Overly excited 20-something girl: It's Valentine's Day on Sunday.
Less excited friend: I know, I have a paper due then.
–Grand Central Station
Overly excited 20-something girl: It's Valentine's Day on Sunday.
Less excited friend: I know, I have a paper due then.
–Grand Central Station
60-something veteran: Are you on google?
60-something friend: Yeah, I'm on google. I'm on everything!
–Dunkin' Donuts
Overheard by: CJ
JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer.
–Spot’s Café
JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies!
–Hunter College
Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine.
–University & 12th
JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion!
–17th & 6th
NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight!
–Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Maya G.
Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ponine
Non-hipster dude: I've looked everywhere, I can't find a soda anywhere!
Non-hipster friend: It's Williamsburg. I don't think they have soda.
–Brooklyn
Dude: You know, she slept with that guy you slept with.
Chick: What? Which one?
Dude: Richard?
Chick: Oh my god, she always does that.
–Williamsburg
Dude: When I was a little girl…
Chick: What?!
Dude: What? I’m comfortable with my sexuality.
Chick: Which is what?!
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Sarah
Loud dude: I think nap time should be enforced by the government. Anyone who doesn't take a nap should be sent to jail.
Friend: Yeah, nap jail!
–D Train
Hot black girl: Where did summer go? Now we're all back to wearing glasses and snorting Adderall… or taking it with water.
–24th St & 3rd Ave
Guy to friend: If I just gave up speed I'd totally be getting more ass.
–Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Jack
Guy to another: Yeah, so you take a gram of coke, then mix it with a ground-up Xanax, then mash up an E. Then you put it all into pill form, and down it with a Sparks!
–N Train
Architecture professor: Everything in moderation… except for heroin. Heroin, you go for the gusto.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Denali
3rd grader, cheerily announcing to subway: I'm starving! I didn't even have breakfast! (jubilantly) Just candy!
–4 Train
Overheard by: i tried that once
Cosi employee to another: Dude, don't tell anyone, but I put a *special ingredient* in the brownies.
–Cosi Restaurant
Fat girl with three skinny friends and a large cupcake: So what do you think our cupcake choices say about our personalities?
–Crumbs Bake Shop
Overheard by: Damon
Old guy with ponytail: You bootlegged My Bloody Valentine? That's like breaking into the US Mint and stealing the chocolate sauce!
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Good Analogy
Girl: And by "jellybean," I mean "fetus"!
–Christopher & W 4th St
Woman: It's no longer a chocolate vagina, it's just a pool of chocolate!
–Manhattan Center Grand Ballroom
Overheard by: Ilyssa
Cyclist: So he was all, "my shit is your shit," and I thought, "that's the most romantic thing I've heard."
–Central Park
Dude on cell, checking out sunblock: They don't have shit here. SPF 15 is too high!
–Duane Reade, Flushing
Toddler that dropped his toy: Oh, shit!
–7th Ave, Park Slope
10-year-old boy to friend: That was like the first time I ever took a shit in a public bathroom.
–2nd Ave & 9th St
Man in baggy jeans walking with gusto: Oh, yes, oh yeah. She wanted my shiiit… She wanted my shit!
–6 Train
Chick to friends: He is totally going to shit a tampon!
–84th St & Amsterdam
