Chick #1: My underwear’s so cute! It’s got a bulldog on it.
Chick #2: Why’s it got a bulldog on it?
Chick #1: It’s so cute, it’s protecting my vagina from intruders.
–Loews Lincoln Square ladies’ room, West 68th Street
Overheard by: emily
Chick #1: My underwear’s so cute! It’s got a bulldog on it.
Chick #2: Why’s it got a bulldog on it?
Chick #1: It’s so cute, it’s protecting my vagina from intruders.
–Loews Lincoln Square ladies’ room, West 68th Street
Overheard by: emily
Teenage daughter to mother, in front of Ashley Stewart: How about there? I'm sure they have some cute dresses.
Mother: Ashley Stewart is for fat people, honey. (points to three plus-size women entering store)
–Kings Plaza
Four-year-old-boy: And there was a girl. And she had rainbow hair, and rainbow clothes, and a tattoo that was a rainbow, and rainbow socks.
Mother: What about her?
Four-year-old-boy: She picked her nose!
–PATH Train
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Rich girl: I went to Forever21 and bought a dress. Then I stole some sunglasses and other accessories along with it, cause you know, times are rough.
–Metro-North Rail
Run-down-looking middle-aged guy: I got my phone stolen. Uh-huh. No, it wasn't even a trick, it was a friend!
–Home Depot, 23rd St
Overheard by: STC
Very loud child at display of cars to mother in line: It's okay, mom! You don't need to buy one for me. I can just take one and run out. Maybe even two, easy!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oneofmanymikes
Shopping lady to friend: It's okay to steal but it's not okay to be gay.
–94th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: venniblue
Girl on phone: So you actually caught him stealing from you? (pause) Okay. (pause) Well, you didn't want that anyway. So you're still going to fuck him, right?
–Broadway & 21st St
Tourist: What’s that entrance right over there… Where it says, ‘Exit’?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Ms. Dubs
Man to wife and children: I don’t know why you’re following me! I have no clue where I’m going!
–Rockefeller Center
Drunk male tourist: What time does Times Square close?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Genissimo
Southern tourist dad: ‘Papa Yaking’? What in the hell kinda crazy Jewish name is that?
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Manhattman
Fat Southern lady with teal leggings standing beside fat man with large rodeo belt buckle and USS Nimitz hat to security guard: We’re tourists…
–MoMA
Overheard by: Daniel B
Meathead #1: I think I just threw up in my pants.
Meathead #2: Cool.
–51st & 2nd
Hot girl: I mean, dudes are going to be staring at you anyway, but if your nipples are poking through your shirt then it’s just all over.
Nerdy Guy: Wow… Yeah!
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: rad dude
20-ish chick on cell: But how can I be getting old? I just gave someone an over-the-pants handjob at a bar last night!
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
Bimbette on cell: … So I got downstairs and realized I wasn’t wearing pants!
–Barnard College
Overheard by: yeah happens all the time
Old lady to teen boy: … And so you wear girl pants?!
–10th & 5th
Overheard by: Steph
20-ish chick to dad: I don’t have Alzheimer’s — I just wear the pants.
–Schubert Alley
Overheard by: Kerry
Loud high school girl: She stood at the subway and was like, ‘Could I have two dollars for a metro card?’ And that’s how she bought a new pair of pants. She told [our teacher] that’s how she bought a new pair of pants, but I’m pretty sure it was for bud. She said it was for pants… But it was for bud.
–Manhattan-bound R train
Overheard by: Maggie
Well-dressed old lady: He wants to go somewhere, too — into your pants! Okay, that was childish.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Professor: Gods, these students. It’s like they just don’t get it, you tell them things and two minutes later they ask you the same thing. How did they get here? What are they going to major in? In "homelessness"?
–English Department, Hostos Community College
Well-dressed 20-something girl: Homeless people tell me to cheer up all the time!
–1 train
Rich woman #1, fixing rich woman #2’s scarf: [laughs] Oh my god, you look homeless!
–1 Train
Overheard by: sagehen
Well-dressed woman on cell: It’s just another Wednesday and I’m a bag lady.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Mother to her flock of children entering the train and then getting off: Run guys run, theres a homeless guy on that train! Run!
–F Train
Overheard by: yana
Young black teen: Is that a North Face jacket you're wearing?
White guy: Yes, it is.
Other young black teen: Do you use it to go skiing?
White guy: Uh, yes.
Young black teen to friend: See! I told you white people use North Face jackets to go skiing!
–F Train
