Cashier: In 20 minutes I can go home… Go home and play some video games.
Middle-aged lady customer: Yay!
Cashier: Either that or drink.
Middle-aged lady customer: Why not both?
Cashier: Well, then my mom will yell at me in the morning.
–Douglaston Waldbaum’s, Queens
Overheard by: Teen Girl #1
Tourist father to family, crossing mid-block: Okay, this is our first jaywalk!
Little kid: I'm so excited!
–45th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Linda Stein
Chick: Oh yeah, my grandmother was a prisoner in Auschwitz with Elie Wiesel.
Dude: That’s ballin’
–Brooklyn F Train
Wanna-be preppy: Hey! Is that the newspaper?
Slacker: Yeah.
Wanna-be preppy: Let's have a look at it.
(slacker throws paper into locker and locks locker)
Wanna-be preppy: Aw, why did you do that?
Slacker: I can't let you see it. It's not mine.
Wanna-be preppy: Whose is it?
Slacker: My girlfriend's brother. He's really sensitive…
Wanna-be preppy: Really sensitive about the newspaper?
–Midtown
Overheard by: Kane
Little boy: My daddy took my games away.
Mother: Why? Were you being bad?
Little boy: NO! Daddy was being bad; I had to kick his ass!
–A train
Overheard by: Gen
Son having tantrum: I don't want to go to the park! (throws his coat on the ground)
Father: Did you just take your coat off? I'm going to tell the Virgin Mary you're not wearing your coat, and then you know it will get back to Santa!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: canvasser
Blonde seventh grader, about Holocaust: Yeah, like, I'm Jewish on my mom's side, you're Asian. So, basically everyone in our class would have died from the Nazis.
Asian seventh grader, to other friend: Except for Laura.
Laura: What? Why?
Asian seventh grader: Because you're white.
Laura: I'm not white! I'm like… Pinkish or something.
–93rd St & Amsterdam
Mother #1: Yeah, Thanksgiving is so crazy. I decided long ago not to travel; it’s too much with the kids.
Mother #2: I know. I went to California once with the kids, and it was insane!
Mother #1: We just have a nice, quiet dinner at home.
Mother #2: I know! Once, we had a pantsless Thanksgiving. We all sat around the table without any pants on and ate dinner. The boys were crawling on the table, it was great!
Mother #1: Yikes…
–Avenue of the Americas
Dude: Well, it would be really nice if I could sleep with your sister.
–Washington Sq South
White girl: Well, if I’m so white, why do I have an uncle named Juan?!
–Hunter College
Scandinavian-looking girl: My mama has brothers who were Nazis. That’s why we don’t talk to them anymore. Oh, and because they’re dead, too.
–Bloomingdales
Girl crying and pleading with bouncer after he took her fake ID: But I need that back! It’s my sister’s, and she’s dead!
–Union Bar, Park Ave South
Overheard by: BOB Sled
Loud black chick on cell: Yo, mom, I’m gonna fuck your daughter up!
–H&M, Herald Square
Overheard by: Limey
Chick: I told her if she don’t sign it, I’m gonna dig Daddy up and set him on her porch.
–18th & Park
Overheard by: Tony Jones
Woman on cell: Do we have a conscious grandmother or an unconscious grandmother? … Oh, goood!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: white_on_white
Man: Hey, miss, would you be interested in modeling? You have a great look! Very original and unique!
Girl: I’m a twin.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: alyssa
