Father to little boy: If you keep misbehaving, the police are gonna take you to jail.
Little boy: (giant grin)
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Father to little boy: If you keep misbehaving, the police are gonna take you to jail.
Little boy: (giant grin)
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Father, pointing out woman cleaning up tiny turd from tiny dog: See, if we got a dog, that's what you would have to do.
Five-year-old son, near hysterics: Noooooo!
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
20-something hipster to another, admiring long-legged blonde: How can you say you believe in evolution?! There is no way that that evolved from a monkey!
–1st Ave & 14th
Overheard by: Evolutionary
Little boy to brother: If I were a monkey, I'd take a crap on you.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Rebecca
Man on cell: Then Tim-Jim jerked him off with his feet. Only a monkey can do that!
–Bedford & Metropolitan
Overheard by: theeatenpath
Middle aged man pushing daughter's stroller: I can't believe she got Curious George's autograph!
–16th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Maquaid
Little kid to father: Can you let go of my hand for a little?
Father to kid, dead serious: Why, are you going to try to run away?
Little kid: Yes.
–West Village
Excited mother to son, watching Egypt exhibit: Oh, look, honey, those are esophaguses!
Embarrassed father, whispering: Sarcophaguses.
–The Met
Overheard by: KeaKea
Kid on bike: Hey dad–that Gap ad. Is that Viggo Mortensen?
Dad on bike, looking: Him? Noooo! (pause) Viggo Mortensen's black.
Kid on bike: He is? Oh. (pause) In Lord of the Rings he wasn't…
–28th St & Park Ave
11 year-old girl to dad: Sucking on something automatically makes you gay.
–High Line
Overheard by: Kirby
NYPD detective, working Gay Pride parade: They've been coming out for the last two hours. And they will probably be coming out for another three hours!
–5th Ave & 55th St
Overheard by: Just Visiting…
Not very effeminate gay guy, near extremely effeminate group of pride festers: Suddenly, I don't feel so gay!
–PrideFest, Abingdon Square
Overheard by: proud dad
Man to friend: The problem with getting too buff is that people start to think that you're gay.
–Starbucks
Male fashionista to stranger on bus: And she thought I was gay because I dress well and stuff. (to another passenger) Oh, is that moisturizer? Can I use some?
–Hampton Jitney
Overheard by: Can't imagine why she thought so
Woman handcuffed to man, having romantic picnic with rose petals spilled over a blanket: I didn't think I would be handcuffed to you in a park telling you all of my secrets when I met you in a gay bar!
–Central Park Sheep Meadow
Loud-mouthed girl to friends: She says, "I've had sex with over 100 men." And so I says, "girl! You fourteen!"
–R Train
Thirty-something black man to Catholic high school girls: So what's it take for a couple of black guys to get to play with y'all's skirts?
–Metro-North
Overheard by: kfkdjsdf
Father to infant daughter in stroller: Hey! Close your legs!
–SoHo
Professor: Your favorite teacher from high school turned out to be a pedophile? Seriously? Well was he a real pedophile, or just a hooking-up-with-teenage-students kind of pedophile?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Jack Package
13-year-old girl on phone: So guess what… I lost my virginity last night… looks like you owe me a soda.
–H & M
Overheard by: Imani
Tourist daughter: Is it true that New Jersey is just like Kansas City?
Tourist dad: Yes, honey. Only dirtier.
–6 Train
