Yuppie girl #1: So he said he couldn’t date me.
Yuppie girl #2: Why?
Yuppie girl #1: He said he likes to date normal girls.
Yuppie girl #2: What?!
Yuppie girl #1: Yeah, like who likes normal girls?
–Spring St & 6th Ave
Yuppie girl #1: So he said he couldn’t date me.
Yuppie girl #2: Why?
Yuppie girl #1: He said he likes to date normal girls.
Yuppie girl #2: What?!
Yuppie girl #1: Yeah, like who likes normal girls?
–Spring St & 6th Ave
(bunch of people are buying wedding clothes)
Groom, indicating fly area: It's kind of sticking out over here.
Best man: Oh, you're not used to anything bulging in the front, right?
Groom: Well, I'm getting married, so I don't have to worry about that anymore.
Bride: Yeah, whatever. I know I'm going to stop going to the gym.
–Bridal Showroom, Flushing
Overheard by: Josh
Really gay guy: So you know how there's nothing on on tv in the summer? I started watching the gayest tv show ever.
Really gay friend: Yeah? Like what?
Really gay guy, conspiratorially: Star Trek: Voyager.
–Kashkaval, 55th & 9th
Overheard by: office peon
Angry musclebound gentleman on phone: Wait, you're telling me you had people watching us fuck the whole time? (pause) Actually, that's pretty hot.
Musclebound companion: Yeah, real hot.
–23rd & 8th
Guy leaving registration line: Yo,son, I'm a fucking college student!
–Borough of Manhattan Community College
Girl to friend: If I blow off the first day of class to go to Nobu, am I really meant to be an MD?
–Nobu Restaurant, Tribeca
Crazy guy: School is good! School is very good! You can speak Chinese! You can speak Japanese! (counts to ten in Spanish.) School is good! School is very good!
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Hipster art student: He keeps giving us too many penis assignments. I don't wanna do another penis assignment.
–Pratt Institute
Blonde: My mom wants me to look at graduation dresses…yeah, let's see if I get there first.
–Austin St, Forest Hills
Older Puerto Rican woman: Did you hear about the story of the Dominican woman who locked up her son for 25 years?
(disinterested friend shakes head)
Older Puerto Rican woman: He was gorgeous… beautiful. You know who he looked like?
Disinterested friend: Who?
Older Puerto Rican woman: Jesus Christ!
–106th St & 3rd Ave
Girl on cell: I don't know what it is with me and virgins. I think I've collected like four virgin scalps.
–Q58 Bus
Overheard by: Tom
Cashier, screaming to friend cashier: But why do you have to tell everyone that he's the guy who popped my cherry?
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: tomas
Ghetto girl: If you got finger-popped, you ain't no virgin.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Jake M
Teen boy on cell: Of course I don't have any kids! Girl, you know I'm pure–like water in Africa.
–Manhattan Ave & 123rd St.
Overheard by: CreativeBunny
Hispanic girl, loudly to a group of friends : I mean, I'm still a virgin and I have three STDs!
–Ave C
Blonde: Yeah, so I talked to him on the phone about three weeks ago, and he was saying how we haven’t chilled ’cause he’s been in and out of court… I don’t know. I wish he’d call.
Brunette: Hey, maybe he’s in jail.
Blonde: Damn… I still didn’t get my lighter back!
–Park Slope
Girl on cell: You're like the male version of me! Of course I want to have sex with you!
–Washington Square Park
Girl: I don't give a shit about your personal life, will anyone in this bar have goddamn sex with me?!
–Naked Lunch, Tribeca
Guy on cell: So anyway, I told her I'd come and fuck her brains out. Wait a minute, I've got another call coming in… (answers) Hi, mom!
–E Train
Gay queen, while female friends take photo of werewolf: It's worth having sex with just because of the foot…
–The Slaughtered Lamb Pub, West Village
Overheard by: Lost on Christmas Day
Girl on phone: I ain't denying you shit, motherfucker! You want to pound my ass? Come over and pound me! You want to fill my mouth with juice? Then fill me with juicy goodness! (pause) Okay, I'll see you later tonight, then.
–W 123rd & 8th Ave
Ferry queer on phone: Everyone looks like the sex they had last night.
–Staten Island
Female singer: Sorry about the delay. I had to pee, so I went.
Guy in audience: What did she say?
Friend: She had to pee. And she went.
Guy in Audience: Ohhh man. That’s awesome.
–Irving Plaza, Starlight Mints show
