Secretary: What are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Nurse: My husband and I are going to North Carolina to visit his family. Why? What are you doing? Do you want to come with us?
Secretary: No. I can't. I don't have a passport.
Nurse: Uh.
–NYU Cancer Center
Overheard by: Destiny Traphofner
Guy #1: Isn’t that festival around here somewhere?
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s down that way. What do they call it?
Guy #1: Cinco DiMaggio.
–Mott & Spring
Overheard by: Cryptonomic B
Older musician in nice suit: It's Halloween! Hell, every day is a Halloween!
Friend: That explains a lot about you.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: stavka
Drunk guy, matter-of-factly: Everyone comes in here and thinks they're smelling pot, when really they're just smelling Italians.
–Hammerstein Ballroom Men's Room
Young girl on cell: Well, I mean, I have eaten macaroni. Does that count as Italian?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Kayla Monetta
Man on cell: And this guy smelled like shit! (pause) Yeah, I told him, "you smell like Italian."
–E 10th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: molina1230
Loud bridesmaid at Guido wedding: I'm Sicilian from the waist up, American from the waist down.
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
College guy to friend: From the minute they got here, they started eating. Italian feasts are pornography. Italian food is illicit sex to the puritans. Everything the puritans eat is bland and brown.
–Brooklyn College
Middle-aged, pot-bellied guy with a long pony-tail, stopping young woman on the street: Excuse me, but I just want to say, once you've had Italian food, you're not hungry for anything else. I just ate a calzone and now I'm going to go home and just go to sleep!
–8th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Not hungry either
Construction worker #1: We gotta go to this club I heard about. All the girls are on ecstasy.
Construction worker #2: Perfect!
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: las
Crazy preacher guy: If you think I'm not telling the truth, fine. But on Judgement Day you will pay for all those times you didn't go to church.
Passenger: Hey, it's Easter Sunday…shouldn't you be in church?
Crazy preacher guy: Oh, shit.
–1 Train
Girl: So, my dad friended me on Facebook the other day, and I was like “shiiit! Limit profile view!”
Guy #1: Are there that many incriminating things on your profile?
Girl: Not really.
Guy #2: So dad's not going to be attending Diane's “get drunk and dance” party?
–Downtown 1 Train
Queer: I don't want someone to fuck me with their stoma!
–11th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Amanda
Gay guy: That girl is such a Rice Krispie.
–Outside Gristedes, Christopher St
Overheard by: McF
Queer on cell: And I said to him, "Take it like the bottom you are!"
–8th St & 23rd St
Gay guy: I just got pounded by the two hottest guys I've ever seen!
–58th & 9th
Gay man (getting his hair cut by another): So we went to Fire Island this weekend and we went to this party. I said, "Patrick, you better pee on Jon right now to mark your territory."
–57th & 7th
Gay man on cell: Oh, morals disappear after 8pm!
–Amsterdam & 83rd
50-something woman: Do you have pastrami?
Deli worker: Yes.
50-something woman: Is it good?
Deli worker: Yes.
50-something woman: Okay, then. I'd like a pastrami on rye. Lots of pastrami.
Deli worker: Will that be to stay or to go?
50-something woman: Oh, it's to go home to my husband. Tomorrow is the fifth anniversary of his triple bypass surgery.
–Deli Store
Overheard by: ydnew naej
Young female attorney: So, I went to my cousin’s party the other night and did keg stands with her and her law school friends.
Young male attorney: No way.
Young female attorney: Yup. I even played beer pong and flip cup.
Young male attorney: I can’t believe you went to a law school party.
Young female attorney: Oh, it gets better. I was talking to this 24-year-old guy, and in my drunken state accidently mentioned the name of the firm, and he was all like, ‘Oh my god! My father works for that firm! Do you know Steve Callahan*?’
Young male attorney: Whoa.
Young female attorney: Yeah, so I tried bargaining with him, telling him I wouldn’t tell his father about how he spends his Thursday nights if he wouldn’t mention that he saw me there.
Young male attorney: Oh, so you should be okay, then.
Young female attorney: Not so much. He reminded me that in order to tell his father anything, I’d have to admit I was there.
Young male attorney: Touché. Looks like he chose the right profession… Do you think Callahan would let him be my intern this summer?
–In line for shish kebab vendor, Astoria
