Girl #1, pulling toddler-sized shirt out of diaper bag: Look, it'd take four of these just to cover my tits!
Girl #2, grabbing shirt: Me too!
Both girls in unison, singing to Britney Spears tune: My big ol' boobies, how was I supposed to knooooooow…
–Central Park
Overheard by: jenn
British boy #1: Can you believe we just spent $116 on t-shirts?
British boy #2: Yeah, we got one in every color!
British boy #1: Yeah, now we can be like those gangs in video stores!
–M&M Store, Times Square
Ghetto guy on cell: And then he asked me if he was gonna go to heaven and I said, "You ain't going to heaven, you are going to thug mansion!"
–125th St & Amsterdam
Thugette to thug: I killed him because he was bothering me.
–Broadway & 20th St
Overheard by: Robert G
Pretty thug in white polo (very loudly): Yo, I need to get a scale to weigh some drugs.
–Ditmars & 25th, Astoria
Thug to friend: You can't pull off the lumberjack look. You ain't the fuckin Brawny man!
–Jamba Juice, Times Square
Big thug on cell (angrily): All I'm saying is you'd *better* get your master's degree, or else!
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: Ladle
Tourist, before getting into purse-filled van: Aw shit, what did I just say? I said I was not getting into any strange vans today.
–Canal & Lafayette
Pseudo-knowledgeable tourist: It's so strange that they have turnstiles that go both ways, you know, ones that let you go in and out in the same turnstile. Every other subway station I've been in in New York has ones for entering and different ones for exiting.
–5th Ave E Station
Overheard by: Colleen
French tourist (with American accent) to French friends: Stand clear of the closing doors, please. (French tourists bust up laughing)
–1 Train
Overheard by: kdub
30-something female tourist heading to subway: I prefer the Sex and the City version of New York.
–Union Square
Overheard by: E-Love
Old woman tourist: Geez, you'd think they'd be a little more optimistic at the United Nations.
–United Nations
Teenage British boy tourist to the rest of his family, as they pass a souvenir shop: Oh! This must be where Tim got that "I heart New York" shirt! (whole family excitedly goes into the store)
–Fulton St
College girl looking for a costume: I want to be a bumblebee–but not a slutty bumblebee!
–Ricky's, Near Columbia
Overheard by: M
Suit on cell: Just put a paper bag over your head and you can be that guy! You're the paper bag guy!
–Sheepshead Bay Road (on Halloween)
Young child to mother, after walking by a large group of people in zombie make-up: Mommy, that homeless man said he wanted to eat brains!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Blair
Girl in Supergirl costume, yelling on cell: I'm so sick of walking. (pause) I said I'm fucking sick of walking! (pause) I'm just dressed like Supergirl, you asshole, I can't *actually* fly!
–E 20th, Stuyvesant Town
Loud young Latina on Halloween: I wanted to be a hooker today, but I couldn't afford the costume.
–Troutman & Knickerbocker, Bushwick
Girl to another (dressed as Wilma Flintstone the morning after Halloween): Man, the Halloween walk of shame is the worst!
–33rd & 3rd
Suit: Dan, I said you were supposed to dress up for the bake sale.
Dan: I'll let you know that I only have two genres of clothing in my closet: Shorts and t-shirts…and a priest costume. And the priest costume is a dress!
–Fordham University
Overheard by: sromeo
Woman making dolls dance: Eeeeee! Eeeeee! Eeeeee!
Young woman, waiting for her coffee: They're very cute.
Woman with dolls (still dancing them): They are. Eeeee!
Young woman: Did you make them?
Woman with dolls: Yes, I did.
Young woman: I like their little sweaters.
Woman with dolls: I didn't make the sweaters.
Young woman: Oh.
–Starbucks
Teen girl on cell: What?! His name was "food stamps?"
–Outside W 4th St Train Station
Woman waiting in line for a free iced coffee at Dunkin' Donuts: Daaaayum… It's crowded in here, like at the welfare office!
–Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Matt
Thug (seeing the line for Dark Knight: Yo, this is longer than the welfare line!
–42nd St AMC Theaters
Overheard by: Angel
Drunk hobo in seriously bright yellow jump suit: Will you marry me? I got food stamps.
–Broadway, Astoria
Guy on cell: What? Yeahhh, her momma's been on welfare so long her food stamps bounced.
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: nycpuhlease
20-year-old girl on cell: Yeah, I got the dress, it was like $100. I tried on matching pumas and I'm gonna go back to get those tomorrow. Hold on, I have another call.
(pause) Hello? Let me call you back, I'm on my way to pick up my welfare check.
–M2 Bus
Old German man: Last night those people were staring at us. All of them, staring!
Old American woman: Yeah, they were. I wonder why.
Old German man: I bet they were German too, I wonder if they could tell I was German.
Old American woman: You were dressed pretty classy.
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Jake
Teen girl holding up lacy thong to friend: Yo! Anita! Get dis one!
Friend: Nah. I already got those! Remember? I wore them for those pictures.
–Strawberry, Union Square
