Teen girl #1: Man… I really need some hair gel.
Teen girl #2: This morning, my mom told me I was too fat to go to prom.
–Bathroom, Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: thivnav
Teen girl #1: Man… I really need some hair gel.
Teen girl #2: This morning, my mom told me I was too fat to go to prom.
–Bathroom, Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: thivnav
Guy who just managed to squeeze onto the train: There no room here.
Girl trying to get on the train: I didn’t ask for no attitude.
Guy: You’re too fat.
–1 Train
Overheard by: DL
Man: I could die for a cracker.
Woman: You're really serious about that Atkins diet, huh?
Man: The closest thing I get to carbs these days is doggy style sex with you.
–5th St & Broadway
Squeaky blonde: When I feel like that after drinking too much I just totally stick my finger down my throat. I don't wake up with a hangover, and it saves calories too!
–Blarney Rock Pub
Overheard by: Ant928
Dumpy middle aged lady: I haven't lost any weight, but I'm still alive. So… I'm pretty proud of myself.
–Union Square
Girl: You should have to pay by the calorie. That'd make people less fat.
–Chipotle, Broadway
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Five-year-old boy to mom: Hey, mom, this energy drink has 10 calories less then the Monster drink!
–7-Eleven
Overheard by: CatVonD
NYU student: You know when you're on a diet, and you wash your face with apricot cleanser? It smells so good that you just want to, like, eat it!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: melbert
Woman: All my anorexic friends undereat during pregnancy.
Female friend: (nervous chuckle)
Woman: I mean, come on.
–Bedford & N 10th, Williamsburg
Overheard by: sarah
Chick: I could never run a whole marathon.
Guy: Maybe if you were chasing a Ben and Jerry’s truck.
–Central Park
Girl, in line for Circle Line: Oh my god! The squirrels here are so fat! Fatter than the ones back home!
Guy in line: Kick it!
Girl: The pigeons are fat, too!
Guy in line: Kick it!
Girl: I don't want anymore of this pretzel. Here, pigeon…
Stranger girl, annoyed: That's why the pigeons are so fat here!
–Battery Park
Chick: Damn, that guy there is sweating up a shitstorm.
Guy: Fat people do that when they exert themselves.
Chick: Yeah, but that ain’t no normal sweating; he’s leaking from his butt.
Guy: How do you know that’s sweat? He might be covering up his need to piss with excessive sweating.
–42nd & 9th
Teacher, guiding field trip: Don’t you look cute today, April?! I love your dress. I wish I could wear one like it.
Kindergarten girl: Maybe if you lost some weight, you could.
–L train
Queer: There were so many fat people there… I was, like, breathing fat-air.
–Lafayette & Bleecker
Fat guy, looking at cheese nips: Oh no! I don’t want the reduced-fat ones!
–Associated Market, Bleecker & LaGuardia
Latina on train full of Yankees fans and more people boarding: One person getting off and three getting on! Niggas is trying to fit and they fat! If you fat, take the next train! Oh my god! Fuck!
–4 train
Girl on cell: What would a party be without the two of us shaking our thigh fat at each other?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Woman: Skinny motherfuckers! I’m a plus-sized woman! I keep my man warm! I know how to make my man cum! Skinny Motherfuckers!
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: KA
Fat loudmouth: Obesity — it’s in the DNA. And last night, I felt the gene hit me. So I had a tuna sandwich, but I threw away the bread. The gene, it wants me to be fat — it don’t want me to look nice like everyone else.
–Uptown 2 train
Overheard by: Beecals
Realist chick: Yeah, I know how to say ‘french fries’ in practically every language because I’m a fat-ass.
–NYU Kimmel Center, Washingon Square Park
Overheard by: tj
