Girl: So I swept everything into a pile and I walked away for like, a second, and when I come back this little Mexican girl and her mom are seriously dancing in this pile of garbage and totally fucking up my sweeping. Why would anyone do that?!
Guy: Dude, they were Mexican. Garbage is like water to them.
–Urban Outfitters
Guy #1: I saw Jerry Stiller naked.
Guy #2: [Silence.]Guy #1: You know, Ben Stiller’s dad.
Guy #2: … I know.
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Kendrick
Overly excited 20-something girl: It's Valentine's Day on Sunday.
Less excited friend: I know, I have a paper due then.
–Grand Central Station
60-something veteran: Are you on google?
60-something friend: Yeah, I'm on google. I'm on everything!
–Dunkin' Donuts
Overheard by: CJ
JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer.
–Spot’s Café
JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies!
–Hunter College
Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine.
–University & 12th
JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion!
–17th & 6th
NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight!
–Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Maya G.
Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ponine
Non-hipster dude: I've looked everywhere, I can't find a soda anywhere!
Non-hipster friend: It's Williamsburg. I don't think they have soda.
–Brooklyn
Dude: You know, she slept with that guy you slept with.
Chick: What? Which one?
Dude: Richard?
Chick: Oh my god, she always does that.
–Williamsburg
Dude: When I was a little girl…
Chick: What?!
Dude: What? I’m comfortable with my sexuality.
Chick: Which is what?!
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Sarah
Loud dude: I think nap time should be enforced by the government. Anyone who doesn't take a nap should be sent to jail.
Friend: Yeah, nap jail!
–D Train
Hot black girl: Where did summer go? Now we're all back to wearing glasses and snorting Adderall… or taking it with water.
–24th St & 3rd Ave
Guy to friend: If I just gave up speed I'd totally be getting more ass.
–Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Jack
Guy to another: Yeah, so you take a gram of coke, then mix it with a ground-up Xanax, then mash up an E. Then you put it all into pill form, and down it with a Sparks!
–N Train
Architecture professor: Everything in moderation… except for heroin. Heroin, you go for the gusto.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Denali
