Suit: Dan, I said you were supposed to dress up for the bake sale.
Dan: I'll let you know that I only have two genres of clothing in my closet: Shorts and t-shirts…and a priest costume. And the priest costume is a dress!
–Fordham University
Overheard by: sromeo
Woman making dolls dance: Eeeeee! Eeeeee! Eeeeee!
Young woman, waiting for her coffee: They're very cute.
Woman with dolls (still dancing them): They are. Eeeee!
Young woman: Did you make them?
Woman with dolls: Yes, I did.
Young woman: I like their little sweaters.
Woman with dolls: I didn't make the sweaters.
Young woman: Oh.
–Starbucks
Teen girl on cell: What?! His name was "food stamps?"
–Outside W 4th St Train Station
Woman waiting in line for a free iced coffee at Dunkin' Donuts: Daaaayum… It's crowded in here, like at the welfare office!
–Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Matt
Thug (seeing the line for Dark Knight: Yo, this is longer than the welfare line!
–42nd St AMC Theaters
Overheard by: Angel
Drunk hobo in seriously bright yellow jump suit: Will you marry me? I got food stamps.
–Broadway, Astoria
Guy on cell: What? Yeahhh, her momma's been on welfare so long her food stamps bounced.
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: nycpuhlease
20-year-old girl on cell: Yeah, I got the dress, it was like $100. I tried on matching pumas and I'm gonna go back to get those tomorrow. Hold on, I have another call.
(pause) Hello? Let me call you back, I'm on my way to pick up my welfare check.
–M2 Bus
Old German man: Last night those people were staring at us. All of them, staring!
Old American woman: Yeah, they were. I wonder why.
Old German man: I bet they were German too, I wonder if they could tell I was German.
Old American woman: You were dressed pretty classy.
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Jake
Teen girl holding up lacy thong to friend: Yo! Anita! Get dis one!
Friend: Nah. I already got those! Remember? I wore them for those pictures.
–Strawberry, Union Square
Yuppie mom to crying daughter: Sophie, put your jacket on or you're going to get sick and have to get shots!
Detached father: Yeah, ten shots…and they'll hurt.
–Bleecker & MacDougal
Overheard by: Samskiii
Man: I'll give you the shirt off my back!
Woman: I don't want your shirt. I give you shirts! Why would I take it back?
(pause)
Man (singing): “We are the champions, we are the champions…”
–L Train
Overheard by: sweetchuck
Mom: Look at you! Why are your shoes so dirty? I told you that white sneakers were a bad idea…
Son: Whatever, saddlebags…
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Let's be honest, mother. Those pants are not doing any justice to your hips.
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Listening with amazement
Preppy guy: They say beggars can't be choosers, which makes sense, because we're choosers.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Annie
Red Table change collector guy: Help feed the homeless of New York! All it takes is a penny and a heart, you fucking assholes.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Bemused
Girl to friend: I thought of you the other day; I saw a homeless man's penis.
–Lucky Jack's, Orchard St.
Overheard by: Argopelter
Horny dude (after being rejected by a girl at the bar): I asked her if she wanted a drink and she gave me the look that I give to homeless people on the subway.
–79th & Broadway
Guy to girl sitting at a sidewalk cafe: I know, what is with her? She dresses like a homeless person. And not Mary-Kate Olsen homeless but I-think-I-saw-her-passed-out-in-an-alleyway-with-a-heroin-needle-sticking-out-of-her-arm- homeless.
–10th St & 2nd Ave
Girl, to guy who has just spat on floor: Don't do that! Homeless people sleep there!
–6 Train Station
Teen girl to friend: You should get a t-shirt that says “Will work for chocolate.”
Friend: You should get a t-shirt that says “Will have sex for free”!
–Montegue & Henry
Overheard by: Hal
