cops, Dancing, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, On Cell, One-liners, Stupidity, Suits, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesday One-liners Are All Over the Map

Chick: Does India have internet access?

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: pixelvisions

Posted on February 7, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Girls, Global Geography, Idiots, Internet, Rockefeller Center, Stupidity

Behind the Scenes With Wednesday One-Liners

Suit on cell: I just don't know what my problem is. I keep getting fucked in the ass, and I just can't figure out why!

–54th b/w Madison & 5th

Overheard by: Pedro

Gay guy to boyfriend (angrily): Well, fine–you can fuck your own ass then.

–W Train

Overheard by: Bethany

Female suit on cell: That's the last time I tell him he can put it anywhere…I haven't been able to sit right all day.

–54th & 5th

Overheard by: GP

Hipster girl to friend: These short-haired girls are starting to piss me off. The only reason why they get all the artsy guys is 'cause they look like fellow fags and aren't prissy about taking it up the butt.

–6 Train

Overheard by: lauren

Girl on cell: He wanted to do it in the butt… No, his butt.

–37th & 7th

Serious woman to friends: Yeah, my students are telling me that the newest thing is butt sex.

–116th & Broadway

Posted on February 6, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Backdoor, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hair, Hipsters, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Queer guys, Suits, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Ain’t Shit but Hos and Tricks

Queer: If a song starts with, ‘It’s Britney, bitch!’ you kind of expect it to be good!

–8th & Broadway

Overheard by: Um, You do?

Girl: Why you call me a bitch? I’m Nigerian!

–NYU bus

Overheard by: sjhaughty

Thug on cell: You a bitch! You afraid to shower!

–42nd St

Overheard by: Brian Libido

Three-year-old WASP, entering room: Welcome to this bitch!

–Supercuts, St. Mark’s Pl

Overheard by: Leo

Kid running ahead of exhausted mom: Run, bitch! Run!

–Prince St & W Broadway

Posted on February 6, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Insults, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Words

Just Wait 'Til You Have Wednesday One-Liners Of Your Own!

Ghetto guy herding large group of rowdy kids off train: Scuse me, scuse me, scuse me! Lotta kids, they all ain't mine!

–C Train

Overheard by: Julie S.

Professional woman on cell: I mean, she said she'd finally come to the place where she realizes her kids are shit, and she can just wash her hands off the whole situation and be done with it!

–40th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Rachel

Receptionist to UPS guy: Shit, I got five kids, and they're all bad.

–6th Ave & 47th

Overheard by: thanks mom

Angry woman, yelling on phone: Nigga, don't give me that "parenting role" shit!

–Flatbush Ave & Park Place, Brooklyn

Concerned mother: He's not even potty-trained, all he does is eat the toilet paper.

–University Pl & 8th St

Overheard by: Justin