A Little Wednesday One-Liner in a Big Pond

Drunk girl: I just love a cock in my mouth! It is a fact of my life, like Blair and Tootie. I want to be carnivorous. I will eat fish if it's the only thing on the menu, but I really just want some meat! I'm not fishiverous!

–Party, Ditmars Boulevard, Astoria

Overheard by: likes steak AND seafood

Girl to friend: Surely if she was ever in possession of a penis, then on merit she would inherit the family lobster farm?

–28th & 7th

Ginger: Garibaldi… That is so weird. That is the name of the California state fish. I wonder if the statue is named after the fish.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: camillo cavour

Man to wife: That's too much calamari, even for a homeless guy.

–East Village

Posted on September 24, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, BJs, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Food, Friends, Girls, History & Geography, Homeless, Names, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Parks, Penis, Street, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Visual Art, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Not in the Face, Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: You keep talking over me–it makes me want to punch you in the uterus.

–Ray's Pizza, 52 & 8th

Overheard by: Jarett

Guy to friend: You keep referring to me as "that guy" and we'll see how long you stay conscious.

–33rd & 7th

Nervous man seated against the wall: I don't like this seat. I don't like sitting here. I like to sit on the aisle. What if there's a fight? I don't want to be trapped in a place with a fight.

–Off-Broadway Theatre

Overheard by: Hannah

Ghetto chick: Can't you get somebody else to fuck him up? Why you gotta do it?

–W Train

Overheard by: sara n.

Man: He was trying to turn his alcoholism into a positive thing instead of attacking the guy who raped his sister.

–The Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: Slightly confused, yet intrigued…

Girl on cell: Remember that time you got into a fight with an inch worm?

–Chambers St

Overheard by: Shooty

Posted on September 22, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Fighting and ass kicking, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Insects, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Punch, Questions, Rape, Sex, Store, Street, Theater, Threats, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Words

The Plus is They Look Shaved

Lady cop: Did you hear about that handyman in the Long Island school who was videotaping the little girls?
Cop guy #1: Yeah, he’s a sick fuck!
Cop guy #2: Yeah, sick fuck! They’re little girls, it’s not like you can see anything good!

–108th Precinct, Sunnyside

Posted on September 17, 2022
Body Parts, Crime and Punishment, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People

Wednesday One-liners, the Morning After

Chick on cell: I just fell asleep! It’s not like I’m seeing other people.

–42nd & 5th

Overheard by: Cresny

Chick: You told me you was a celebrity! I sucked yo dick!

–Union Square

Chick: I’m no whore. I told him, the closest you’re getting to getting me from behind, you know, doggie style, is licking your own balls and humping my leg.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: stuck in great kills

Posted on September 16, 2022
BJs, Body Parts, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Staten Island Ferry, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Another Reason I'd Hate to See You Go Into the Priesthood

Italian father: Hey, son, look at this knee cap.
Son: Cool. What is that stuff?
Italian father: You see the part that looks like calamari? Well, that will give you trouble one day.

–Bodies Exhibition

Overheard by: hrln

Posted on August 17, 2022
Age/Aging, Body Parts, Dads, Health and Hygiene, Italians, More museums, Parents, Questions

What’s Your Point?

Stoned hipster girl #1: Have you looked at your chest recently?
Stoned hipster girl #2: Have you looked at your tortilla? It looks like you smeared it with shit.

–93rd & Broadway

Posted on August 15, 2022
Body Parts, Hipsters, Insults, Stoners, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

But They’ll Never Spread For You

Guy: Lady, you got great legs.
Lady: I’m a lesbian!
Guy: Okay, you’re a lesbian who got great legs.
Lady: Oh…well, thanks.

–57th & Park

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on August 11, 2022
Body Parts, Lesbians, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Places, Queers, Sex & Relationships, Topics

New Technology Makes Crazy-Spotting Harder Every Year

Technophobic lady: There was some crazy lady talking to herself in the bank.
Tech-Savvy lady: Are you sure? Did she have a Bluetooth?
Technophobic lady: I don’t think she had any teeth.

–54th & 10th

Posted on August 10, 2022
Body Parts, Cell Phone, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

I Use Them to Fend Off the Unwanted Attentions of Strangers

Man reading book: Oh, what stop is this?
Man exiting train: 96th Street. By the way, you really do have the most beautiful hands and fingers I’ve ever seen.
Man reading book: Oh, thanks.

–96th St station